Howdy y’all! It’s me, that danged varmit, Symbifan! Yep. I’m back with that part two y’all were waitin’ fer! So, sit on back, get yerself comfy, and lissen while I dish out them fancy word-vittles yer all a wantin’! (Yep. That energy drink has definitely screwed with my brain.)
As we return to our Elseworlds tale, we find Superman and Lana Lang embracing within a hidden sewer tunnel after so very long apart. (Does anyone else think ol’ Clark should have chosen Lana over Lois like me? Lana always seemed to love Clark, Clark. Not Superman. Clark. Lois never seemed interested unless he was decked out in blue spandex. This says all kinds of things about her sexually. But alas…..) They emerge into a hidden complex where the heroes and their small army of human resistance fighters are training for battle.
To say things aren’t going well would be an understatement. Batman is training everyone much too hard in hand-to-hand combat, The Flash is firing at falling debris with a handgun at super-speed but panics and emotionally shuts down when the situation calls for him to run, and Green Lantern seems too grim and fierce. It seems like he simply wants this war to end so he can die. (Those are our heroes folks. Kind of dark and depressing, huh? Yep. It’s like someone slapped them all with the Marvel Comics stick repeatedly!)The upside is when the mouthy and cocky Superboy spears with Wonder Woman. All seems to be going well until the young hero actually plants one on a surprised Amazonian princess! She clocks him so hard that you’d swear his head’s gonna snap clean off!
It’s then that Metallex makes his appearance and scares the holy hell out of Lana! (Dude does kind of look like a freaking terminator. I’d wet my panties too!) The robot scans her for hidden listening or tracking devices. Satisfied she’s clean, he and Superman talk war plans and about finding and rescuing the missing Lois Lane. To this, Lana interjects that she’s been doing some undercover work and may just be able to reunite the two love birds tomorrow night! They make plans to meet in front of the debris that once was the Daily Planet building.
The next night, the Super Seven enter the wreckage of the once proud city of Metropolis. Scouting ahead and moving carefully, they head to the meeting place. They are stopped suddenly by the cries of a frantic Lana Lang. She screams that it’s a trap! And a trap it is! A large force of Horde warriors teleport in and surround them! Wasting no time, the heroes charge into action! Their training may have been messy and unorganized, but in battle? They work as a well-oiled machine! The sight is awe-inspiring! The Justice League truly lives on, even in times as dark as this. Especially in times as dark as this. (That’s right, kiddies! The big guns are back and they’re mad as hell! Nerdgasm alert!)
Yes. All seems to be going amazingly! That is except for The Flash. He freezes in horror at the very thought of running in battle again. (Yeah. To be honest, this does get kinda old throughout the story. Man up, you wuss! Oh, yeah. He can’t hear me. Come to think of it, I should stop talking aloud anyway.) While the battle rages on, Superman swoops Lana up in his arms and gets her to safety, by Jimmy Olson. It’s then that a Horde soldier makes a mistake. It begins to try and protect Lana! She orders the Hordesman to stop this and treat her as if she were the enemy! Yes, it seems as if Lana Lang is in fact a traitor! (Okay, let me go on record here by saying that Clark should be with Lana instead of Lois in the NORMAL reality. Not this Elseworlds story. See. So my early comment is still correct as I see it. Whew! I almost looked foolish there!)
Jimmy pulls a gun, kills the horde member, and then aims it at her! He says that he’d rather kill her and have Superman think him the traitor than let him think his childhood sweetheart was in fact the backstabber. But alas, he cannot force himself to pull the trigger. Lana teleports away just as Wonder Woman arrives. Having seen and heard everything from above, she tries to comfort him. This doesn’t last for long though as a Horde soldier emerges and fires at Jimmy! A true heroine to the last, Wonder Woman takes the shot in his place! She dies soon after Green Lantern smashes the enemy. (No! You’re too important to the world to die like this! I ask you, who’s really gonna miss Jimmy “goofy bowtie” Olson? Exactly! Not even his mama!)
Before the heroes can begin to comprehend what has just happened, a Horde ship descends from the heavens. A holographic figure and booming voice are seen and heard by everyone in Metropolis. It is the supreme ruler of the Horde! He tells the people how disappointed he is in them for allowing this little metahuman skirmish to happen and that tomorrow, every last man, woman, and child within the shielded city will perish in retaliation! (Wow! Talk about a punishment! And I thought being grounded from my Nintendo for a month was a living hell! Granted, my punishment did last longer by comparison so, draw your own conclusions as to who suffered more!)
The group escapes into a safe house to rethink their situation. While they do this, Superboy decides to go catch some Z’s elsewhere. He is soon met by Batman. He discusses attempting a secret mission that only involves the two of them. Happy to please, the youth agrees. That’s when Batman gasses him from a compartment within one of his gauntlets! We next see Batman, within Horde armor, attempting to gain entrance into a Horde ship with his metahuman prisoner! After some typical Batman persuasion, he and Superboy’s unconscious form are teleported within! (I hate to point out the obvious Star Wars plan here. You know where Han and Luke dress as stormtroopers and pretend Chewie’s their prisoner to gain access into the Death Star? God, what have I been doing with my life? Sob…… Psyche! A nerd’s life is the life for me!)
When aboard, Batman quickly disposes of the Horde armor. He then gasses the unconscious Superboy with an antidote, waking him immediately. Before the youth can pose a question, Batman reveals that the power to the shield over Metropolis is contained within this very vessel! They quickly locate the power source and spring into action against a legion of Horde warriors! They do well but the size of the enemy force finally gets the better of them. Superboy is forced through a window by Horde soldiers while Batman finally is overtaken. But, before he breathes his last, he presses a button concealed underneath the bat insignia on his chest. The explosion that follows sends the craft smashing into a nearby skyscraper! The shield falls soon after! (Rest in peace, Batman. Why, oh why didn’t you carry your aerosol can of Bat Horde Repellent that day? Why?!)
Superboy returns with the news of Batman’s sacrifice but Superman has already called the heroes into action. The Horde has come to make good on their threat! The Super Seven make their final stand. Each of the remaining heroes fights like a champion. Showing no fear, they battle on like the Horde has never seen! Metallex is the next to fall. Once again it is only the number of enemies rather than their fighting prowess that wins the fight. Green Lantern fights like a man posessed! Using his inner demons as fuel, he incinerates Horde soldiers by the handful! But, he is so full of rage that he fails to see a golden arrow launched at his back! Seeing this, the Flash battles his own inner demons and runs like never before towards his friend and ally! The arrow strikes home and the Flash dies instantly. He dies a hero. (Damn! Who wrote this, George R. R. Martin? People be droppin’ like flies!)
Superman and Superboy manage to make it into the Horde mothership undeterred. They fly through the corridors until they suddenly find themselves in front of the leader of the Horde forces himself! The ruler of the invading force stands in full battle armor. To his right stands Lana Lang in the shadows! Superman mistakenly thinks it to be his beloved Lois. It’s then that she steps into the light and reveals herself. It is also revealed that Lois perished ten years ago! She has it out with Superman, that if he had only shown her any interest since the team’s formation, no one would have been killed! Before much can be said in return, the Horde commander disintegrates her with a wave of his armored hand! (Talk about jealousy! You know, I’m starting to think Lana might just be a bad person…..)
The outraged heroes fly into action! But before the fight can truly begin, Metallexs’ still form falls to the ground from above. It’s then that the kryptonite heart lowers from another panel in the ceiling, right over the already weakening Superman! Superboy goes into a fighting frenzy! He beats the surprised alien from one end of the room to the other! But before victory is his, the Horde commander hits the young hero with a powerful hand blast! He then walks forward to finish him…..only to be impaled through the heart from behind by Metallex! The Horde leader is dead! Sadly, upon closer examination, it’s revealed that Superman is as well. Lana calls to the young hero. Surprisingly still alive but quickly dying, she whispers that Superman can still live. Moments later, Superman flies through the top of the Horde mothership in all of his glory! The corpse of his enemy held over his head, he exclaims to the now halted battling masses that the ruler of the Horde is dead! In that very instant, everything changed.
Time passes. The new Superman meets Metallex atop a high building. Before the boy can say much, the once Lex Luthor tells him that he doesn’t care that he didn’t get the credit for finally defeating the enemy. After all, the world needs it’s symbols. They bring it hope and hope is what the human race will need. Green Lantern makes a brief appearance as well. He’s been doing better with his anger and guilt. In fact, he is wearing his old costume and plans on finding and training the next generation of superheroes. When he leaves to do so, Superman goes to leave as well. He is halted by the veiled threat from the former villain. To remember that there can only be one man of steel in the city of Metropolis. Also, that he just finished killing the most powerful man on the planet. He’ll have no problem doing it again. (What did we expect? This is Lex friggin’ Luthor we’re talking about here!) If these words bother the new Man of Steel, he doesn’t show it. He simply smiles and flies off…..up, up, and away into the future!
My next dedication may be surprised that I have chosen him. I’ve chosen to dedicate this article to my brother, Eric James Miller. Not just because he loves this story and has read and re-read it more that even I, but because this story has reminded me that the future is uncertain and, though we have our differences, you should never take a loved one for granted. Life really is too brief.
End.
Whazzzz upppp?! (I’m sorry! There is no, and I mean no excuse for that intro!) It’s me again, Symbifan! I’m here to deliver my musings once again to you, my favorite retro-junkies, pertaining to the exciting subject of 1990’s comic books! And, boy oh boy, are you in for a treat! That’s right! Besides the honored privilege of reading my words, you are about to be transported to another dimension! But it’s not a bright and sparkling one. No. It is one of pain and tragedy. Welcome to one of the infinite number of realities that make up DC’s Elseworlds! So strap in tight and prepare yourselves. This one’s a doozy!
He calls himself Grend’ll. Grend’ll decrees that one thousand humans will be slaughtered every time a being with powers is sighted, five thousand should they dare to even raise a fist against his people! Coast City becomes their killing ground. Green Lantern wastes no time in attacking with a small group of heroes. They succeed in retaking the city but over seven million people are executed as promised. One is a reporter. Her name was Lois Lane! The story of “Ghost City”, as this event was later called, is not forgotten. The Horde need do nothing now but sit back and watch. (Man, E.T. got downright vindictive after his movie career went down the toilet, huh?)
This did not go as expected. The entirety of this human resistance party was easily extinguished! There were no survivors. Lex Luthor himself was killed by Grend’ll himself, his corpse left on display to remind others of what would happen should this ecer be attempted again. The message was received. There was never another uprising. (Let us take a moment to mourn the loss of not only these brave resistance fighters, but Lex Luthor’s long red hair and beard from the 90’s. R.I.P.)
Nine years have passed. Jimmy Olsen sits in an alleyway with others, warming his hands over a fire within an old metal barrel. He speaks to the others of his race of change, of revolution. These words don’t fall upon deaf ears. No, they are heard. The problem is that they are heard by the enemy! A clawed hand belonging to a Horde soldier throws Jimmy to the ground, a large lazer-rifle aimed at his face! But, before the trigger is pulled, the soldier is halted by the words of a superior officer. Strangely enough, that officer is human!
We next visit what seems to be a prison and a familiar-looking guard that sports a broken pair of glasses. He calls himself Clark Small and he’s about to have a shocking reunion. As he walks the prison corridors, he’s ordered by a Horde guard to enter a nearby room for a visitation of some sort. Confused, he enters a sees Jimmy Olsen and Lana Lang. The Horde guards are ordered to leave the room by Councillor Lang as she will see to this reunion between brothers personally. Once alone, the secret to Clark’s identity as Superman is discussed (Jimmy didn’t know! Seriously? He looks shocked when Lana tells him! Oh wait! He WAS wearing glasses. Okay. That explains it. Moving on. Hehehe…..) and the reasons as to why he hasn’t been fighting the “good fight”.
Later, Superman and Jimmy Olsen ponder their present circumstances. Superman asks if Jimmy knows if other heroes are still active and if they’d be willing to join their cause. Jimmy States that Batman is known to still be fighting but in secret and that he knows where the third Flash, Wally West, is hiding. However, he doubts Wally would be willing, as he was nearly crippled by an angry mob. Just then, they are interrupted by the sudden appearance of Wonder Woman! (Great hiding place, fellas! I mean, Wonder Woman says that she only found them due to the words of magical Greek oracles. Me? I think that it’s more like the “animal-like attraction” between Supes and Double W. Call me crazy, but if he is “super” in all ways, why not “super-sexiness”? Let that sink in…..) Without hesitation, she joins the cause!
Batman is found soon after. He is found by the trio after blowing up a Horde-controlled oil refinery in Texas. He stops what resembles a “Bat-Tank” in its tracks when Superman lands in front of it. Batman asks after a bitter exchange, “Tell me, do you bleed?” (HA! I got you! That was from the movie! It was just too easy! Uh. Anyway…..) What’s really said is that Batman accuses Superman and Wonder Woman of abandoning the Earth while he’s been fighting continuously for ten years. He doesn’t say whether he’ll join or not, but grumbles something about having their fun for now with their “little war” and that they’ll abandon them all again when it ceases to be fun. (Uh! Batman needs to lighten up! It’s like he’s PMS personified!) He then drives away, leaving the heroes in the dust.
The next stop is Coast City, or “Ghost City”, as it is now called. When the heroes arrive, they are met with a scene that angers them. They witness a man in green, attempting to bury the bones of one of the unlucky ones from the attack so long ago. He is besieged by Horde graverobbers of some sort that are toying with him as he sets about his grim work. This will not stand! The heroes get to work defending him. As they begin, they are interrupted by the appearance of a boy in his teens, wearing a leather jacket and sporting the Superman symbol upon his chest! The boy makes quick work of the aliens but they are finished off by the sudden arrival of Batman! It seems the Dark Knight has changed his mind! (Big surprise! Glory hound!)
The boy begins to get a bit mouthy with Wonder Woman. She uses her staff to put the cocky teen in his place, on the ground! This moment is interrupted however as they hear the man in green as he recites the name and profession of the owner of the bones he is carefully laying within the dirt. (This moment’s sad. I’d take this time to listen to some uplifting music as you read this paragraph. I suggest “So What” by Metallica. Trust me. Hehehe!) Superman tells the man that he knows him to be the Green Lantern. After a moving pep talk from the Man of Steel, the man speaks the solemn oath of the Green Lantern Corps aloud as he powers up! And just like that, another great hero joins our motley band! The boy isn’t quite as lucky. It is agreed that he is too young and reckless to be of help and he is forcibly removed by the Green Lantern’s emerald power beam.
Next on the list is Wally West. The man in question walks to the outer door to his apartment and turns the key. As he does so, a familiar ring with a lightning bolt upon it is seen. When he opens the door, he is met with the group of superheroes, already inside! The look on his face is one of shock and then fear. He stammers that his hero days are behind him and shows them mechanical braces upon both legs that allow him to walk to further illustrate his point. It’s then that Superman illustrates a point of his own. He throws a bunch of large books directly at Wally, all of which are caught at super speed!
Finally, our group heads stealthily to Metropolis. When they arrive, they’re met with Horde soldiers’ bodies lying everywhere and a very smug and familiar superpowered youth leaning against a wall, surrounded by them! Unimpressed, Batman scolds him that many others of the Horde must have escaped the youth’s onslaught and that many would surely die now in retribution! (Uh-oh! Looks like a certain Superboy is in need of a bat-spanking!) It’s decided to take the boy with them to the Resistance HQ, before he gets in any more trouble.
But Luthor, or Metallex as he now calls himself, wishes no harm to the Last Son of Krypton. He wishes to join them because he is, after all, a human being too. (More or less.) It is then, that the superheroes put their differences aside with the one-time supervillain. The superteam of the future has now officially been born! The Horde will rue the day that they ever heard of the Super Seven!
This article is dedicated to my daughter, Jade Leigh Miller. Though we have had our hardships, my love for you has never waned. I will love you until I breathe my last. You are and will forever be my little Supergirl.
The Unspoken Decade: 90's Comic Book Blog Extraordinaire 