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90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Let the Punishment Fit the Symbiote

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What happens when you mix two of comicdom’s most badass characters into one being? I don’t know. These never mixed Ambush Bug and Spider-Ham to my knowledge. But when they do, I’ll be the first in line to buy that bad boy! But this story’s about the Punisher if he wore the living costume, Venom, instead of Eddie Brock. (I know. I’m sad now too.) Enjoy, Unspokenites…..sob…..as we look back at “What If…?” #44. This particular issue poses the interesting question: “What if Venom Had Posessed the Punisher?”

The Punisher takes a break from his personal war to enter Our Lady of Saints church. He lights a candle out of respect for his wife and children that were slaughtered so long ago. The pain never seemed to fade. As he does this, he recalls spying Spider-Man swinging overhead as he’d entered. He thought back over how many times that the Wall-Crawler had interrupted and ruined his missions in his career as a lethal vigilante. Perhaps it was these very thoughts that made the “shadows” in the bell tower slowly stir. The darkness then sprang to the praying form of Frank Castle, enveloping him completely in inky blackness! He springs to his feet and leaves this place of worship. He enters an alleyway and, as the black substance begins to flow, the Punisher suddenly realizes that he’s in control of it! (Yeah. Frank Castle seems amused by this sudden intrusion to his very body. Anyone else would pee themselves and faint. You’ve gotta respect the Punisher. Tough bladder on that guy.)

Later, as the Punisher’s friend and ally, Microchip, begins researching what this strange new suit is and where it came from, Frank decides to take it on a little test run. He’s amazed by how it alters itself to look like different people as it changes the look of the clothes it creates. (People wearing symbiotes need to wear underwear. There. I’ve said it. So wrong!) This allows the Punisher to walk straight through a crowd, in broad daylight, to his intended target. He asks the man from behind if he’s the correct person. Annoyed, the target turns. But before he can open his mouth to complain, the Punisher lists off the man’s many crimes as he shape-shifts into his preferred form before the criminals widening eyes! The mobster tries to dissuade what’s coming next with lying words, but to no avail. Black fingertip claws cut through his terrified form before he can utter a complete sentence! The two goons on either side of the cooling corpse grab for their guns reflexively, not yet aware that their employer is no more! Punisher webs their guns and torsos up in a flash. Frank is disgusted by the webbing. Too Spider-Man like for his taste. He concentrates and bullet-like projectiles fire from his arms! Punisher smiles a fanged grin. Much better. He mows down the two others and makes a hasty escape!

Assuming that this new costume must be nothing more than a battle suit created by S.H.I.E.L.D. or something, Frank doesn’t worry too much as he continues his one man war against crime. But as he does so, he becomes more brutal and vicious against his prey. Not only does he barely notice, if he does, he doesn’t care. One day, as Spider-Man swings by, an old woman screams as he passes overhead. Confused, he stops and asks her why. She looks to his similar black costume with white symbol on the chest for a moment before answering in relief. She had thought that he was the Punisher. Spidey looks to his own costume and wonders about the matching alien costume that he had been forced to lead into a deadly trap within a church bell tower not so long ago. Blocks from this, Daredevil corners two thugs in Hell’s Kitchen but stops as the Punisher leaps by, from rooftop to rooftop. His superior senses pick up that somthing is amiss. He vows to look into it later. Frank returns to his lair and nods off. Exhausted. But the costume is far from tired. (See! Do you really want to wear something like this with no undees on underneath?)

Microchip bursts into the room. He begins telling Frank that he’s only been able to find scattered reports of Spider-Man being present at that church the night in question. He thinks that the Fantastic Four may have more info, but has been unable to crack their systems. (Well, duh. Stay in your pay grade there, Micro. That’s the big boys you’re messing with. Hell, Reed’s electric toothbrush is more advanced that your entire computer system I’d wager.) The Punisher silently stands, grabs Microchip by the face, and slams his head into the wall, leaving the poor man unconscious. The symbiote then strolls from the room, a sleeping Frank Castle safe within it’s protective shell! It laughs softly as it leaves the hideout. Moments later, Spidey investigates the bell tower in question. Unsatisfied, he turns to go. But that’s when he’s jumped by the symbiote! The fight lasts for nearly an hour. And all the while, the symbiote stays silent as it beats Spider-Man within an inch of his life! After pulling the hero from a brick wall, it raises the Wall-Crawler for a killing blow! Just then, Castle awakens! He quickly orders the alien to halt. Spider-Man may be a nuisance, but he’s not the enemy. It drops him and the Punisher leaps away. Spider-Man whispers to himself that he’s going to need some help against this foe.

Spider-Man arrives not too long after at the headquarters of the Fantastic Four. And though Mr. Fantastic isn’t there, the Thing is more than happy to help. Not only does the rock colossus lend out a sonic rifle, he gives Spidey a bit of advice. If he’s being mistaken for his enemy, maybe it’s time for a costume change. Spidey leaves with a plan forming in his mind. (Wow! The Thing had just gave out some good advice. Pretty smart for a dude that has to have rocks in his head…..literally. Bad joke. I apologize.) Meanwhile, Castle awakens only to be confronted by a frightened Microchip about striking him earlier that night. Frank remembers nothing of this and grows agitated. The symbiote covers his face as he leaves, stating he has work to do. He grows inky wings and hovers, in broad daylight, towards the home office of the Kingpin. He’d heard a man, named Tombstone, had recently begun work there and the Punisher means to introduce himself the hard way! Battling his way through the lower levels, he soon finds his prey. Tombstone tries to run, but too late! The Punisher grabs him and tears his head off with his massive fanged mouth! But why stop there? He begins to make his way to the top floor, to the office of the Kingpin himself!

The Punisher arrives in the private office of the nefarious Kingpin. But the large man just dismisses him and sends in Typhoid Mary to defend him! But who else is fighting for his life? Daredevil aids Mary in the fight! Not quite. He states that he’s only here to put a stop to all of this brutal killing. But this only serves to enrage Castle further as he fires upon hero an villain alike! But as this fight continues, neither combatant notices a small strand of symbiotic tendril snake it’s way to the Kingpin across the floor! Castle then leaps from the window, leaving Daredevil and Typhoid Mary alone with a very dead Wilson Fisk! (Damn! Can you imagine the thunderous sound of a guy that big falling dead to the floor above your apartment? I’d complain to the landlord. Wait. He probably was the landlord. Never mind.) The Punisher didn’t return home that night. There was more killing to do.

The next night, the Punisher returned to the place where this all began, Our Lady of Saints. But he wasn’t alone. Spider-Man, Daredevil, and Moon Knight awaited him! The heroes tried to talk reason, but their words fell upon deaf ears! Frank Castle sprang at the trio! The symbiote was now in complete control! And what it saw was it’s enemy, Spider-Man, with new allies to hurt it! The assembled heroes tried their best. But the symbiote was way to strong and skilled for them! As it knocked them all aside, it spied the bell tower! Remembering it’s past pain in this place, it sends several tendrils around the tower and crushed the entire structure with ease! As it smiled with glee at its destruction, Spidey tore free a concealed, webbed up sonic rifle! Wasting no time, the Wall-Crawler fires point blank! The intense sound tore at the symbiote as it roared in anguish! But it didn’t tear free of Frank Castle! The two were bonded! The Punisher looked to Spider-Man and thanked him. He then pulled a sidearm and quickly fired at the sonic rifle, destroying it! (Anyone else confused? Thought so. You see, not only is Frank Castle a complex character, but the symbiote is really, really pissy. Better?)

Frank Castle stood there then, staring blankly, as if he were in a deep trance. And truth be told, he was. He imagined himself back in the Vietnam War and forward to more recent days. And as this dream progressed, he was hunted by a fanged shadow. The symbiote. Frank knew now what it was and that it was trying to assume complete control! Not on his watch! It was then that Castle made the alien know who was boss mentally. He made a deal with it. If the creature obeyed his commands without question, he’d let it live. A single moment passed. The Punisher awoke. He looked to the other vigilantes and said that it was all over. The symbiote worked for him now! And before they could question his words more that a little, the Punisher grew black, leathery wings and flew off. He knew that he’d won this day. He was confident in that. The other heroes would just have to deal with that fact and accept him at his word. Otherwise, if they wanted to pursue him, he’d be waiting. And hell would be waiting with him.

End.

Dedicated to my son, James Christian Miller, who has proven himself to be more of a superhero than any character I’ve ever read about. I love you.

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Ghost in the Machine (part 4 of 4)

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Apologies for the tardiness on this last part of my Death’s Head II series. I’ve been spending some time with my son and his daughter as of late, doing my fatherly/grandfatherly duties. The visit lasted around four days, and I can tell you Unspokenites one thing about my granddaughter…..Banshee and Black Canary have nothing on a pissed off one year old! Damn! That girl has some pipes! (The only difference is a slight height difference and a pee-soaked diaper!) Anyway, explanations aside, let us return to our favorite cyborg, already in action…..

It is the year 2020 AD and the world is a war-torn, desolate place. Only a very small group of freedom fighters stand in the path of the one who corrupted this planet to the state it’s currently in. The Punisher leads the charge with Daredevil, Spider-Man and Doctor Strange following. In the past, this unlikely team would be more than enough to best any evil foe. Now? The odds don’t look very good. Charnel’s demonic drones surrounded the heroes! But twenty years of constant fighting had taught them how to hit back even harder. Back-to-back, the heroes fired at the creatures. The fight was going well until Spider-Man’s spider-sense went wild, warning him of danger! The evil warlord, Charnel, now stood before them! The monster began by taunting the heroes. But this meant nothing to the Sorcerer Supreme as he hit the creature with magic blast after blast! Charnel laughed as he used his own magic power to meet this mighty attack! Daredevil orders Spider-Man to swing off, following their plan! The wall-crawler does so with zero hesitation! That’s when a an energy blast of epic proportions hit the ground surrounding them! The Punisher turned to see his once-rival, Daredevil, drop and breathe no more! (Damn! Bleak much? Let’s stop here to sing a rousing battle song for our brave, fighting heroes. Who knows the words to Hansen’s “MmmBop”? Don’t lie.)

Enraged, the Punisher pulled Daredevil’s corpse to him and fired straight at the enemy as he roared in defiance! The next to fall was Doctor Strange. Charnel pushed his own powers back at him along with his own, atomizing the mage! The Punisher looked defeated. That was until he saw Spider-Man swinging up behind the villain! He carried a small, metallic disc with him. Spidey threw it to Punisher just before Charnel murdered him too! The beast demanded that Frank Castle give the device to him immediately! Instead, he threw the disc some distance where it was out of the madmans’ reach! The Punisher pulled a blade and charged Charnel! That was his last stand. (Poor Punisher. He died like he wanted to, though. Trying to knife a dude that just shrugged off the strongest attacks from the godlike Doctor Strange…..Duh, Frank!) Charnel takes his leave of the massacre minutes later. A large hand uncovers the disc minutes after that and takes it to his heroic friends and fellow soldiers. He was once a supervillain called the Rhino. But war makes for strange bedfellows and he was now an Avenger. Rhino waited to be let into the secret bunker of what remained of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Wolverine let the hulking man in, asking if he had the device. Rhino assured the mutant that it was right where they he was told to find it. Wolverine asked about the other heroes. The Rhino looked down, giving his reply without words.

Rhino came to stand with his arm around She-Hulk. The others surrounding the meeting table were the Scarlet Witch, Captain America, and an orb that held a fleshy blob that was once the leader of the Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic. That was before Charnel punished the scientist with his dark sorcery! Wolverine came to a halt to stand by the others as the meeting began. The plan was a simple one as plans went. The disc was a time travel device. Using it, some of them would travel to 1992, the time that Charnel was born, and end him. If all went well, this nightmarish time period would cease to exist! Mr. Fantastic wished the superheroes his best as the battle cry was given, “Avengers, assemble.” And with those rousing words, (Much better than “MmmBop.”) the group teleported backwards through time! Meanwhile, in 1992, Death’s Head stood with Dr. Evelyn Necker and Tuck as they scanned their surroundings. Once, this was a busy shopping mall. That was before a mysterious fire burned it to the ground and A.I.M. purchased the land dirt cheap. They were currently looking for the creature that had already converted one A.I.M. headquarters into a place of literal nightmares. But before they could get much of a feel for the barren area, Death’s Head was suddenly jumped from behind by the Wolverine of 2020! The mutant sliced through the cyborg’s back and out of his stomach area with his razor-sharp, unbreakable claws!

Death’s Head formed a high-tech cannon out of his liquid metal arm to retaliate, but Logan rammed his claws to a space by the barrel to stop it from firing! The result was one of Wolverine’s adamantium claws snapping completely off! (Unbreakable metal my amazing butt! What? I’ll have you know that I used to have quite the tight little derriere back in the day. Umm…..moving on whilst blushing profusely……) Logan stalled only momentarily before moving to strike once more! That was when Captain America’s commanding voice rang out to halt his attack. This creature wasn’t Charnel. The Avengers and Death’s Head’s group spend the next few minutes explaining who they are and describing their missions. As it seems that both teams want this Charnel creature dead, an alliance is formed. Good thing too. Because that was when Charnel chose to arrive! The first thing he did was take down the Scarlet Witch. She-Hulk leaped to attack next! She was caught in massive hands, her powerful neck broken quickly! Rhino charged the monstrous Charnel next! But the brute was only backhanded away like he was no more than a mere insect! Captain America’s body broke the titan’s fall! Death’s Head ran towards his enemy with a charging weapon/arm, but the cyborg missed his energy shot only to be hit by dark magical energies!

Wolverine leaped into Charnel’s waiting, clawed hands, slashing wildly as Captain America threw his iconic shield! The weapon cut off the villain’s arm, forcing him to drop Wolverine! Death’s Head then reemerged on the battlefield and joined Wolverine and Captain America in their brutal fight! Rhino shook what remained of the cobwebs from his head and charged Charnel once again! That’s when Tuck noticed someone else trying to stand in the rubble! Dodging the fight, she found the very much alive form of the Scarlet Witch! Tuck helped her stand as she hit the madman with everything she had! But big mistake! Charnel absorbed her strange, magical energies and merged them with his own!He then unleashed a wave of power that incinerated Cap, Logan, and Rhino as he grew to the size of a true titan! As the beast cackled, Death’s Head whispered a battle plan into the Witch’s ear. He then roared for Charnel to face him! The villain, amused, complied. Death’s Head leaped onto Charnel’s large form and yelled down that the moment was now! The Scarlet Witch blasted the time disc within Death’s Head’s hands, duplicating it! The cyborg then placed a device on either side of the monster’s body, activating both discs simultaneously! Charnel quite literally ripped in half as the cybernetic hero fell to the rubble beneath! (Yeah. I’m as confused as you are. But that action scene…..shall we say…..excited me?)

When questioned by Dr. Necker, Death’s Head answered that he had sent both halves of Charnel to completely different time periods! The result was an agonizing death! The Scarlet Witch merely smiled as she simply ceased to be. The cyborg then continued that Charnel was Necker’s fault in a way. Perhaps she should think better of it before acting like God in the future. As for the money she had promised him? He doubted she’d ever have payed it. He then turned to leave, the loyal Tuck beside him. Moments later, the superheroes from this period in time arrived to see what was causing their advanced instruments to go haywire as they registered the recent, epic battle. They only found reports of a stolen semi truck speeding from the area. Death’s Head and Tuck raced away in the large vehicle, ready for whatever adventure might find them next!

End.

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Ghost in the Machine (part 3 of 4)

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Welcome back, fellow Unspokenites to part three of my look back at Marvel’s “Death’s Head II” miniseries! So, what’re your thoughts on the story so far? I’d really enjoy your comments. When we last left our “hero”, Minion/Death’s Head had found a loophole out of assassinating poor Mr. Fantastic, and then moved on to a time and place unknown to us. So, let’s get back to our boy. Shall we? (Like you had a choice! Ha! Please don’t go away…..whimper.)

The year is 3442 AD. (Though you wouldn’t know it with all of the medieval-y crap all around. Savages.) Led by an enormous, lizard-like beast that pulled the first wagon, a caravan made it’s way very carefully through the dense forest. The people looked around nervously. You see, thieves were known to inhabit these particular woods. Led by their fearless leader, the mysterious Hood, they were relentless! Suddenly, as if summoned by their fears, the Hood and his men burst from the foliage, ready to do battle! He raised his sword/arm menacingly and demanded that those in the caravan relinquish their riches to them immediately! They are met with fierce resistance as the riders pull weapons of their own! During the skirmish, one of the riders pleads with the Hood to leave them be. The Holy Sisters are aboard one of the wagons and may be harmed. But before the Hood can speak, these so-called women of a higher power burst free of their vehicle, blades and crossbows at the ready!

(I’m gonna have nightmares! Badass nuns armed with weapons? Isn’t that every man’s deepest, darkest fear? Shudder.) Now the battle truly begins! It’s during this madness, that one of the nuns raises her crossbow, aiming at the Hood’s head! Unaware, he continues fighting others in the caravan party! But before she can fire a shot, she’s run through from behind by a young red-headed woman in blue warpaint! The battle ends soon after. As prisoners are taken and loot is collected, the woman introduces herself as Tuck and she wishes to join the Hood’s group. The Hood asks why. Tuck doesn’t mince words. This planet is corrupt and only this band of outlaws seem to be fighting back against the oppression. The Hood replies that every one of his men is a cyborg and therefore their very existence is illegal by the planet-wide ban on technology. Himself included. His name is actually Death’s Head and he hails from the year 2020. Tuck then surprises the cyborg as she admits that she herself is a completely synthetic being! Death’s Head pauses. He then orders Tuck to grab some loot and follow the others.

Back in the New York of 2020, Baron Strucker admires the remains of the original Death’s Head cyborg’s corpse as it hangs within his dingy lab. He then orders Spratt to collect for him some items in the far corner of the room. Against his will, Spratt complies. He does fight his fear long enough of this Baron to ask what the items he’s lifting are. Strucker replies that they are occult artifacts and not to worry. He has the situation of rebuilding Spratt’s robotic partner completely in hand! (Off subject a bit here, but why did they call him “Hood” anyway if he had no hood? Ponder that as you try to rest tonight.) Meanwhile, in 3442, the King’s brother stands within the throne room, entertaining the masses with tales of his supposed adventures. He looks to one of the new women that has recently been added to his growing harem and caresses a curl of her red hair as he asks if she is impressed. She admits that she is, though she would like to hear more of this outlaw, the Hood. That’s when a surviving member of the attacked caravan bursts into the room! He kneels shakily as he recounts his tale. The King’s brother is understandably distressed. He orders for Major Oak and his men to be brought to him immediately!

As the King’s brother awaited Major Oak, he looked back to the ravishing redhead and asked her given name. She replied, Evelyn Necker. Later, back at the outlaws’ camp, Death’s Head recounted his strange history to Tuck over a roaring fire, surrounded by a starry sky. She sat speechless as she took in every word. He finished his story by admitting that he’d been in this time period for a year so far. But before Tuck could say a thing in return, Major Oak and his army of soldiers lept from their concealed positions and savagely attacked Death’s Head’s band of cyborg rogues! (Dude! Check out Major Oak’s hairstyle in the pic above! Hahaha! Weirdo! God, I miss having long hair. Great. Now I’m sad.) The bloody battle raged back and forth, ending with the surprising sound of a lazer rifle! As all superior technology was outlawed in this time, both groups of combatants were shocked badly enough to halt all hostilities immediately and turn towards the sound! Dr. Evelyn Necker sat upon the King’s cat-like steed, holding a smoking, futuristic gun nearly as big as her entire arm! The land’s corrupt ruler lie unconscious at her feet! She looked to Death’s Head and, with a commanding tone, demanded the cyborg return to 2020 with her!

But as she finishes this sentence, she is stopped from continuing by the sword pressed to her throat! Death’s Head approaches Necker, amused. He introduces Tuck as the young lady lowers her weapon. The cyborg then tells the doctor that, as he’s now his own man, he won’t be returning. Inspiration suddenly hits Dr. Necker. She begins to negotiate a price for his aid instead. Taking the bait easily, he negotiates back until a large sum of money is agreed upon. Tuck refuses to leave his side and so is added to the deal as a new partner of sorts to the cyborg. The trio teleport back through time together. (Two sexy redheads for the price of one? Must be awesome to be a hideous cyborg monstrosity, huh?) In 2020, the Baron speaks of how his grandfather created A.I.M. during the second World War only to have his creation turn its back on him. Now, he will have revenge for his entire family line. Spratt quakes with fear as the Baron turns, revealing his new hideous image! He then murders the fleeing sidekick as he proclaims himself now to be called Charnel! (I know I’m supposed to be repulsed, but how sweet does this guy look?!) Death’s Head and the two ladies appear a short time later. What they witness at the 2020 A.I.M. headquarters, is the stuff of nightmares! Necker had seen something like this once before. Using magic and technology together, someone was attempting to un-create A.I.M., stopping the birth of the Minion cyborg as a result!

To be concluded…..

Dedicated to my granddaughter, Lillian Grace Miller, for her first birthday! Grandpa loves you, sweetheart!