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90s Comics, 90s DC, DC Comics, Uncategorized

Character Eradication (part 3 of 3)

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Well, here we are. The end of the Eradicator miniseries. I hope you’ve enjoyed his journey to discover himself as much as I have. Like I said in the first part of this series, the Eradicator character has been a creature of constant change from his very beginning. That used to annoy me truthfully. But now? I see him as a mirror for life. Aren’t we as human beings always recreating ourselves? Changing. Maybe that makes the Eradicator more human than I thought. Maybe. (Way too deep. I need a joke here. Please insert a fart noise at this point as you read. Thank you.) Now, sit back and enjoy my look back at “Eradicator” #3…..

The grotesque creature that thinks itself a type of reincarnation of the dead kryptonian scientist, Kem-L, bursts into our world over the freezing waters of the Antarctic! It delights in the sensations that its new form can feel. But suddenly, the creature feels intense pain! It is not yet complete. For that, it will need the full power of the one called the Eradicator. Kem-L knows where to go on this planet to get his attention too. He flies off with a sinister new purpose! Meanwhile, the Eradicator hovers over the vast Pacific Ocean. He is deep in thought when the person he’s been waiting for arrives at last. Superboy gives him a happy greeting, the small white dog, Krypto, held protectively in his arms. (Is it me, or does the bad guy somewhat resemble the trash after a night of chowing down on some delicious KFC? Ha! Just try and get that image out of your heads!)

The Eradicator asks if the rest of the Superman Family will be arriving soon. Superboy replies that the others were just too busy to come. It’d just be him. The Eradicator nods and the two super-beings fly off to speak more privately on land. They arrive quickly upon a tropical isle. After a moment, the Eradicator asks Superboy the question burning within him. He asks, since Superboy now knows himself to be a clone, does he still feel like a real person? Superboy is deeply offended by this question. Of course he does! What kind of a cruel question was that? The Eradicator attempts to apologize, but flees the uncomfortable scene instead. Moments later, Superboy joins him in the skies. Now calmed down, he answers that even though they weren’t born in the typical way, it’s their emotions that make them real. This gives them their soul. The Eradicator considers Superboy’s outlook later. Could he actually have a soul? (Try to sing the blues my kryptonian brother. Then you’ll know. God, that was a lame joke. Umm…..more fart noises? There! Saved it!)

At that moment in the Bronx, Sarah Conner lies awake, troubled by recent events in her life. Could the monster that destroyed her apartment actually be her husband reborn? How would that even be possible? Suddenly, she becomes aware of a bright light coming from outside the bedroom window. Sensing trouble, she protects her children as best as she can. That’s when an energy blast explodes through the wall and the demonic-looking Kem-L steps through! Meanwhile, the Eradicator makes up his mind in the planet’s orbit. He will leave the Earth behind and explore deepest space. But first, he must at least see his human side’s family one last time. He flies off immediately to do so. Kem-L looks to the human family before him, breathing in the scent of their rage and fear. He finds it intoxicating. (Probably a bit of poo stink too. I know if that horrific thing burst through my apartment wall, he’d smell more than rage and fear. Just sayin’.) He demands that they tell him where they have the Eradicator hidden!

Sarah’s brother, Mike, leaps off of his sleeping place on the floor and puts his arms out in a protective manner towards his sister and nephews. He would protect them with his life if need be! But this scene is interrupted by gunshots hitting the creature’s exposed back from the hole in the wall! It turns to see police officers as they open fire once again. More amused than anything else, Kem-L blasts his energy towards the police! After a parked car explodes and the officers run for safety, he turns his attention back to the family once more. Only they’re no longer there! But alas, the family is quickly located once again, nearly free of the building before Kem-L blasts a hole in the floor above their heads! Sarah pleads for her children’s lives as the descending Kem-L slowly hovers towards them! He grabs Sarah by her throat and lifts her menacingly into the air! Her boys look on helpless as their uncle lies on the ground unconscious! (Is there another way to choke someone besides menacingly? Don’t answer that! Perverts.) But before the monster can hurt her, the Eradicator arrives, eyes and fists glowing with power! He orders Kem-L to drop the woman now!

Kem-L seems genuinely confused. Are they both not superior lifeforms? Better in every way than these frail humans? The Eradicator replies that he shares their core weakness. He cares. He continues that he can drain him of his energies, just leave the human family alone. The monster replies that this will not do. No. They must die to free the Eradicator of his weakness. The Eradicator answers that he will not fight Kem-L. Kill the humans then. He cares not! And with that, he flies through the apartment’s roof! Leaving Sarah, Mike, and the two young boys to perish at the hands of this nightmare from Krypton’s dark past! Kem-L cackles maniacally as he readies himself to snap poor Sarah Conner’s neck! Just then, the Eradicator smashes through the roof above the creature, severing it’s right arm with the force of his blow! (Psych! You thought he was gonna leave too, didn’t you? Ha! He showed you. This guy should sell medical insurance over the phone with his uncanny skill to lie without remorse.)

The beast roars in pain as Sarah and the children escape! It then begins to shapeshift into it’s female form. It talks calmly to the Eradicator as it slowly approaches. The dark hero seems transfixed by these words and the beautiful face until Kem-L strikes with a mighty uppercut! This sends the Eradicator crashing into a brick wall with such force, even he is stunned! Kem-L follows this by throwing the other being through wall after wall! The blows begin to take their toll after awhile. At last, the Eradicator seems defeated! He replies that he will fight no more. He will give his energy over freely. His eyes glow as he says the last words. Suddenly, the building explodes into rubble as the Eradicator unleashes the fury of his full power! Sarah cries out that Mike is still inside! She runs to save him! But moments after she enters the inferno, the Eradicator comes crashing through a wall to the outside, Mike held safely in his powerful arms! (I hope these people have renter’s insurance and that it covers “Acts of Krypton”!)

Eradicator slowly and carefully lies the man in the street near the children. One of them pulls insistently upon the superhero’s cape. He turns to see terror in the boy’s face as he explains that his mother went back into the building! The Eradicator loses no time as he speeds back into the blaze! He calls out frantically for Sarah to say something so he can locate her. He hears a low groan. Turning, he sees her. She’s trapped under some flaming wreckage! He rushes forward and throws it off of her at lightning speed! He tries to console her. She’ll be okay. Sarah caresses his face and whispers that he’s lying with a gentle smile. That’s when the unthinkable happens. For the briefest of moments, their minds become one! He feels every emotion, sees every triumph and heartache! And then nothing. Sarah’s hand drops limply. She is no more. (I’m not gonna cry. I’m not gonna…..sob…..don’t look at me! Umm. I mean, let’s continue on with our story…..)

Later, he watches her funeral from a distance. It’s a beautiful service as services go. He mourns her. But does he have the right? After all, he only carries some of her husband’s memories. And now, her memories are a part of him as well. He feels more strongly than ever before because of this he believes. Does he now possess a soul, he wonders? He knows about as much as anyone else does. That’ll have to be enough.

End.

Dedicated to the woman who gave me life as I just recently celebrated my 46th. birthday, my mother, Pamela Bowen-Metz. I love you, mom.

90s Comics, 90s DC, DC Comics, Uncategorized

Character Eradication (Part 2 of 3)

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Well, after a near-lethal bout with the flu, (At least that’s what it felt like!) your loyal Symbifan has returned with more 90’s DC Comics goodness! So sit back, grab a can of Surge and some 3D Doritos, and enjoy a trip back through time with the 2nd issue of “The Eradicator” miniseries from 1996!

The strange but beautiful woman welcomed him home. She welcomed him to Krypton! She speaks to him of her love for him, of how long she has waited for him. She tries to caress his face. Instinctively, he turns from this embrace. She turns, seemingly hurt. She then states that she understands his apprehension. He is corrupted after all. Though they are both programs, are they not meant to be happy? Programs? What does she mean by this? Meanwhile, in the Bronx, the police have arrived on scene to take statements of the destruction caused by the Eradicator to the Connors’ building. The police attempt to talk to Sarah, David’s soon-to-be ex-wife about the whole ordeal, but they are interrupted by the youngest child’s outburst. This wasn’t some supervillain attack, this was his father! Wasn’t it? Sarah comforts her upset and confused son. But as she does so, even she must wonder herself. (Are we all just gonna ignore the fact that her name’s Sarah Connor? Like from the sci-fi classic film, “The Terminator”?! Hahaha! Awesome! Simply awesome. God, I’m a nerd. Moving on…..)

The woman continues. She states that yes, they are programs, like this beautiful “Krypton” that they stand in at this very moment. She says how the ancient kryptonian, Kem-L, created him to house all that was once Krypton within his memory banks when he was but a simple computer that was discovered within a crashed and abandoned starship. She was created soon after to house all of Krypton’s vast mythologies. But he was also given the mission to eradicate all that would threaten Krypton. Hence his name. She was named Faora, after Kem-L’s beloved grandmother. (I think Faora lost in the Badass Name Contest. Just sayin’.) The Eradicator lashes out at his surroundings in anger and frustration with an energy blast! He quickly apologizes but flies off to clear his head. If he was no more than a program, was David Connor truly dead and gone? Is he really nothing but an echo of a human soul?

Faora follows him. She tells him that her intent was never to hurt him, but free him with the truth. He is a program that absorbs essences like information. This happened with his alien creator, the Cleric, next was Superman, and now David Conner. He is only the Eradicator. No more, no less. Just then, the voice from earlier once again invades his mind! It speaks of truths. But before the Eradicator can reply, Faora cries out in pain! She seems to faint and begin plummeting to the planet below! The Eradicator quickly comes to her rescue. Catching her, she looks into his confused red eyes and whispers how her energies are not what they once were. She will not function for much longer. Now panicked, he offers her some of his power to sustain her. She agrees that this seems possible. Then, without hesitation, he kisses her, passing his energy into her! (Gives the term “sparks fly” a whole new meaning with this kiss, huh? Seriously though, he’s married. For shame! Or is he? I’m so confused!)

Suddenly, Faora latches onto the Eradicator and holds him still while she begins sucking all of the power within him into herself! But before he perishes, he swings with a mighty fist, knocking her away from his weakened body! Rising from a crater, she tells the Eradicator how pathetic he is and how she only sought to free him of his corruption! (Jeez! Just because the guy doesn’t wanna suck face anymore? I tell ya, some women are just born crazy!) Again the Eradicator hears the voice. It tells him to see the madness in her words! That’s when the crystalline orbs above Faora’s pet creatures heads begin to reveal an image. Faora cries out in outrage and the orbs crash together!The voice becomes louder as it begins to explain itself.

The voice was of the true creator of the Eradicator device, the Cleric. His people were a people of peace and harmony and they lived happily until they began to run out of the resources they needed to live. So the Cleric created devices he called the All. These computer-like machines would absorb all of the knowledge of their homeworld and take it to the stars, in search of other worlds that the Cleric’s race could colonize. They were overjoyed when they found such a world. It was called Krypton. But the Kryptonians were less than hospitable to alien races! They rounded up the males, females, children, and even rebel members of their own race and burnt their bodies until nothing remained! One of their number, a man named Kem-L, seized the All and reprogrammed it to want to preserve all that made up Krypton and to protect its ways even if that meant killing. The All was renamed the Eradicator and all memory of this “Great Purge” was erased from Kryptonian history. (Whoa! Kryptonians sound like monsters! They even make comic book movie fans look tame!) The Eradicator dropped to his knees, defeated emotionally at last.

Looking up, he cried out in anguish that he’s a monster. But the voice of the Cleric denied this. He was created as a peaceful tool. Only the evil of Kem-L had corrupted him. He had no choice. Faora roared at the Cleric. He was twisting the truth! She was the only way to help his fractured mind. Only she knew the way. But the Eradicator had had enough. He blasted Faora away from him. He then rose and approached her fallen form. Did she not feel remorse? Regret? She replied in anger that she did not. Kem-L was right in what he did. He was right! He? That’s when the mask of illusion fell and Faora became his true self, Kem-L! (Ewww! Gross! The Eradicator frenched an old dude!) The Eradicator stood stunned! The realm around them then reveals a world of floating, charred bones! Kem-L stated that the Eradicator had somehow evolved past being a simple program. This wasn’t fair! Kem-L should be the one that’s a living, breathing being! He is the savior of the true Krypton after all! He will take the Eradicator’s power for himself and live once more!

The Eradicator tries to attack the madman, but using the power he has already absorbed, he reforms easily and begins to draw the very essence from the Eradicator! Suddenly, inspiration hits. The Eradicator shouts that if he wants what he has contained within his physical form so badly, then take only what Kem-L created! Take all of the pain, the rage, and the fear! Take all of it! He’s done holding it for him. Kem-L’s program explodes! The Cleric then appears. What is the Eradicator to do now, he asks. The Cleric replies that now that he knows the truth, he is free to do what he wishes. His heart is the key. The two embrace before the vision of the Cleric fades away. With newfound hope, the Eradicator looks to the Earth as it becomes visible through the program. He then flies off to begin his life anew. (Awww! That’s sweet. See, there’s hope out there even for a Kryptonian killing program. Maybe there’s hope for Earth politicians as well? Nah!)

But what’s this? It seems our tale isn’t over quite yet. Energy crackles inside the program world, drawing the bones together as a being is formed from them! Kem-L completes his new, monstrous body and vows aloud that he will have all of the Eradicator’s power yet! He will live again!

To be concluded…..

Dedicated to my unborn grandson/granddaughter! That’s right! Your loyal Symbifan is gonna officially be an even older fart! I’m gonna be a grandfather! Congratulations to my son, James Miller, and his girlfriend, Abby Slifer!

90s Comics, 90s DC, DC Comics, Uncategorized

A Superman Will Rise (part 2 of 2)

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Happy Holidays, Unspokenites! And welcome back to my look back at the Elseworlds epic from “Superman: The Man of Steel” Annual #3! I know it’s been awhile since part one dropped, but rest assured, your loyal Symbifan never forgot about you. So, that said, I present my gift to you all. Let us return to the conclusion of our story…..

Gotham City. The only place on Earth free of the Kryptonian ultranet and therefore free of the invaders’ supervision. But that didn’t stop them from trying. Presently, an ultranet command outpost had secretly been erected on the outskirts of this old, war-torn city. This had come to the attention of the Human Resistance. Now, armored humans from this secretive sect raised their devastating weapons and fired at the before-mentioned structure. Bazooka shells exploded upon impact at the building’s support beams, causing considerable damage. That is until the lead Resistance fighter is hit in the back by a strange, foam-like substance! The others turn to see Lex Luthor’s high-tech goons hovering close by! (Speaking of bazookas, who remembers when Bazooka Gum had actual comic strips in them? What about what now constitutes as a “prize” in a Cracker Jack box? This now concludes my rant about how I hate the internet. Now, back to my online blog…..)

That’s when a large, metal cable suddenly surrounds Luthor’s men! It then pulls taught and they’re all yanked off of their hovercrafts and into the air by a flying man garbed in red, blue, and gold, the colors of the Human Resistance! It was Kal-El! But he now went by the name that was stitched into the uniform that Batman had gifted him, Superman! (My name’s stitched into my undies. It’s so I don’t forget they’re mine and just how cool I am. Studly.) Superman sets his captives aside and unleashes his heat vision upon the various satellites atop the building! He then utilizes his superior strength to finish off the supports, toppling the entire structure! Swooping to the ground, he lands to check on the band of “renegade” humans’ leader. He is not exactly greeted with open arms.

The captain removes their helmet revealing a woman underneath. She not only doesn’t thank Superman, but states how his Kryptonian aid is not needed. Human beings will win their own planet back. And they’ll do it without the help of one of their oppressors. Her name is Lois Lane. She orders the others to retun to base. As they leave, Superman suddenly takes her into his powerful arms and rockets into the sky! Once they’re alone, her tone of voice changes drastically . She tells him how much she has grown to care for him since he saved her life a mere couple of months ago. Superman hold her tighter as he descends into an apartment building window. They kiss passionately as he carries her towards her bed. (The next part of this scene is rated “R” for graphic, off-panel sexual situations.)

But not all were pleased with this union. Jor-El looked on with the elders of the ill-fated Krypton with looks of revulsion and horror. Superman’s birth father then switched off his overhead monitor. He’d seen enough from the secret viewing device that was planted within Lois’ bedroom. (He watched his own son get busy?! Talk about sick! Not only that, but the old farts from the council watched too?! I think I’m gonna need therapy just from reading this!) The Council of Elders waste little time in proclaiming their verdict. As Kal-El was Jor-El’s son, this was his problem to resolve alone. After the Elders disappeared from view, Jor-El wasted no time in contacting Luthor. He demanded that the human resolve this issue immediately. Lex merely responded that Jor-El possessed the same exact powers as his son. Why not get his own hands dirty for once?

Kal-El awoke and dressed himself. He found Lois at her coffe table, pouring over numerous documents and blueprints. She remarked about the building that Batman had died trying to gain entrance to. The ultranet files on it were definitely incomplete. What was inside that was so important that Bruce would give his life for it? They decided to find out. Lois had heard of the infamous Batcave, so she gave Kal directions as they flew. Soon, they were inside the secret, technological marvel that was Bruce Wayne’s hidden sanctuary. They approached a large computer system and tried to gain access to the files they needed. Sadly, this was to no avail. Password required. Both were then surprised by the voice of a young man that seemed to materialize behind them. (Bruce left an orphan out. He really should take better care of his sidekicks.)

They questioned the youth, but the boy wouldn’t even give his name. All he would say is that he and Bruce had worked together in the past. He did admit that even he didn’t know Bruce’s password. Kal was then struck with inspiration. Wasn’t it rumored that Batman once had a trusted butler? Lois gave Kal a more human name to go by for this next step. She named him after the cigarette brand she used to smoke, Clark. (I smoke Aunt May’s personally. Remember kids, with the act of smoking comes great responsibility.) He added the last name of his beloved foster parents to that and Clark Kent was born. The couple then dresses accordingly and makes their way to a nearby retirement home. It didn’t take long into the conversation to come to the realization that this old man, Alfred, was hopelessly senile. But presented with the name to the building in question, he said one word that struck Clark Kent like a fist, “plague.”

Superman set Lois gently down on her feet in her apartment upon their return. He looked shaken. When questioned, he told her of a genetic flaw that plagued his people. A flaw that was a leftover from Krypton’s Clone Wars. (I wonder if that villainous Emperor Palpatine was up to his old tricks against the Jedi? Yeah. I know. You all saw a Star Wars joke coming. Have I become that predictable? Sigh…..) It was almost as if their very planet wanted them all dead. Being born here, Kal-El was immune. And now that Clark knew what that building contained, he knew what he must do. Come morning, he would break into this complex and release this plague upon the world. It wouldn’t take long before he was the last remaining Kryptonian on Earth. Lois tried to comfort him throughout the night. But when she awakens the next the morning, Clark is gone.

Panicked, Lois grabs for her phone. Surprisingly, the man that answers on the other end is none other than Lex Luthor! Lois begins by telling Lex that the plan has gone awry. Luthor replies that if anything has gone awry with their plan, it’s that she’s letting her feelings for this alien cloud her judgement. Ignoring this, she reports that Kal-El is gone. Before Lois can continue, Jor-El bursts in through her front door! Terrified, Lois goes for her gun, but using his heat vision, he melts the weapon! Grabbing her up by the throat, he demands to know his son’s whereabouts. Lex answers through a planted spy device that he’s pleased to see Jor-El finally lifting a finger himself. What’s his next move? Jor-El looks to the device’s screen with obvious rage and replies that he’s bringing his son home, no matter the cost! The screen goes dead, leaving Lex Luthor to ponder if he has just overplayed his hand. (This place has more bugs than a roach motel! Am I right, folks?)

Clark sat at the Kents’ dinner table in Kansas. After his adoptive father returned from tending to the fields, Clark rose to his feet and asked both of the people that had raised and cared for him if he could keep the Kent name. Of course they were overjoyed. He then asked for their advice. If he were to release this plague, Earth would be free. But he would have committed mass-genocide upon his own people. What should he do? Before much could be said, a voice from the doorway spoke. It was Lex! He was sorry to interrupt, but there was a situation….. (Is it me, or is Luthor in almost every scene, working every single angle in this issue? I don’t know how he keeps track of which side he’s on at the moment! No wonder he was elected President of the United States in later storylines!)

Superman rocketed through the skies at top speed! When he reached Gotham City, his fears were confirmed. Jor-El had gone mad! He was hovering above the people with a large vehicle raised over his head as a weapon, firing heat vision down at the screaming crowds! He demanded he see his son right now! Superman rams his shoulder into his father’s ribcage with all of his might, sending the crazed Kryptonian flying! He then catches the plummeting vehicle and sets it down on the street carefully. But this action took far too long! Seeing his chance, Jor-El blasts his son off of his feet with a full blast of heat vision! (It’s definitely on now! I don’t see a Father’s Day card in Jor-El’s future! Maybe a tie, but that’s a given.)

The battle then takes to the skies! Back and forth fists are thrown that could topple mountains! But Jor-El simply doesn’t have the fighting experience that his son does. Superman throws him through a nearby water tower. And before he can fully get back to his feet, Clark unleashes the fullest extent of his heat vision! Jor-El falls, unconscious at last! Superman arrived at the building in question in a flash. He punched through the thick steel of the wall and flew in. Lex Luthor sat nonchalantly in a lawn chair on the other side! In his hand was a drink with a little umbrella leaning lazily inside. Superman went for the proper panel to release the plague. Nothing. Luthor had rewritten the circuit board! (Does anyone get what side this guy’s on? I feel like I’m trying to do algebra here!)

Lex explained that the Kryptonian race, though arrogant, didn’t deserve to die. Kal could teach them a better way. Tired of Luthor’s numerous head games, Superman grabbed him up by his armor and smashed him through several floors of the building! He demanded that Lex fix the panel. Luthor’s reply was a blast of green energy from a cavity within the armor’s chest! As he stood up, he grabbed an large iron bar. He explained that Jor-El had equipped him with a weapon powered by a small rock called Kryptonite. He then finished by gleefully striking the hero again and again with the weapon! Kal stirred to rise, but Lex revealed a large chunk of rock within his armor! It seems that Luthor wasn’t content to simply subdue Superman, he was going to kill him! But as he raised the bar for a final strike, he was shot from behind! Lois Lane stood with a smoking energy rifle! (Now she’s on Superman’s side?! Anyone have a scorecard I can look over?)

Luthor lies there demanding to know why. Her only reply as she helped Superman to his feet was that she loved him. Not to be defeated yet, Lex’s armor shot out several blasts of energy! Unfortunately for him, he missed his intended targets. He did however hit the weakened support beams above him! A large chunk of the complex came crashing down upon him. It was over. Superman never did use the deadly Kryptonian plague. Instead, he began work on teaching them a better way. Luthor was right after all. Speaking of Lex Luthor, though badly injured, he managed to survive too. As Superman raised the new flag of humanity atop a large building, he looked down to see a strange black car race by below. Batman sat within with a familiar youngster dressed in a colorful costume. Batman slowed the Batmobile long enough to smile at Superman and say, “Welcome to the party, pal.” (Batman survived too?! I feel like my brain just turned to jelly! This comic had more twists and turns than a “Pirates of the Caribbean” flick! Jack Sparrow 4-Life, y’all!) Superman smiled back and flew onwards. Batman was right. The fight had only just begun.

End.