What happens when you mix two of comicdom’s most badass characters into one being? I don’t know. These never mixed Ambush Bug and Spider-Ham to my knowledge. But when they do, I’ll be the first in line to buy that bad boy! But this story’s about the Punisher if he wore the living costume, Venom, instead of Eddie Brock. (I know. I’m sad now too.) Enjoy, Unspokenites…..sob…..as we look back at “What If…?” #44. This particular issue poses the interesting question: “What if Venom Had Posessed the Punisher?”

The Punisher takes a break from his personal war to enter Our Lady of Saints church. He lights a candle out of respect for his wife and children that were slaughtered so long ago. The pain never seemed to fade. As he does this, he recalls spying Spider-Man swinging overhead as he’d entered. He thought back over how many times that the Wall-Crawler had interrupted and ruined his missions in his career as a lethal vigilante. Perhaps it was these very thoughts that made the “shadows” in the bell tower slowly stir. The darkness then sprang to the praying form of Frank Castle, enveloping him completely in inky blackness! He springs to his feet and leaves this place of worship. He enters an alleyway and, as the black substance begins to flow, the Punisher suddenly realizes that he’s in control of it! (Yeah. Frank Castle seems amused by this sudden intrusion to his very body. Anyone else would pee themselves and faint. You’ve gotta respect the Punisher. Tough bladder on that guy.)

Later, as the Punisher’s friend and ally, Microchip, begins researching what this strange new suit is and where it came from, Frank decides to take it on a little test run. He’s amazed by how it alters itself to look like different people as it changes the look of the clothes it creates. (People wearing symbiotes need to wear underwear. There. I’ve said it. So wrong!) This allows the Punisher to walk straight through a crowd, in broad daylight, to his intended target. He asks the man from behind if he’s the correct person. Annoyed, the target turns. But before he can open his mouth to complain, the Punisher lists off the man’s many crimes as he shape-shifts into his preferred form before the criminals widening eyes! The mobster tries to dissuade what’s coming next with lying words, but to no avail. Black fingertip claws cut through his terrified form before he can utter a complete sentence! The two goons on either side of the cooling corpse grab for their guns reflexively, not yet aware that their employer is no more! Punisher webs their guns and torsos up in a flash. Frank is disgusted by the webbing. Too Spider-Man like for his taste. He concentrates and bullet-like projectiles fire from his arms! Punisher smiles a fanged grin. Much better. He mows down the two others and makes a hasty escape!

Assuming that this new costume must be nothing more than a battle suit created by S.H.I.E.L.D. or something, Frank doesn’t worry too much as he continues his one man war against crime. But as he does so, he becomes more brutal and vicious against his prey. Not only does he barely notice, if he does, he doesn’t care. One day, as Spider-Man swings by, an old woman screams as he passes overhead. Confused, he stops and asks her why. She looks to his similar black costume with white symbol on the chest for a moment before answering in relief. She had thought that he was the Punisher. Spidey looks to his own costume and wonders about the matching alien costume that he had been forced to lead into a deadly trap within a church bell tower not so long ago. Blocks from this, Daredevil corners two thugs in Hell’s Kitchen but stops as the Punisher leaps by, from rooftop to rooftop. His superior senses pick up that somthing is amiss. He vows to look into it later. Frank returns to his lair and nods off. Exhausted. But the costume is far from tired. (See! Do you really want to wear something like this with no undees on underneath?)

Microchip bursts into the room. He begins telling Frank that he’s only been able to find scattered reports of Spider-Man being present at that church the night in question. He thinks that the Fantastic Four may have more info, but has been unable to crack their systems. (Well, duh. Stay in your pay grade there, Micro. That’s the big boys you’re messing with. Hell, Reed’s electric toothbrush is more advanced that your entire computer system I’d wager.) The Punisher silently stands, grabs Microchip by the face, and slams his head into the wall, leaving the poor man unconscious. The symbiote then strolls from the room, a sleeping Frank Castle safe within it’s protective shell! It laughs softly as it leaves the hideout. Moments later, Spidey investigates the bell tower in question. Unsatisfied, he turns to go. But that’s when he’s jumped by the symbiote! The fight lasts for nearly an hour. And all the while, the symbiote stays silent as it beats Spider-Man within an inch of his life! After pulling the hero from a brick wall, it raises the Wall-Crawler for a killing blow! Just then, Castle awakens! He quickly orders the alien to halt. Spider-Man may be a nuisance, but he’s not the enemy. It drops him and the Punisher leaps away. Spider-Man whispers to himself that he’s going to need some help against this foe.

Spider-Man arrives not too long after at the headquarters of the Fantastic Four. And though Mr. Fantastic isn’t there, the Thing is more than happy to help. Not only does the rock colossus lend out a sonic rifle, he gives Spidey a bit of advice. If he’s being mistaken for his enemy, maybe it’s time for a costume change. Spidey leaves with a plan forming in his mind. (Wow! The Thing had just gave out some good advice. Pretty smart for a dude that has to have rocks in his head…..literally. Bad joke. I apologize.) Meanwhile, Castle awakens only to be confronted by a frightened Microchip about striking him earlier that night. Frank remembers nothing of this and grows agitated. The symbiote covers his face as he leaves, stating he has work to do. He grows inky wings and hovers, in broad daylight, towards the home office of the Kingpin. He’d heard a man, named Tombstone, had recently begun work there and the Punisher means to introduce himself the hard way! Battling his way through the lower levels, he soon finds his prey. Tombstone tries to run, but too late! The Punisher grabs him and tears his head off with his massive fanged mouth! But why stop there? He begins to make his way to the top floor, to the office of the Kingpin himself!

The Punisher arrives in the private office of the nefarious Kingpin. But the large man just dismisses him and sends in Typhoid Mary to defend him! But who else is fighting for his life? Daredevil aids Mary in the fight! Not quite. He states that he’s only here to put a stop to all of this brutal killing. But this only serves to enrage Castle further as he fires upon hero an villain alike! But as this fight continues, neither combatant notices a small strand of symbiotic tendril snake it’s way to the Kingpin across the floor! Castle then leaps from the window, leaving Daredevil and Typhoid Mary alone with a very dead Wilson Fisk! (Damn! Can you imagine the thunderous sound of a guy that big falling dead to the floor above your apartment? I’d complain to the landlord. Wait. He probably was the landlord. Never mind.) The Punisher didn’t return home that night. There was more killing to do.

The next night, the Punisher returned to the place where this all began, Our Lady of Saints. But he wasn’t alone. Spider-Man, Daredevil, and Moon Knight awaited him! The heroes tried to talk reason, but their words fell upon deaf ears! Frank Castle sprang at the trio! The symbiote was now in complete control! And what it saw was it’s enemy, Spider-Man, with new allies to hurt it! The assembled heroes tried their best. But the symbiote was way to strong and skilled for them! As it knocked them all aside, it spied the bell tower! Remembering it’s past pain in this place, it sends several tendrils around the tower and crushed the entire structure with ease! As it smiled with glee at its destruction, Spidey tore free a concealed, webbed up sonic rifle! Wasting no time, the Wall-Crawler fires point blank! The intense sound tore at the symbiote as it roared in anguish! But it didn’t tear free of Frank Castle! The two were bonded! The Punisher looked to Spider-Man and thanked him. He then pulled a sidearm and quickly fired at the sonic rifle, destroying it! (Anyone else confused? Thought so. You see, not only is Frank Castle a complex character, but the symbiote is really, really pissy. Better?)

Frank Castle stood there then, staring blankly, as if he were in a deep trance. And truth be told, he was. He imagined himself back in the Vietnam War and forward to more recent days. And as this dream progressed, he was hunted by a fanged shadow. The symbiote. Frank knew now what it was and that it was trying to assume complete control! Not on his watch! It was then that Castle made the alien know who was boss mentally. He made a deal with it. If the creature obeyed his commands without question, he’d let it live. A single moment passed. The Punisher awoke. He looked to the other vigilantes and said that it was all over. The symbiote worked for him now! And before they could question his words more that a little, the Punisher grew black, leathery wings and flew off. He knew that he’d won this day. He was confident in that. The other heroes would just have to deal with that fact and accept him at his word. Otherwise, if they wanted to pursue him, he’d be waiting. And hell would be waiting with him.

End.

Dedicated to my son, James Christian Miller, who has proven himself to be more of a superhero than any character I’ve ever read about. I love you.