90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Ghost in the Machine (part 3 of 4)

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Welcome back, fellow Unspokenites to part three of my look back at Marvel’s “Death’s Head II” miniseries! So, what’re your thoughts on the story so far? I’d really enjoy your comments. When we last left our “hero”, Minion/Death’s Head had found a loophole out of assassinating poor Mr. Fantastic, and then moved on to a time and place unknown to us. So, let’s get back to our boy. Shall we? (Like you had a choice! Ha! Please don’t go away…..whimper.)

The year is 3442 AD. (Though you wouldn’t know it with all of the medieval-y crap all around. Savages.) Led by an enormous, lizard-like beast that pulled the first wagon, a caravan made it’s way very carefully through the dense forest. The people looked around nervously. You see, thieves were known to inhabit these particular woods. Led by their fearless leader, the mysterious Hood, they were relentless! Suddenly, as if summoned by their fears, the Hood and his men burst from the foliage, ready to do battle! He raised his sword/arm menacingly and demanded that those in the caravan relinquish their riches to them immediately! They are met with fierce resistance as the riders pull weapons of their own! During the skirmish, one of the riders pleads with the Hood to leave them be. The Holy Sisters are aboard one of the wagons and may be harmed. But before the Hood can speak, these so-called women of a higher power burst free of their vehicle, blades and crossbows at the ready!

(I’m gonna have nightmares! Badass nuns armed with weapons? Isn’t that every man’s deepest, darkest fear? Shudder.) Now the battle truly begins! It’s during this madness, that one of the nuns raises her crossbow, aiming at the Hood’s head! Unaware, he continues fighting others in the caravan party! But before she can fire a shot, she’s run through from behind by a young red-headed woman in blue warpaint! The battle ends soon after. As prisoners are taken and loot is collected, the woman introduces herself as Tuck and she wishes to join the Hood’s group. The Hood asks why. Tuck doesn’t mince words. This planet is corrupt and only this band of outlaws seem to be fighting back against the oppression. The Hood replies that every one of his men is a cyborg and therefore their very existence is illegal by the planet-wide ban on technology. Himself included. His name is actually Death’s Head and he hails from the year 2020. Tuck then surprises the cyborg as she admits that she herself is a completely synthetic being! Death’s Head pauses. He then orders Tuck to grab some loot and follow the others.

Back in the New York of 2020, Baron Strucker admires the remains of the original Death’s Head cyborg’s corpse as it hangs within his dingy lab. He then orders Spratt to collect for him some items in the far corner of the room. Against his will, Spratt complies. He does fight his fear long enough of this Baron to ask what the items he’s lifting are. Strucker replies that they are occult artifacts and not to worry. He has the situation of rebuilding Spratt’s robotic partner completely in hand! (Off subject a bit here, but why did they call him “Hood” anyway if he had no hood? Ponder that as you try to rest tonight.) Meanwhile, in 3442, the King’s brother stands within the throne room, entertaining the masses with tales of his supposed adventures. He looks to one of the new women that has recently been added to his growing harem and caresses a curl of her red hair as he asks if she is impressed. She admits that she is, though she would like to hear more of this outlaw, the Hood. That’s when a surviving member of the attacked caravan bursts into the room! He kneels shakily as he recounts his tale. The King’s brother is understandably distressed. He orders for Major Oak and his men to be brought to him immediately!

As the King’s brother awaited Major Oak, he looked back to the ravishing redhead and asked her given name. She replied, Evelyn Necker. Later, back at the outlaws’ camp, Death’s Head recounted his strange history to Tuck over a roaring fire, surrounded by a starry sky. She sat speechless as she took in every word. He finished his story by admitting that he’d been in this time period for a year so far. But before Tuck could say a thing in return, Major Oak and his army of soldiers lept from their concealed positions and savagely attacked Death’s Head’s band of cyborg rogues! (Dude! Check out Major Oak’s hairstyle in the pic above! Hahaha! Weirdo! God, I miss having long hair. Great. Now I’m sad.) The bloody battle raged back and forth, ending with the surprising sound of a lazer rifle! As all superior technology was outlawed in this time, both groups of combatants were shocked badly enough to halt all hostilities immediately and turn towards the sound! Dr. Evelyn Necker sat upon the King’s cat-like steed, holding a smoking, futuristic gun nearly as big as her entire arm! The land’s corrupt ruler lie unconscious at her feet! She looked to Death’s Head and, with a commanding tone, demanded the cyborg return to 2020 with her!

But as she finishes this sentence, she is stopped from continuing by the sword pressed to her throat! Death’s Head approaches Necker, amused. He introduces Tuck as the young lady lowers her weapon. The cyborg then tells the doctor that, as he’s now his own man, he won’t be returning. Inspiration suddenly hits Dr. Necker. She begins to negotiate a price for his aid instead. Taking the bait easily, he negotiates back until a large sum of money is agreed upon. Tuck refuses to leave his side and so is added to the deal as a new partner of sorts to the cyborg. The trio teleport back through time together. (Two sexy redheads for the price of one? Must be awesome to be a hideous cyborg monstrosity, huh?) In 2020, the Baron speaks of how his grandfather created A.I.M. during the second World War only to have his creation turn its back on him. Now, he will have revenge for his entire family line. Spratt quakes with fear as the Baron turns, revealing his new hideous image! He then murders the fleeing sidekick as he proclaims himself now to be called Charnel! (I know I’m supposed to be repulsed, but how sweet does this guy look?!) Death’s Head and the two ladies appear a short time later. What they witness at the 2020 A.I.M. headquarters, is the stuff of nightmares! Necker had seen something like this once before. Using magic and technology together, someone was attempting to un-create A.I.M., stopping the birth of the Minion cyborg as a result!

To be concluded…..

Dedicated to my granddaughter, Lillian Grace Miller, for her first birthday! Grandpa loves you, sweetheart!

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Ghost in the Machine (part 2 of 4)

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I have survived. Though I found myself in mortal danger, I live on. After a near-fatal Funko Pop avalanche, I crawled out from beneath the collectible rubble to press on and give you my comprehensive look back at “Death’s Head II” #2 by Marvel Comics. Only light injuries were sustained. (So…..much…..Disney….! I only slightly blame Mrs. Symbifan for her addiction. I have also been advised to tell you that I collect Funkos too and should probably just shut my trap. ) Moving on…..

It is the year 1992 and lightning strikes ominously as the Minion cyborg suddenly appears in a grungy back alley in New York City. Energy crackles from his metallic form as he constructs a deadly weapon out of the liquid metal in his right arm by sheer will. The cyborg is now ready to continue its mission. It will kill and assimilate the mind of one Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four! At that exact moment, Mr. Richards sits in a fancy, French restaurant, awaiting the arrival of his lovely wife, Sue. He looks up as the waiter appears with a phone. Mr. Fantastic takes it with a small thank you and answers. It’s Sue. It seems that she’ll be late for the date as she’s currently being held up at a charity event. He replies for her to take her time as he hangs up, amused. For once, she’s the late party. (For those of you that don’t know, Reed’s a crappy husband. He’d rather invent new technologies than satisfy his wife’s needs. Now, the sexy, aquatic monarch, Namor, wants Sue for his very own. So, emotionally cold but genius husband, or kingly and powerful bad boy. Let’s take a vote. Come on, ladies!)

Reed raised his water glass to his lips to drink, but is interrupted by the sudden appearance of a sexy, redhead dressed in strange garb and toting an enormous gun! She tells him that she’s Dr. Evelyn Necker from the year 2020 and that to live, he must do exactly as she says! Before Richards can question her further, Minion enters the restaurant, tossing staff aside like rag dolls as it advances on his target! Minion fires! But Necker pulls Reed to the floor and returns fire! She connects, stunning the powerful construct momentarily! She then rises to her feet to fire a killing shot! But this opportunity is taken away from her as Mr. Fantastic pulls the rifle from her grasp! He demands she stop firing in such a confined place with civilians present and that they take this fight elsewhere. Begrudgingly, she complies. Minion continuse to open fire as they race out the door! (Well, Necker had Minion dead to rights, but Mr. Goody-two-shoes had to ruin it. And the award for dumbass of the year goes to……) Forcing a cabbie from his vehicle, they get in and race off! But the cyborg won’t be dismissed so easily. It leaps and drops in front of the cab! Richards hits the gas, hitting Minion full force! Seconds pass and Minion rises from the street with a slightly annoyed look.

As the vehicle races through New York traffic, the Minion cyborg follows, running at super velocity! Cracking the pavement beneath its powerful footfall, it nearly catches up! And all the while, it fires blast after blast at the fleeing duo! As Reed tries to out-maneuver the shots, he demands an explanation from Necker. She reveals that it’s out to murder him and then absorb his superior intellect. How does she know this? Because she programmed it! It’s already done so with over one hundred victims, but it’s been acting uncontrollable since killing and absorbing the mind of the robotic Death’s Head. Just then, Minion catches up to the cab! But before it can attack, Richards sideswipes it into a lamppost and it tumbles into a store window! Glass explodes everywhere! The now-damaged cab speeds away! (Damn! Maybe old Reed needs to be taught a lesson by Minion. I mean, look at the mess he’s creating! Move the fight away from innocent bystanders my ass! Superheroes. Am I right?) Back in A.I.M. headquarters in the year 2020, a young man named Spratt, a sometimes-sidekick to Death’s Head, walks through the advanced lab, seemingly undetected as an outsider. He wears the uniform of a lowly A.I.M agent as he pushes Death’s Head’s remains down an empty corridor. As he walks, he vows to bring his friend back, no matter the cost!

Meanwhile, at the Fantastic Four’s base of operations, the Thing passes by a television set and happens to see the news as a frantic reporter recounts the recent events involving Mr. Fantastic, an unknown redheaded woman, and a superpowered attacker! Shocked, the Thing readies himself for action! As this is going on, Sue has finally arrived at the restaurant only to see the carnage! She pleads with the waiter as to her husband’s whereabouts! The man replies nervously about the pretty woman and the robotic assailant. (Ooooooh! Reed’s gonna be in trouble! Hehehe! Sorry. That was very juvenile of me…..He’s gonna get it! Hehehe!) Back to the action! Necker retrieves her firearm only to see that it’s damaged beyond repair. So instead, she throws an explosive at the gaining cyborg to slow it down! But shrapnel hits the taxi’s back tires and gas tank! This sends it spinning as it smokes! Mr. Fantastic wraps his rubber arms around Dr. Necker and rolls from the vehicle just as it explodes! Hearing a gravely voice, both look up to see the Thing sitting upon a hovering vehicle close by! The Thing asks for an explanation. Reed tells the large, rocky behemoth that, in short, the cyborg wants him dead. That’s all that Ben Grimm needed to hear. The Thing slowly approaches the cyborg as it walks towards him, through the flames!

The Thing doesn’t get too close however as Minion blasts him with his cannon arm! The rocky superhero pulls himself back to his feet and takes the cannon in both of his gigantic hands! He then crushes the weapon! Unfazed by this, Minion forms a blade-arm from where the cannon once was! Sensing that this fight might take him longer than expected, Ben orders the other two to take his vehicle and flee. Unsure at first, they finally comply. (That’s right, Mr. Grimm. Maybe this’ll teach you to only refer to people by nicknames for like ever! I’m sorry. I just can’t stand the Thing. How hard is it to remember three other people’s names after all of this damn time I ask you? Sheesh!) The Thing hits the cyborg assassin with two good punches, actually drawing blood! But Minion merely picks up the titan and throws him backwards off of the bridge they’ve been standing on and onto a passing boat far, far below! Minion, now satisfied there will be no more interference, continues searching for it’s prey!

A short time later, back at Mr. Fantastic’s lab, Necker lays Minion’s origins out for the superhero in the hopes that the explanation will help in stopping the killing machine. That’s when it hits him. Yes, Minion was built to assassinate and absorb the skills of several hundred organic hosts, but Death’s Head was mechanical! And if Richards didn’t miss his guess, the Death’s Head personality was inside and fighting for dominance of the cyborg’s mind. This would cause increased hostility and confusion. (Umm. Yes. I surmised this myself. Cough. -Clears throat.- Actually, I had no idea. But I love the pretty colors.) Reed immediately begins work on a device meant to force the robotic bountyhunter’s consciousness into the driver’s seat permanently! Less than an hour passes. The Human Torch comes home from a night out on the city, but is instead met at the door by Minion! Before the Torch can fully power up, he’s knocked out with a strong backhand! Minion enters the Fantastic Four’s HQ with ease! But when it makes it’s way into the lab area, it’s met with an energy burst that stops the cyborg in its tracks! Slowly, after a couple of minutes, it rises again. Only this time, it’s speaking like Death’s Head! The invention was a complete success! Death’s Head walks towards a nearby console and downloads all known knowledge on, Reed Richards, eliminating the need to kill him! He then turns and says his farewells before teleporting away! An annoyed and shocked Dr. Evelyn Necker does the same soon after.

Elsewhere, Spratt awaits a visitor with knowledge that can hopefully help bring his friend back. The man enters the room, announcing himself as Baron Strucker the 5th! He then strikes at poor Spratt, knocking the young man flying. Strucker approaches the remains of Death’s Head’s corpse with delight. He examines it closely and exclaims that with it under his command, A.I.M will pay and his family’s name will be avenged!

To be continued…..

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Ghost in the Machine (part 1 of 4)

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Greetings, Legions of the Unspoken. Tis I, your loyal narrator, Symbifan. That’s right. I’m back. And boy oh boy, have I been through the emotional ringer since last we spoke. Whew! My father passed away, to state it bluntly. Now, I’m not going to say that the man and I were close, but damn it, we were trying after all these years. Sigh. Anyway, that’s my excuse for my long tardiness in writing this article. I’ve been in a kind of confused haze for way too long. Well, now I’m back and I’m ready to get back to my true passion. That’s right. I’m ready to continue my nude sculptures of Batman. Ha! Anyone that knows me knows that it’d be Superman I’d sculpt in the buff. Jeez! It’s fun to laugh again. Anyway, on to my look back at “Death’s Head II” #1 by Marvel Comics! (Also, if you haven’t heard the guys over at the Unspoken Issues give their expert opinions, I highly recommend you give them a listen! Here’s the link to their podcast on this very storyline: https://youtu.be/lEpAio_wSuM?si=k3xIP0YZlYVTCVc9!)

The robotic bountyhunter, Death’s Head, looked at his surroundings. He was now on a planet called Tyler’s World, within a supposedly impenetrable high-tech base. His target was a male by the name of of Tyler Wilson. Tyler had done well for himself, the hunter mused. This was his planet after all. (I’d get a planet named in tribute to me, but Ultra Sexy World was trademarked already. Damn you, Carrot Top! Always one step ahead of me.) Death’s Head spied a duo of highly armed mercenaries not far from his position. To his dismay, they put up little fight even when they noticed him bearing down on them. Way too easy. Or was it? Several more soldiers surrounded him, attacking fiercely! The robot used his hand-blade to send all of them to their makers and with little effort. Death’s Head did love his work. Three million credits to dispose of someone he wanted to kill anyway? A no-brainer. But as the bountyhunter entered the next room, he finally saw something he wasn’t prepared for. Tyler was strung up in a web of cables! Looming over him was a cyborg that’s tech put his own body to shame! Death’s Head called out for the cyborg to cease it’s attack. This was his prey. Ignoring him, it plunged blades from a weapon/arm into Tyler’s skull! It then stated aloud Tyler’s full name, the number one hundred and three, and that he was now assimilated! Ignoring this, Death’s Head demanded satisfaction for stealing his target! The cyborg looked to him and replied that he had other places to be, but he’d see the bountyhunter again soon. It then teleported away. Death’s Head handled the tracking device in his metallic hand. Sooner than the cyborg thought.

The cyborg arrived within an A.I.M. (Advanced Idea Mechanics) lab in the year 2020. His creator, a redheaded woman by the name of Dr. Evelyn Necker, asked for a status report from the creature. Called Minion, it answered with sarcasm that wasn’t part of her project’s original programming. She was annoyed by this but supposed it was inevitable as the cyborg absorbed parts of it’s targets’ personalities and skills that it found useful to itself. The lab technicians checked Minion out in every way possible, and it prepared to teleport away once again, eager for it’s next kill. Necker did manage to get the name “Death’s Head” from Minion before it disappeared. This mere mention of the robotic bountyhunter caused fear in the usually cold and indifferent doctor for some reason. Dr. Necker called for an emergency meeting of the A.I.M. board of directors immediately. She stated for all of those holographically assembled that she was concerned for the Minion project’s wellbeing as it was growing less and less controllable with every kill and that she required more funding to discover any bugs as this cyborg was created to ensure that A.I.M wasn’t somehow destroyed in the near future. It was to be their ultimate protector. Begrudgingly, the board agreed. (Man, she’s good. I could’ve used her to beg for a higher allowance from my ex-wife. Umm…..I mean…..never mind…..)

It was now the year 2456. The place was the Zeta Reticula quadrant. A rather large, barbarian-like being with a greenish, incectoid hide was demanding knowledge of his future from a bound, pink-skinned female creature! She refused and this was met with a fierce backhand from the monstrous creature! That’s when a robotic voice from behind the two answered for her. His future was to be murdered within minutes at the hands of the Minion cyborg! Minion leapt from his hiding place and attacked immediately! It caused an avalanche of rock with a blast from it’s cannon-arm and turned to the female. And then, it surprisingly freed her. To repay him, she hastily warned him that the alien barbarian wasn’t dead quite yet! And sure enough, he did crawl from underneath the rubble and spring at Minion! A backhand tore half of the flesh from the cyborg’s face and sent him reeling! (Always with the backhand! Anyone else think that this dude’s a space pimp in his spare time? ) But Minion wasn’t beat yet, growing a liquid metal spike in place of his cannon-arm, the cyborg first cut off the beast’s hand! He then followed by impaling him through the chest and then through the mouth! Minion stated that subject one hundred and four was now assimilated. But before he left this desolate scene, the female thanked him. Strangely enough though, she called him Death’s Head! Speaking of Death’s Head, he teleported in seconds later, narrowly missing all of this. But he had a lock on Minion now!

Minion arrived back in the year 2020 with Dr. Necker demanding to check his systems thoroughly. He declined. This angered the good A.I.M. scientist who attempted to order the cyborg into compliance. This verbal fight was interrupted however as Death’s Head crashed through the overhead window! He immediately fired a lazer rifle at Minion’s face as he roared in his hollow-sounding voice about his stolen bounty! As Minion slowly arose, he told the robot to not resist. Confounded, the bountyhunter asked if he was serious. Minion then leapt at him, saying that Death’s Head was in fact his next target! The two tumbled to the ground with a heavy thud! Minion tried to gut Death’s Head with his bladed arm, but the bountyhunter was too fast and used his own blade to impale the cyborg! But Minion did connect next, nearly tearing half of the robot’s head off in one powerful swipe! Minion approached from the rear as Death’s Head tried to recover. Too late. The rest of his head was cut cleanly from his metal neck! Minion wasted no time in absorbing the robot’s skills and traits. That’s when he started to overload! His circuits were on fire! And then, he suddenly stopped. Minion looked to Dr. Necker and told her he was now leaving for his next target. But he spoke as Death’s spoke now, using his expressions! He then teleported away, without another word! Necker turned to a nearby technician and demanded to know the identity of the next name on the cyborg’s hit list. The man replied that he had gone to 1992 to murder Mr. Fantastic of the Fantastic Four! (Was anyone else reminded of Rock em’ Sock em’ Robots during the fight? To the exxxxtreme!)

To be continued…..

Dedicated to the memory of my father, Terry L. Miller. Thanks for buying me this storyline as a kid. It was worth mowing the lawn for after all. Goodbye, Dad.

The Gimmick Era Has Never Been Covered So Well.