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90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Let the Punishment Fit the Symbiote

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What happens when you mix two of comicdom’s most badass characters into one being? I don’t know. These never mixed Ambush Bug and Spider-Ham to my knowledge. But when they do, I’ll be the first in line to buy that bad boy! But this story’s about the Punisher if he wore the living costume, Venom, instead of Eddie Brock. (I know. I’m sad now too.) Enjoy, Unspokenites…..sob…..as we look back at “What If…?” #44. This particular issue poses the interesting question: “What if Venom Had Posessed the Punisher?”

The Punisher takes a break from his personal war to enter Our Lady of Saints church. He lights a candle out of respect for his wife and children that were slaughtered so long ago. The pain never seemed to fade. As he does this, he recalls spying Spider-Man swinging overhead as he’d entered. He thought back over how many times that the Wall-Crawler had interrupted and ruined his missions in his career as a lethal vigilante. Perhaps it was these very thoughts that made the “shadows” in the bell tower slowly stir. The darkness then sprang to the praying form of Frank Castle, enveloping him completely in inky blackness! He springs to his feet and leaves this place of worship. He enters an alleyway and, as the black substance begins to flow, the Punisher suddenly realizes that he’s in control of it! (Yeah. Frank Castle seems amused by this sudden intrusion to his very body. Anyone else would pee themselves and faint. You’ve gotta respect the Punisher. Tough bladder on that guy.)

Later, as the Punisher’s friend and ally, Microchip, begins researching what this strange new suit is and where it came from, Frank decides to take it on a little test run. He’s amazed by how it alters itself to look like different people as it changes the look of the clothes it creates. (People wearing symbiotes need to wear underwear. There. I’ve said it. So wrong!) This allows the Punisher to walk straight through a crowd, in broad daylight, to his intended target. He asks the man from behind if he’s the correct person. Annoyed, the target turns. But before he can open his mouth to complain, the Punisher lists off the man’s many crimes as he shape-shifts into his preferred form before the criminals widening eyes! The mobster tries to dissuade what’s coming next with lying words, but to no avail. Black fingertip claws cut through his terrified form before he can utter a complete sentence! The two goons on either side of the cooling corpse grab for their guns reflexively, not yet aware that their employer is no more! Punisher webs their guns and torsos up in a flash. Frank is disgusted by the webbing. Too Spider-Man like for his taste. He concentrates and bullet-like projectiles fire from his arms! Punisher smiles a fanged grin. Much better. He mows down the two others and makes a hasty escape!

Assuming that this new costume must be nothing more than a battle suit created by S.H.I.E.L.D. or something, Frank doesn’t worry too much as he continues his one man war against crime. But as he does so, he becomes more brutal and vicious against his prey. Not only does he barely notice, if he does, he doesn’t care. One day, as Spider-Man swings by, an old woman screams as he passes overhead. Confused, he stops and asks her why. She looks to his similar black costume with white symbol on the chest for a moment before answering in relief. She had thought that he was the Punisher. Spidey looks to his own costume and wonders about the matching alien costume that he had been forced to lead into a deadly trap within a church bell tower not so long ago. Blocks from this, Daredevil corners two thugs in Hell’s Kitchen but stops as the Punisher leaps by, from rooftop to rooftop. His superior senses pick up that somthing is amiss. He vows to look into it later. Frank returns to his lair and nods off. Exhausted. But the costume is far from tired. (See! Do you really want to wear something like this with no undees on underneath?)

Microchip bursts into the room. He begins telling Frank that he’s only been able to find scattered reports of Spider-Man being present at that church the night in question. He thinks that the Fantastic Four may have more info, but has been unable to crack their systems. (Well, duh. Stay in your pay grade there, Micro. That’s the big boys you’re messing with. Hell, Reed’s electric toothbrush is more advanced that your entire computer system I’d wager.) The Punisher silently stands, grabs Microchip by the face, and slams his head into the wall, leaving the poor man unconscious. The symbiote then strolls from the room, a sleeping Frank Castle safe within it’s protective shell! It laughs softly as it leaves the hideout. Moments later, Spidey investigates the bell tower in question. Unsatisfied, he turns to go. But that’s when he’s jumped by the symbiote! The fight lasts for nearly an hour. And all the while, the symbiote stays silent as it beats Spider-Man within an inch of his life! After pulling the hero from a brick wall, it raises the Wall-Crawler for a killing blow! Just then, Castle awakens! He quickly orders the alien to halt. Spider-Man may be a nuisance, but he’s not the enemy. It drops him and the Punisher leaps away. Spider-Man whispers to himself that he’s going to need some help against this foe.

Spider-Man arrives not too long after at the headquarters of the Fantastic Four. And though Mr. Fantastic isn’t there, the Thing is more than happy to help. Not only does the rock colossus lend out a sonic rifle, he gives Spidey a bit of advice. If he’s being mistaken for his enemy, maybe it’s time for a costume change. Spidey leaves with a plan forming in his mind. (Wow! The Thing had just gave out some good advice. Pretty smart for a dude that has to have rocks in his head…..literally. Bad joke. I apologize.) Meanwhile, Castle awakens only to be confronted by a frightened Microchip about striking him earlier that night. Frank remembers nothing of this and grows agitated. The symbiote covers his face as he leaves, stating he has work to do. He grows inky wings and hovers, in broad daylight, towards the home office of the Kingpin. He’d heard a man, named Tombstone, had recently begun work there and the Punisher means to introduce himself the hard way! Battling his way through the lower levels, he soon finds his prey. Tombstone tries to run, but too late! The Punisher grabs him and tears his head off with his massive fanged mouth! But why stop there? He begins to make his way to the top floor, to the office of the Kingpin himself!

The Punisher arrives in the private office of the nefarious Kingpin. But the large man just dismisses him and sends in Typhoid Mary to defend him! But who else is fighting for his life? Daredevil aids Mary in the fight! Not quite. He states that he’s only here to put a stop to all of this brutal killing. But this only serves to enrage Castle further as he fires upon hero an villain alike! But as this fight continues, neither combatant notices a small strand of symbiotic tendril snake it’s way to the Kingpin across the floor! Castle then leaps from the window, leaving Daredevil and Typhoid Mary alone with a very dead Wilson Fisk! (Damn! Can you imagine the thunderous sound of a guy that big falling dead to the floor above your apartment? I’d complain to the landlord. Wait. He probably was the landlord. Never mind.) The Punisher didn’t return home that night. There was more killing to do.

The next night, the Punisher returned to the place where this all began, Our Lady of Saints. But he wasn’t alone. Spider-Man, Daredevil, and Moon Knight awaited him! The heroes tried to talk reason, but their words fell upon deaf ears! Frank Castle sprang at the trio! The symbiote was now in complete control! And what it saw was it’s enemy, Spider-Man, with new allies to hurt it! The assembled heroes tried their best. But the symbiote was way to strong and skilled for them! As it knocked them all aside, it spied the bell tower! Remembering it’s past pain in this place, it sends several tendrils around the tower and crushed the entire structure with ease! As it smiled with glee at its destruction, Spidey tore free a concealed, webbed up sonic rifle! Wasting no time, the Wall-Crawler fires point blank! The intense sound tore at the symbiote as it roared in anguish! But it didn’t tear free of Frank Castle! The two were bonded! The Punisher looked to Spider-Man and thanked him. He then pulled a sidearm and quickly fired at the sonic rifle, destroying it! (Anyone else confused? Thought so. You see, not only is Frank Castle a complex character, but the symbiote is really, really pissy. Better?)

Frank Castle stood there then, staring blankly, as if he were in a deep trance. And truth be told, he was. He imagined himself back in the Vietnam War and forward to more recent days. And as this dream progressed, he was hunted by a fanged shadow. The symbiote. Frank knew now what it was and that it was trying to assume complete control! Not on his watch! It was then that Castle made the alien know who was boss mentally. He made a deal with it. If the creature obeyed his commands without question, he’d let it live. A single moment passed. The Punisher awoke. He looked to the other vigilantes and said that it was all over. The symbiote worked for him now! And before they could question his words more that a little, the Punisher grew black, leathery wings and flew off. He knew that he’d won this day. He was confident in that. The other heroes would just have to deal with that fact and accept him at his word. Otherwise, if they wanted to pursue him, he’d be waiting. And hell would be waiting with him.

End.

Dedicated to my son, James Christian Miller, who has proven himself to be more of a superhero than any character I’ve ever read about. I love you.

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Ghost in the Machine (part 4 of 4)

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Apologies for the tardiness on this last part of my Death’s Head II series. I’ve been spending some time with my son and his daughter as of late, doing my fatherly/grandfatherly duties. The visit lasted around four days, and I can tell you Unspokenites one thing about my granddaughter…..Banshee and Black Canary have nothing on a pissed off one year old! Damn! That girl has some pipes! (The only difference is a slight height difference and a pee-soaked diaper!) Anyway, explanations aside, let us return to our favorite cyborg, already in action…..

It is the year 2020 AD and the world is a war-torn, desolate place. Only a very small group of freedom fighters stand in the path of the one who corrupted this planet to the state it’s currently in. The Punisher leads the charge with Daredevil, Spider-Man and Doctor Strange following. In the past, this unlikely team would be more than enough to best any evil foe. Now? The odds don’t look very good. Charnel’s demonic drones surrounded the heroes! But twenty years of constant fighting had taught them how to hit back even harder. Back-to-back, the heroes fired at the creatures. The fight was going well until Spider-Man’s spider-sense went wild, warning him of danger! The evil warlord, Charnel, now stood before them! The monster began by taunting the heroes. But this meant nothing to the Sorcerer Supreme as he hit the creature with magic blast after blast! Charnel laughed as he used his own magic power to meet this mighty attack! Daredevil orders Spider-Man to swing off, following their plan! The wall-crawler does so with zero hesitation! That’s when a an energy blast of epic proportions hit the ground surrounding them! The Punisher turned to see his once-rival, Daredevil, drop and breathe no more! (Damn! Bleak much? Let’s stop here to sing a rousing battle song for our brave, fighting heroes. Who knows the words to Hansen’s “MmmBop”? Don’t lie.)

Enraged, the Punisher pulled Daredevil’s corpse to him and fired straight at the enemy as he roared in defiance! The next to fall was Doctor Strange. Charnel pushed his own powers back at him along with his own, atomizing the mage! The Punisher looked defeated. That was until he saw Spider-Man swinging up behind the villain! He carried a small, metallic disc with him. Spidey threw it to Punisher just before Charnel murdered him too! The beast demanded that Frank Castle give the device to him immediately! Instead, he threw the disc some distance where it was out of the madmans’ reach! The Punisher pulled a blade and charged Charnel! That was his last stand. (Poor Punisher. He died like he wanted to, though. Trying to knife a dude that just shrugged off the strongest attacks from the godlike Doctor Strange…..Duh, Frank!) Charnel takes his leave of the massacre minutes later. A large hand uncovers the disc minutes after that and takes it to his heroic friends and fellow soldiers. He was once a supervillain called the Rhino. But war makes for strange bedfellows and he was now an Avenger. Rhino waited to be let into the secret bunker of what remained of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Wolverine let the hulking man in, asking if he had the device. Rhino assured the mutant that it was right where they he was told to find it. Wolverine asked about the other heroes. The Rhino looked down, giving his reply without words.

Rhino came to stand with his arm around She-Hulk. The others surrounding the meeting table were the Scarlet Witch, Captain America, and an orb that held a fleshy blob that was once the leader of the Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic. That was before Charnel punished the scientist with his dark sorcery! Wolverine came to a halt to stand by the others as the meeting began. The plan was a simple one as plans went. The disc was a time travel device. Using it, some of them would travel to 1992, the time that Charnel was born, and end him. If all went well, this nightmarish time period would cease to exist! Mr. Fantastic wished the superheroes his best as the battle cry was given, “Avengers, assemble.” And with those rousing words, (Much better than “MmmBop.”) the group teleported backwards through time! Meanwhile, in 1992, Death’s Head stood with Dr. Evelyn Necker and Tuck as they scanned their surroundings. Once, this was a busy shopping mall. That was before a mysterious fire burned it to the ground and A.I.M. purchased the land dirt cheap. They were currently looking for the creature that had already converted one A.I.M. headquarters into a place of literal nightmares. But before they could get much of a feel for the barren area, Death’s Head was suddenly jumped from behind by the Wolverine of 2020! The mutant sliced through the cyborg’s back and out of his stomach area with his razor-sharp, unbreakable claws!

Death’s Head formed a high-tech cannon out of his liquid metal arm to retaliate, but Logan rammed his claws to a space by the barrel to stop it from firing! The result was one of Wolverine’s adamantium claws snapping completely off! (Unbreakable metal my amazing butt! What? I’ll have you know that I used to have quite the tight little derriere back in the day. Umm…..moving on whilst blushing profusely……) Logan stalled only momentarily before moving to strike once more! That was when Captain America’s commanding voice rang out to halt his attack. This creature wasn’t Charnel. The Avengers and Death’s Head’s group spend the next few minutes explaining who they are and describing their missions. As it seems that both teams want this Charnel creature dead, an alliance is formed. Good thing too. Because that was when Charnel chose to arrive! The first thing he did was take down the Scarlet Witch. She-Hulk leaped to attack next! She was caught in massive hands, her powerful neck broken quickly! Rhino charged the monstrous Charnel next! But the brute was only backhanded away like he was no more than a mere insect! Captain America’s body broke the titan’s fall! Death’s Head ran towards his enemy with a charging weapon/arm, but the cyborg missed his energy shot only to be hit by dark magical energies!

Wolverine leaped into Charnel’s waiting, clawed hands, slashing wildly as Captain America threw his iconic shield! The weapon cut off the villain’s arm, forcing him to drop Wolverine! Death’s Head then reemerged on the battlefield and joined Wolverine and Captain America in their brutal fight! Rhino shook what remained of the cobwebs from his head and charged Charnel once again! That’s when Tuck noticed someone else trying to stand in the rubble! Dodging the fight, she found the very much alive form of the Scarlet Witch! Tuck helped her stand as she hit the madman with everything she had! But big mistake! Charnel absorbed her strange, magical energies and merged them with his own!He then unleashed a wave of power that incinerated Cap, Logan, and Rhino as he grew to the size of a true titan! As the beast cackled, Death’s Head whispered a battle plan into the Witch’s ear. He then roared for Charnel to face him! The villain, amused, complied. Death’s Head leaped onto Charnel’s large form and yelled down that the moment was now! The Scarlet Witch blasted the time disc within Death’s Head’s hands, duplicating it! The cyborg then placed a device on either side of the monster’s body, activating both discs simultaneously! Charnel quite literally ripped in half as the cybernetic hero fell to the rubble beneath! (Yeah. I’m as confused as you are. But that action scene…..shall we say…..excited me?)

When questioned by Dr. Necker, Death’s Head answered that he had sent both halves of Charnel to completely different time periods! The result was an agonizing death! The Scarlet Witch merely smiled as she simply ceased to be. The cyborg then continued that Charnel was Necker’s fault in a way. Perhaps she should think better of it before acting like God in the future. As for the money she had promised him? He doubted she’d ever have payed it. He then turned to leave, the loyal Tuck beside him. Moments later, the superheroes from this period in time arrived to see what was causing their advanced instruments to go haywire as they registered the recent, epic battle. They only found reports of a stolen semi truck speeding from the area. Death’s Head and Tuck raced away in the large vehicle, ready for whatever adventure might find them next!

End.

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Ghost in the Machine (part 2 of 4)

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I have survived. Though I found myself in mortal danger, I live on. After a near-fatal Funko Pop avalanche, I crawled out from beneath the collectible rubble to press on and give you my comprehensive look back at “Death’s Head II” #2 by Marvel Comics. Only light injuries were sustained. (So…..much…..Disney….! I only slightly blame Mrs. Symbifan for her addiction. I have also been advised to tell you that I collect Funkos too and should probably just shut my trap. ) Moving on…..

It is the year 1992 and lightning strikes ominously as the Minion cyborg suddenly appears in a grungy back alley in New York City. Energy crackles from his metallic form as he constructs a deadly weapon out of the liquid metal in his right arm by sheer will. The cyborg is now ready to continue its mission. It will kill and assimilate the mind of one Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four! At that exact moment, Mr. Richards sits in a fancy, French restaurant, awaiting the arrival of his lovely wife, Sue. He looks up as the waiter appears with a phone. Mr. Fantastic takes it with a small thank you and answers. It’s Sue. It seems that she’ll be late for the date as she’s currently being held up at a charity event. He replies for her to take her time as he hangs up, amused. For once, she’s the late party. (For those of you that don’t know, Reed’s a crappy husband. He’d rather invent new technologies than satisfy his wife’s needs. Now, the sexy, aquatic monarch, Namor, wants Sue for his very own. So, emotionally cold but genius husband, or kingly and powerful bad boy. Let’s take a vote. Come on, ladies!)

Reed raised his water glass to his lips to drink, but is interrupted by the sudden appearance of a sexy, redhead dressed in strange garb and toting an enormous gun! She tells him that she’s Dr. Evelyn Necker from the year 2020 and that to live, he must do exactly as she says! Before Richards can question her further, Minion enters the restaurant, tossing staff aside like rag dolls as it advances on his target! Minion fires! But Necker pulls Reed to the floor and returns fire! She connects, stunning the powerful construct momentarily! She then rises to her feet to fire a killing shot! But this opportunity is taken away from her as Mr. Fantastic pulls the rifle from her grasp! He demands she stop firing in such a confined place with civilians present and that they take this fight elsewhere. Begrudgingly, she complies. Minion continuse to open fire as they race out the door! (Well, Necker had Minion dead to rights, but Mr. Goody-two-shoes had to ruin it. And the award for dumbass of the year goes to……) Forcing a cabbie from his vehicle, they get in and race off! But the cyborg won’t be dismissed so easily. It leaps and drops in front of the cab! Richards hits the gas, hitting Minion full force! Seconds pass and Minion rises from the street with a slightly annoyed look.

As the vehicle races through New York traffic, the Minion cyborg follows, running at super velocity! Cracking the pavement beneath its powerful footfall, it nearly catches up! And all the while, it fires blast after blast at the fleeing duo! As Reed tries to out-maneuver the shots, he demands an explanation from Necker. She reveals that it’s out to murder him and then absorb his superior intellect. How does she know this? Because she programmed it! It’s already done so with over one hundred victims, but it’s been acting uncontrollable since killing and absorbing the mind of the robotic Death’s Head. Just then, Minion catches up to the cab! But before it can attack, Richards sideswipes it into a lamppost and it tumbles into a store window! Glass explodes everywhere! The now-damaged cab speeds away! (Damn! Maybe old Reed needs to be taught a lesson by Minion. I mean, look at the mess he’s creating! Move the fight away from innocent bystanders my ass! Superheroes. Am I right?) Back in A.I.M. headquarters in the year 2020, a young man named Spratt, a sometimes-sidekick to Death’s Head, walks through the advanced lab, seemingly undetected as an outsider. He wears the uniform of a lowly A.I.M agent as he pushes Death’s Head’s remains down an empty corridor. As he walks, he vows to bring his friend back, no matter the cost!

Meanwhile, at the Fantastic Four’s base of operations, the Thing passes by a television set and happens to see the news as a frantic reporter recounts the recent events involving Mr. Fantastic, an unknown redheaded woman, and a superpowered attacker! Shocked, the Thing readies himself for action! As this is going on, Sue has finally arrived at the restaurant only to see the carnage! She pleads with the waiter as to her husband’s whereabouts! The man replies nervously about the pretty woman and the robotic assailant. (Ooooooh! Reed’s gonna be in trouble! Hehehe! Sorry. That was very juvenile of me…..He’s gonna get it! Hehehe!) Back to the action! Necker retrieves her firearm only to see that it’s damaged beyond repair. So instead, she throws an explosive at the gaining cyborg to slow it down! But shrapnel hits the taxi’s back tires and gas tank! This sends it spinning as it smokes! Mr. Fantastic wraps his rubber arms around Dr. Necker and rolls from the vehicle just as it explodes! Hearing a gravely voice, both look up to see the Thing sitting upon a hovering vehicle close by! The Thing asks for an explanation. Reed tells the large, rocky behemoth that, in short, the cyborg wants him dead. That’s all that Ben Grimm needed to hear. The Thing slowly approaches the cyborg as it walks towards him, through the flames!

The Thing doesn’t get too close however as Minion blasts him with his cannon arm! The rocky superhero pulls himself back to his feet and takes the cannon in both of his gigantic hands! He then crushes the weapon! Unfazed by this, Minion forms a blade-arm from where the cannon once was! Sensing that this fight might take him longer than expected, Ben orders the other two to take his vehicle and flee. Unsure at first, they finally comply. (That’s right, Mr. Grimm. Maybe this’ll teach you to only refer to people by nicknames for like ever! I’m sorry. I just can’t stand the Thing. How hard is it to remember three other people’s names after all of this damn time I ask you? Sheesh!) The Thing hits the cyborg assassin with two good punches, actually drawing blood! But Minion merely picks up the titan and throws him backwards off of the bridge they’ve been standing on and onto a passing boat far, far below! Minion, now satisfied there will be no more interference, continues searching for it’s prey!

A short time later, back at Mr. Fantastic’s lab, Necker lays Minion’s origins out for the superhero in the hopes that the explanation will help in stopping the killing machine. That’s when it hits him. Yes, Minion was built to assassinate and absorb the skills of several hundred organic hosts, but Death’s Head was mechanical! And if Richards didn’t miss his guess, the Death’s Head personality was inside and fighting for dominance of the cyborg’s mind. This would cause increased hostility and confusion. (Umm. Yes. I surmised this myself. Cough. -Clears throat.- Actually, I had no idea. But I love the pretty colors.) Reed immediately begins work on a device meant to force the robotic bountyhunter’s consciousness into the driver’s seat permanently! Less than an hour passes. The Human Torch comes home from a night out on the city, but is instead met at the door by Minion! Before the Torch can fully power up, he’s knocked out with a strong backhand! Minion enters the Fantastic Four’s HQ with ease! But when it makes it’s way into the lab area, it’s met with an energy burst that stops the cyborg in its tracks! Slowly, after a couple of minutes, it rises again. Only this time, it’s speaking like Death’s Head! The invention was a complete success! Death’s Head walks towards a nearby console and downloads all known knowledge on, Reed Richards, eliminating the need to kill him! He then turns and says his farewells before teleporting away! An annoyed and shocked Dr. Evelyn Necker does the same soon after.

Elsewhere, Spratt awaits a visitor with knowledge that can hopefully help bring his friend back. The man enters the room, announcing himself as Baron Strucker the 5th! He then strikes at poor Spratt, knocking the young man flying. Strucker approaches the remains of Death’s Head’s corpse with delight. He examines it closely and exclaims that with it under his command, A.I.M will pay and his family’s name will be avenged!

To be continued…..