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90s Comics, 90s DC, DC Comics, Uncategorized

Frag it! We’re Doin’ Lobo! (part 2 of 4)

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Welcome back, Legions of the Unspoken! I apologize for the delay in getting part two of this series out to you. I know you’ve all been dying for the sequel. So, without further ado, I give you the Main Man himself…..

At the moment, Lobo stands outside of his door at the seediest motel in the worst part of the galaxy. He looks down at a small, yellow humanoid that he calls Gus. He warns Gus that his prisoner is within the room and that she’s to remain there while he makes a quick call. If all doesn’t go to plan, poor Gus will suffer for it. Oddly enough, Gus agrees with a smile. Lobo walks past him and locates the nearest communication device. He rings the bell at the front desk impatiently. The clerk appears shortly with an attitude. Seconds later, Lobo uses the communicator with the rude clerk’s blood still drying on his fists! (Let’s take this moment to appreciate Lobo’s act of mercy here. His calming meditation classes are really paying off! After all, he didn’t torture the guy before gutting him.)

Within moments, the Main Man is patched through to Vril Dox at L.E.G.I.O.N headquarters. Lobo complains about having to constantly check in on this god-awful mission. This is ignored while Dox repeats once again that the prisoner is to remain alive. He then terminates the call. Lobo suddenly spies an angry man standing next to him. The man complains that others need to use the phone too. Lobo walks away a moment later, fresh blood dripping from his hook. (Okay. So maybe the classes aren’t working that splendidly.) He returns to his room only to see that Gus is no longer standing guard outside! Lobo kicks in the door and scans the room. Empty! Cursing, he heads out in search of the foolish duo. Meanwhile, on Oneida VI, the local law enforcement agency plan the Last Czarnian’s demise for his recent murder of one of their officers! At that precise moment, the thugs from the diner the night before plot their own revenge as they search for Lobo and his elderly prisoner as well!

Following their trail, he locates them at a nearby ballet! Grumbling, Lobo enters the audience. Looking down from a higher vantage point, he spy’s them in the crowd. Lobo yells downwards at the unlikely pair but his voice is drowned out. Gus looks to Miss Tribb and exclaims how excited he is for Lobo to arrive. He had no idea that he liked dancing so much until the former school teacher told him so. (Fool! The old lady’s playing you, Gus! Let’s have a preemptive moment of silence for poor old Gus.) The ballet begins with automatic machine gun fire and heads being lopped off by chainsaws! Miss Tribb exclaims that she had no idea that this show was going to be so violent. Lobo stops to admire the carnage on stage before dropping from the balcony! He lands right atop Gus’s small form, crushing the smaller being to paste! (No! Gusssss!!!) Lobo grabs Tribb by the hair and begins to drag her through the crowd. That’s when he notices the audience cheering him!

Lobo ignores all of this, however. That is until a single bullet whizzes by his ear! He turns slowly and sees that the performers on stage are aiming their many weapons right at him! They’re actually angry that they’ve just been upstaged! Lobo pushes Miss Tribb away and approaches the angry dancers. What happens next is pure, unhinged violence at its best. The dancers attack the Main Man with everything they’ve got, but using just his hook, Lobo stands triumphant at the end! A pile of mangled performer corpses lies piled hehind him as he walks away, Miss Tribb thrown over his shoulder! (You don’t mess with stage nerds. They always be packin’!) The audience applauds as he strolls out of the theatre, a grin on his face. Elsewhere, the Sons of Lobo biker gang have overheard the diner ruffians discuss harming their idol! They fly off in search of the coming bloodbath. In a different sector of space, the police are waiting for Lobo to pass by them themselves. As the last factions prepare, the angry grannies approach the same spot within their titanic warship!

Later, Lobo and Miss Tribb fly through space upon Lobo’s space hawg. Tribb’s legs seem to be amputated! She scolds the Main Man for overreacting and states that she’ll just regenerate her missing limbs. Lobo replies that at least she can’t run off for a little while. Back at L.E.G.I.O.N headquarters, Vril Dox stares at a large viewing screen that shows all of the converging parties with Lobo right in the middle! He smiles as he whispers that everything’s going exactly to plan!

To be continued…..

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Worthy of the Webs (part 4 of 4)

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Well, here we are! The epic finale in the slugfest between the fledgling hero, now known as the Scarlet Spider, and the veteran villain, Venom! Will Ben Reilly succeed where so many other heroes have failed? Will he defeat the Lethal Protector once and for all? (And will I finish this article in or out of the bathroom due to stomach issues? Stay tuned!)

Venom stood atop the skyscraper, lifting the broken and battered hero one handed by his neck! The Scarlet Spider’s feet dangled over the edge as Venom mocked him. Ben couldn’t help but wonder if he deserved this. He was nothing more than a clone after all. (Ugh! Stop with the pity party already and kick his ass, Benny-boy! Jeez! Am I right, folks?) That’s when the Scarlet Spider looked over to Scream. The woman within the symbiote was unconscious and barely breathing. That’s when rage overtook him! No! He wouldn’t surrender! Not when another human life was depending on him! Using all of his advanced strength, the Scarlet Spider balled up his fist and struck behind himself! The blow connected with Venom’s jaw, stunning him long enough for Ben to turn and deliver yet another powerful blow! This one sent Venom soaring across the rooftops, crashing straight through a billboard!

Venom doesn’t stay down for long though! As the Scarlet Spider swings towards his foe, Venom has already shot up a webline of their own, swiping at the hero with razor-sharp claws! Ben barely dodges! He’ll have to slow the villain down. He raises his web-shooter and fires countless orbs that explode upon impact into quick growing webbing! Soon, the symbiotic duo are completely encased, not unlike a deranged mummy! The hero attempts to take a breath and rest his open wound. He needs to plan. But an enraged Venom bursts through the several layers of ultra-strong webbing with an unearthly roar! Wasting no time, Venom pounces at Ben like a panther, sending them both over the building’s edge! (Damn, I nearly spit out my popcorn as I read the exciting words I just wrote! Damn, I’m good!)

The two trade blows back and forth in the small crater they’ve created in the street below! Finally, Venom seems to prepare for a killing strike! But too late! As the monster taunts him, Ben fires even more impact webbing balls into the symbiote’s open, fanged mouth! As they explode, the force begins to pull the Venom creature from it’s human host! As this transpires below, a lone figure dressed in a ragged cape watches from a rooftop with keen interest! The Spider then finishes his attack by firing a stinger bolt from his web-shooter! It hits Eddie Brock’s exposed skin, causing immense pain! While he’s stunned, the Scarlet Spider delivers blow after powerful blow to the villain! They connect with devastating results until, at long last, Venom drops! The mystery man from the rooftop stands, shocked. He will make his presence known soon. Ben Reilly will soon feel the mark of Kaine! (So cool! I have literal goosebumps! Who is this mystetious Kaine? Use Google. Who am I, your living encyclopedia? Presume much?)

Now separated from it’s unconscious and beaten human host, the symbiote lunges towards Reilly! It senses something familiar about him and longs for symbiosis! (What a cheating whore!) But Ben forces it away striking the already wounded alien creature until it drops. The Scarlet Spider then collapses, exhausted beyond words. Later, armored Guardsmen take Eddie Brock and the symbiote in to custody in separate containment chambers. Scream seems to have disappeared completely. The Guardsman takes the Scarlet Spider’s hand and thanks him as he shakes it. The Scarlet Spider then fires a webline upwards and swings away in deep thought. He just defeated Venom! Maybe he’s worth more than he originally thought. Maybe he can be a superhero after all!

End.

(P.S. I made it without running to the bathroom once! Yay, me!)

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Worthy of the Webs (part 3 of 4)

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Here we are, Unspokenites! Its part three of my look back at not only the Scarlet Spider’s first night out as a hero, but his first battle as well! And what a first battle too! I mean, who goes and picks a fight with Venom when they’re just a rookie? (I’d be searching for someone wussy like Egghead or something.) Anyway, I present to you the story from “Web of Spider-Man” #119…..

The Scarlet Spider clings to the wall of a building, holding pressure to the webbing that’s holding his insides in place. Venom almost gutted him just moments ago. He needs to get home. Find a way to treat his wounds. Somehow, he manages to return to his apartment. Using his hooded sweatshirt, he ties pressure over the deep gashes on his side just as his webbing finally dissolves. He dresses in his civilian clothes and attempts a call on the telephone for help. But the blood loss is too great. He passes out in the building’s hallway. A neighbor discovers him and, despite her distrust, decides to get him to the hospital ASAP. (Man, I know this is a serious moment in the story, but who else would become a peeping tom if they were granted spider powers? Well? A show of hands? Liars!)

Elsewhere, Venom swings toward the apartment of one Peter Parker in search of answers about this fake Spider-Man that they’ve just battled. The symbiotic duo crash through a window and examine the dwelling. Empty. Annoyed, they look elsewhere. (The subtlety of a triggered Gilbert Gottfried-sounding burglar alarm. Rest in peace, dude.) Their search next take them to the home of Parker’s Aunt May. Nothing. What’s been going on in their absence? Where is Spider-Man? At that moment, as Ben Reilly receives the last of his stitches at the hospital, a nurse casually leaves the room and searches out a phone. Finding one, she makes a hurried call to reporter, Ken Ellis, of the Daily Bugle. He had called earlier, offering cash to anyone who had news of a young man with a specific, serious injury that should arrive this night. Hanging up quickly, he rushes out the double doors and into a passing cab.

Ellis’ sudden departure does not go unnoticed. A being atop a building across the street uncloaks herself, becoming visible. (It’s a Disney-owned Predator! Run! Run before it forces you into it’s inevitably crappy movie!) It’s the female symbiote, Scream. She will follow this reporter. He will lead her to this new Spider. And through him, Venom. Then she will have hope again. Hope of controlling her alien “other”. She cloaks herself once again and follows the cab from the rooftops. Meanwhile, a room of gangsters speak to a shadowed man as he reads the newspaper. They demand he do what they hired him to do, murder the head of another crime family for them. This is his specialty after all. The mysterious man is called Kaine and he doesn’t like taking orders. Kaine ignores them and continues reading in silence. Now angered, guns are drawn and held on him. But Kaine merely knocks the large chandelier down onto many of the criminals with the throw of an unseen weapon, disarms two more men with ease, and finishes by burning the face of the most outspoken one with his mere touch. He dies in anguish! Kaine leaves the paper behind with the headline announcing the Scarlet Spider. Kaine whispers to no-one that he’s found something else more interesting to do.

Back at the hospital, as Ben lowers his shirt over his bandaged midsection, he overhears a commotion from behind his curtain. Peering out, he spies Ken Ellis pushing his way through the nurses. Frantic to conceal his identity, Ben leaps onto the ceiling and pulls the casing off of the overhead vent. He crawls through hastily, making his way to the roof in hardly any time. When Ellis bursts in, he’s met with an empty room. (I know I’ve felt like crawling to freedom exactly like Ben did to escape the utter boredom of the emergency room where I live! You need how much blood? How long does this test’s results take? Madness!) But when the Scarlet Spider reaches the rooftop, he finds he isn’t alone! Scream’s waiting for him! Good thing he thought to pull his mask on! She demands his aid in finding Venom. But Ben has had enough of this situation. He swings off quickly, leaving her to rage alone! Or did he?

Scream tears the rooftop to pieces in her anger, sending pieces of debris flying downwards to the people in the busy streets below! But the Scarlet Spider hasn’t left the scene quite yet. Half expecting this, he hid and waited. He catches and crushes as much of the falling pieces as he can before she swings away. Ben begins to think, what if he hadn’t been here to rescue these people below tonight? What if he’d ignored them and left them to save themselves? It reminded him of Peter’s Uncle Ben and how his murder could have been prevented should Peter have stopped a certain thief earlier that fateful night. Perhaps he’d forgotten Spider-Man’s lesson: “With great power comes great responsibility.” (Is anyone else sick of this constantly repeated credo? Ugh! It’s like the Spider-Man origin story in general. I consider leaping from a high window whenever it’s retold. Maybe it’s just me…..Nah.)

Later, the woman who saved Ben Reilly’s life knocks on his apartment door. She’s been wondering if he’s okay since his sudden disappearance at the hospital. (Yeah. And she saw his muscles while he was unconscious too. I bet that played no part. Women. What a bunch of perverts.) Ben answers but doesn’t remove the chain from his door. He apologies and tells her that he’s busy. She looks taken aback at his rudeness but nods and leaves. He closes the door all of the way and continues suiting up. He’s going to war against Venom! He may still leave this city, but it’ll be with a clean conscience because he’s stopped that creature! Elsewhere, Scream has absolutely lost it! She throws even more heavy objects from the great height of another skyscraper, putting countless more innocent people in harms way! She’s stopped rather quickly, though, as two feet hit her at great speed and with superhuman force! She turns. Venom has arrived and they’ve had enough! Venom knocks Scream down with a powerful punch to the face! They then pin her down and begin to literally tear the bonded symbiote from the human host’s very flesh!

Just then, small orbs are fired upon Venom from behind! Venom turns, confused. The Scarlet Spider stands where the tiny balls were shot from. The pellets suddenly explode with webbing and it covers Venom’s face so quickly and completely, that even they must struggle to tear it off! The hero states that he calls his new invention impact webbing, and he’s brought plenty to end this fight! The two square off. The final battle is here at last!

To be concluded…..