Tag Archives: Superman

90s Comics, 90s DC, DC Comics, Uncategorized

To Steal Fire from the Gods: The Birth of Prometheus

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His name was Prometheus and he defeated the Justice League. And not the League with Guy Gardner, Blue Beetle, and Booster Gold. No. I’m talking about the League with Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman! That’s right. “The Big Guns”! And not only was this villain a mere human, this was his very first appearance! Let that sink in. Anyway, to say that my teenaged mind was blown away when I read this, was an understatement. But how did this badass, mystery villain come to be? (Awww! Thank you for asking! -Flutters eyelashes- ) That’s what I’m here today to discuss. So, without further ado, let us begin with “New Year’s Evil: Prometheus”…..

The man in the strange helmet spoke of his beginning to the other man. He spoke of how his parents were what would commonly be called hippies. But not your average, peaceful hippies. This couple thrived on crime. And not only that, they took their young son with them on their jobs from the time he was a baby. (Someone call the Department of Human Servic…..oh…..never mind. They have him strapped in a car seat on their hight-speed shootout with the police. It’s cool.) They murdered and robbed their way across the country and the boy grew up to believe that not only were his parents loving and right in what they did, those who opposed them were wrong. Justice was a bad thing. Things went on this way for several years until the law finally caught up with the happy little family. Surrounded by more police than the boy could count, his already injured parents opened fire! They were mowed down in a barrage of bullets! The boy’s hair turned white that day. That was also the day he knew true hatred.

The man paused in the telling of his origin story to look at the other man. He was dressed in a typical, superhero costume. This made total sense in the current situation. He called himself Retro. The one talking called himself Prometheus. Retro was impressed with Prometheus’ story so far. He hadn’t been aware that there would be someone here playing the part of a faux supervillain as this Prometheus so obviously was. Retro asked what “Prometheus” meant. The other man smiled and answered simply. It was a name from Greek Mythology. Prometheus stole fire from the gods. But before Retro cold question him further, he was asked about his own codename. Retro answered proudly and with his hands on his hips in a true, heroic pose. He said that rays from the past made him into a hero today. Hence, “Retro”. (Nerd! Well, I guess there have been lamer superhero origin stories. Cough. Cough. -Clears throat and whispers…..Superman.-) Retro then added in a quieter tone that that was the origin he’d invented for himself when he won the contest to meet the real Justice League on their Moon base and pretend to be a superhero for a day. A suddenly nervous Retro asked more of Prometheus’ tale.

The boy made a decision that night. A vow. He would destroy the forces of justice. The first thing he did was dig up his parents’ secret stash. The fortune was considerable as they saved every stolen penny. Next, he went to the local crime boss and blackmailed him into helping him gain a new identity. The boy then flew aboard a private jet to learn everything he would need to know to make his dream a reality. He learned everything that books could teach him. Next, he learned the best ways to murder a foe. (Sounds like a slightly less psychotic Batman.) Next, he ventured to Tibet to find the mythical kingdom of evil, Shamballa. And find it he did! After a year of living there, the Lama himself invited the boy to join him deeper underground. It was there that he first saw the door to Shamballa. It somewhat resembled an alien craft that had crash-landed within the Earth eons ago. Outside the craft was a simpler door. Removing a strange key of sorts from his robes, the Lama unlocked it. Inside, it was completely different. A Void! Killing the Lama with a spear, the “holy” man reverted into a dying, alien form! Prometheus kept the key. He then showed it to Retro. A clicking noise was then heard everywhere at once! A second later, they were within a crooked house, floating within the nothingness of the Void! A crooked house for a crooked man.

It was now that Retro began to feel a bit uneasy. (Now?! It took until now to begin to feel like things are a little off with this Prometheus? Me thinks ol’ Retro is a bit on the “duh” side. Thoughts?) Retro hits Prometheus with a quick barrage of questions, but the helmeted man simply ignores the other’s frantic words. He continues that once he made it back to the United States, he thought perhaps he’d begin his reign of terror by blowing up the Supreme Court. But then he passed before a poster that presented pictures of the newest incarnation of the Justice League of America. That’s when inspiration hit. Retro asked if Prometheus really thought he could defeat this new JLA. Seriously, he wouldn’t stand a chance. Prometheus looked amused at this. But what if the JLA was foolish to hold a contest that allowed a wannabe superhero to enter their Moon base and get close to them? And what if they had no idea what the winner actually looked like? Further, what if Prometheus’ high-tech helmet had been recording this winner for this entire conversation, down to his very mannerisms? They’d be in real trouble, wouldn’t they? That’s when the key disintegrated Retro completely!

“Retro” then shifted back to normal reality. He left the building he’d been sitting in behind him, dressed in his superhero costume. He apologized to the press for his delay. He’d been rehearsing his origin story. He then prepared to be teleported onto the JLA’s Moon base. And to enter history.

End.

90s Comics, 90s DC, DC Comics, Uncategorized

Frag it! We’re Doin’ Lobo! (part 2 of 4)

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Welcome back, Legions of the Unspoken! I apologize for the delay in getting part two of this series out to you. I know you’ve all been dying for the sequel. So, without further ado, I give you the Main Man himself…..

At the moment, Lobo stands outside of his door at the seediest motel in the worst part of the galaxy. He looks down at a small, yellow humanoid that he calls Gus. He warns Gus that his prisoner is within the room and that she’s to remain there while he makes a quick call. If all doesn’t go to plan, poor Gus will suffer for it. Oddly enough, Gus agrees with a smile. Lobo walks past him and locates the nearest communication device. He rings the bell at the front desk impatiently. The clerk appears shortly with an attitude. Seconds later, Lobo uses the communicator with the rude clerk’s blood still drying on his fists! (Let’s take this moment to appreciate Lobo’s act of mercy here. His calming meditation classes are really paying off! After all, he didn’t torture the guy before gutting him.)

Within moments, the Main Man is patched through to Vril Dox at L.E.G.I.O.N headquarters. Lobo complains about having to constantly check in on this god-awful mission. This is ignored while Dox repeats once again that the prisoner is to remain alive. He then terminates the call. Lobo suddenly spies an angry man standing next to him. The man complains that others need to use the phone too. Lobo walks away a moment later, fresh blood dripping from his hook. (Okay. So maybe the classes aren’t working that splendidly.) He returns to his room only to see that Gus is no longer standing guard outside! Lobo kicks in the door and scans the room. Empty! Cursing, he heads out in search of the foolish duo. Meanwhile, on Oneida VI, the local law enforcement agency plan the Last Czarnian’s demise for his recent murder of one of their officers! At that precise moment, the thugs from the diner the night before plot their own revenge as they search for Lobo and his elderly prisoner as well!

Following their trail, he locates them at a nearby ballet! Grumbling, Lobo enters the audience. Looking down from a higher vantage point, he spy’s them in the crowd. Lobo yells downwards at the unlikely pair but his voice is drowned out. Gus looks to Miss Tribb and exclaims how excited he is for Lobo to arrive. He had no idea that he liked dancing so much until the former school teacher told him so. (Fool! The old lady’s playing you, Gus! Let’s have a preemptive moment of silence for poor old Gus.) The ballet begins with automatic machine gun fire and heads being lopped off by chainsaws! Miss Tribb exclaims that she had no idea that this show was going to be so violent. Lobo stops to admire the carnage on stage before dropping from the balcony! He lands right atop Gus’s small form, crushing the smaller being to paste! (No! Gusssss!!!) Lobo grabs Tribb by the hair and begins to drag her through the crowd. That’s when he notices the audience cheering him!

Lobo ignores all of this, however. That is until a single bullet whizzes by his ear! He turns slowly and sees that the performers on stage are aiming their many weapons right at him! They’re actually angry that they’ve just been upstaged! Lobo pushes Miss Tribb away and approaches the angry dancers. What happens next is pure, unhinged violence at its best. The dancers attack the Main Man with everything they’ve got, but using just his hook, Lobo stands triumphant at the end! A pile of mangled performer corpses lies piled hehind him as he walks away, Miss Tribb thrown over his shoulder! (You don’t mess with stage nerds. They always be packin’!) The audience applauds as he strolls out of the theatre, a grin on his face. Elsewhere, the Sons of Lobo biker gang have overheard the diner ruffians discuss harming their idol! They fly off in search of the coming bloodbath. In a different sector of space, the police are waiting for Lobo to pass by them themselves. As the last factions prepare, the angry grannies approach the same spot within their titanic warship!

Later, Lobo and Miss Tribb fly through space upon Lobo’s space hawg. Tribb’s legs seem to be amputated! She scolds the Main Man for overreacting and states that she’ll just regenerate her missing limbs. Lobo replies that at least she can’t run off for a little while. Back at L.E.G.I.O.N headquarters, Vril Dox stares at a large viewing screen that shows all of the converging parties with Lobo right in the middle! He smiles as he whispers that everything’s going exactly to plan!

To be continued…..

90s Comics, 90s DC, DC Comics, Uncategorized

Character Eradication (part 3 of 3)

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Well, here we are. The end of the Eradicator miniseries. I hope you’ve enjoyed his journey to discover himself as much as I have. Like I said in the first part of this series, the Eradicator character has been a creature of constant change from his very beginning. That used to annoy me truthfully. But now? I see him as a mirror for life. Aren’t we as human beings always recreating ourselves? Changing. Maybe that makes the Eradicator more human than I thought. Maybe. (Way too deep. I need a joke here. Please insert a fart noise at this point as you read. Thank you.) Now, sit back and enjoy my look back at “Eradicator” #3…..

The grotesque creature that thinks itself a type of reincarnation of the dead kryptonian scientist, Kem-L, bursts into our world over the freezing waters of the Antarctic! It delights in the sensations that its new form can feel. But suddenly, the creature feels intense pain! It is not yet complete. For that, it will need the full power of the one called the Eradicator. Kem-L knows where to go on this planet to get his attention too. He flies off with a sinister new purpose! Meanwhile, the Eradicator hovers over the vast Pacific Ocean. He is deep in thought when the person he’s been waiting for arrives at last. Superboy gives him a happy greeting, the small white dog, Krypto, held protectively in his arms. (Is it me, or does the bad guy somewhat resemble the trash after a night of chowing down on some delicious KFC? Ha! Just try and get that image out of your heads!)

The Eradicator asks if the rest of the Superman Family will be arriving soon. Superboy replies that the others were just too busy to come. It’d just be him. The Eradicator nods and the two super-beings fly off to speak more privately on land. They arrive quickly upon a tropical isle. After a moment, the Eradicator asks Superboy the question burning within him. He asks, since Superboy now knows himself to be a clone, does he still feel like a real person? Superboy is deeply offended by this question. Of course he does! What kind of a cruel question was that? The Eradicator attempts to apologize, but flees the uncomfortable scene instead. Moments later, Superboy joins him in the skies. Now calmed down, he answers that even though they weren’t born in the typical way, it’s their emotions that make them real. This gives them their soul. The Eradicator considers Superboy’s outlook later. Could he actually have a soul? (Try to sing the blues my kryptonian brother. Then you’ll know. God, that was a lame joke. Umm…..more fart noises? There! Saved it!)

At that moment in the Bronx, Sarah Conner lies awake, troubled by recent events in her life. Could the monster that destroyed her apartment actually be her husband reborn? How would that even be possible? Suddenly, she becomes aware of a bright light coming from outside the bedroom window. Sensing trouble, she protects her children as best as she can. That’s when an energy blast explodes through the wall and the demonic-looking Kem-L steps through! Meanwhile, the Eradicator makes up his mind in the planet’s orbit. He will leave the Earth behind and explore deepest space. But first, he must at least see his human side’s family one last time. He flies off immediately to do so. Kem-L looks to the human family before him, breathing in the scent of their rage and fear. He finds it intoxicating. (Probably a bit of poo stink too. I know if that horrific thing burst through my apartment wall, he’d smell more than rage and fear. Just sayin’.) He demands that they tell him where they have the Eradicator hidden!

Sarah’s brother, Mike, leaps off of his sleeping place on the floor and puts his arms out in a protective manner towards his sister and nephews. He would protect them with his life if need be! But this scene is interrupted by gunshots hitting the creature’s exposed back from the hole in the wall! It turns to see police officers as they open fire once again. More amused than anything else, Kem-L blasts his energy towards the police! After a parked car explodes and the officers run for safety, he turns his attention back to the family once more. Only they’re no longer there! But alas, the family is quickly located once again, nearly free of the building before Kem-L blasts a hole in the floor above their heads! Sarah pleads for her children’s lives as the descending Kem-L slowly hovers towards them! He grabs Sarah by her throat and lifts her menacingly into the air! Her boys look on helpless as their uncle lies on the ground unconscious! (Is there another way to choke someone besides menacingly? Don’t answer that! Perverts.) But before the monster can hurt her, the Eradicator arrives, eyes and fists glowing with power! He orders Kem-L to drop the woman now!

Kem-L seems genuinely confused. Are they both not superior lifeforms? Better in every way than these frail humans? The Eradicator replies that he shares their core weakness. He cares. He continues that he can drain him of his energies, just leave the human family alone. The monster replies that this will not do. No. They must die to free the Eradicator of his weakness. The Eradicator answers that he will not fight Kem-L. Kill the humans then. He cares not! And with that, he flies through the apartment’s roof! Leaving Sarah, Mike, and the two young boys to perish at the hands of this nightmare from Krypton’s dark past! Kem-L cackles maniacally as he readies himself to snap poor Sarah Conner’s neck! Just then, the Eradicator smashes through the roof above the creature, severing it’s right arm with the force of his blow! (Psych! You thought he was gonna leave too, didn’t you? Ha! He showed you. This guy should sell medical insurance over the phone with his uncanny skill to lie without remorse.)

The beast roars in pain as Sarah and the children escape! It then begins to shapeshift into it’s female form. It talks calmly to the Eradicator as it slowly approaches. The dark hero seems transfixed by these words and the beautiful face until Kem-L strikes with a mighty uppercut! This sends the Eradicator crashing into a brick wall with such force, even he is stunned! Kem-L follows this by throwing the other being through wall after wall! The blows begin to take their toll after awhile. At last, the Eradicator seems defeated! He replies that he will fight no more. He will give his energy over freely. His eyes glow as he says the last words. Suddenly, the building explodes into rubble as the Eradicator unleashes the fury of his full power! Sarah cries out that Mike is still inside! She runs to save him! But moments after she enters the inferno, the Eradicator comes crashing through a wall to the outside, Mike held safely in his powerful arms! (I hope these people have renter’s insurance and that it covers “Acts of Krypton”!)

Eradicator slowly and carefully lies the man in the street near the children. One of them pulls insistently upon the superhero’s cape. He turns to see terror in the boy’s face as he explains that his mother went back into the building! The Eradicator loses no time as he speeds back into the blaze! He calls out frantically for Sarah to say something so he can locate her. He hears a low groan. Turning, he sees her. She’s trapped under some flaming wreckage! He rushes forward and throws it off of her at lightning speed! He tries to console her. She’ll be okay. Sarah caresses his face and whispers that he’s lying with a gentle smile. That’s when the unthinkable happens. For the briefest of moments, their minds become one! He feels every emotion, sees every triumph and heartache! And then nothing. Sarah’s hand drops limply. She is no more. (I’m not gonna cry. I’m not gonna…..sob…..don’t look at me! Umm. I mean, let’s continue on with our story…..)

Later, he watches her funeral from a distance. It’s a beautiful service as services go. He mourns her. But does he have the right? After all, he only carries some of her husband’s memories. And now, her memories are a part of him as well. He feels more strongly than ever before because of this he believes. Does he now possess a soul, he wonders? He knows about as much as anyone else does. That’ll have to be enough.

End.

Dedicated to the woman who gave me life as I just recently celebrated my 46th. birthday, my mother, Pamela Bowen-Metz. I love you, mom.