Tag Archives: dc

90s Comics, 90s DC, DC Comics, Uncategorized

Frag it! We’re Doin’ Lobo! (part 2 of 4)

Leave a comment

Welcome back, Legions of the Unspoken! I apologize for the delay in getting part two of this series out to you. I know you’ve all been dying for the sequel. So, without further ado, I give you the Main Man himself…..

At the moment, Lobo stands outside of his door at the seediest motel in the worst part of the galaxy. He looks down at a small, yellow humanoid that he calls Gus. He warns Gus that his prisoner is within the room and that she’s to remain there while he makes a quick call. If all doesn’t go to plan, poor Gus will suffer for it. Oddly enough, Gus agrees with a smile. Lobo walks past him and locates the nearest communication device. He rings the bell at the front desk impatiently. The clerk appears shortly with an attitude. Seconds later, Lobo uses the communicator with the rude clerk’s blood still drying on his fists! (Let’s take this moment to appreciate Lobo’s act of mercy here. His calming meditation classes are really paying off! After all, he didn’t torture the guy before gutting him.)

Within moments, the Main Man is patched through to Vril Dox at L.E.G.I.O.N headquarters. Lobo complains about having to constantly check in on this god-awful mission. This is ignored while Dox repeats once again that the prisoner is to remain alive. He then terminates the call. Lobo suddenly spies an angry man standing next to him. The man complains that others need to use the phone too. Lobo walks away a moment later, fresh blood dripping from his hook. (Okay. So maybe the classes aren’t working that splendidly.) He returns to his room only to see that Gus is no longer standing guard outside! Lobo kicks in the door and scans the room. Empty! Cursing, he heads out in search of the foolish duo. Meanwhile, on Oneida VI, the local law enforcement agency plan the Last Czarnian’s demise for his recent murder of one of their officers! At that precise moment, the thugs from the diner the night before plot their own revenge as they search for Lobo and his elderly prisoner as well!

Following their trail, he locates them at a nearby ballet! Grumbling, Lobo enters the audience. Looking down from a higher vantage point, he spy’s them in the crowd. Lobo yells downwards at the unlikely pair but his voice is drowned out. Gus looks to Miss Tribb and exclaims how excited he is for Lobo to arrive. He had no idea that he liked dancing so much until the former school teacher told him so. (Fool! The old lady’s playing you, Gus! Let’s have a preemptive moment of silence for poor old Gus.) The ballet begins with automatic machine gun fire and heads being lopped off by chainsaws! Miss Tribb exclaims that she had no idea that this show was going to be so violent. Lobo stops to admire the carnage on stage before dropping from the balcony! He lands right atop Gus’s small form, crushing the smaller being to paste! (No! Gusssss!!!) Lobo grabs Tribb by the hair and begins to drag her through the crowd. That’s when he notices the audience cheering him!

Lobo ignores all of this, however. That is until a single bullet whizzes by his ear! He turns slowly and sees that the performers on stage are aiming their many weapons right at him! They’re actually angry that they’ve just been upstaged! Lobo pushes Miss Tribb away and approaches the angry dancers. What happens next is pure, unhinged violence at its best. The dancers attack the Main Man with everything they’ve got, but using just his hook, Lobo stands triumphant at the end! A pile of mangled performer corpses lies piled hehind him as he walks away, Miss Tribb thrown over his shoulder! (You don’t mess with stage nerds. They always be packin’!) The audience applauds as he strolls out of the theatre, a grin on his face. Elsewhere, the Sons of Lobo biker gang have overheard the diner ruffians discuss harming their idol! They fly off in search of the coming bloodbath. In a different sector of space, the police are waiting for Lobo to pass by them themselves. As the last factions prepare, the angry grannies approach the same spot within their titanic warship!

Later, Lobo and Miss Tribb fly through space upon Lobo’s space hawg. Tribb’s legs seem to be amputated! She scolds the Main Man for overreacting and states that she’ll just regenerate her missing limbs. Lobo replies that at least she can’t run off for a little while. Back at L.E.G.I.O.N headquarters, Vril Dox stares at a large viewing screen that shows all of the converging parties with Lobo right in the middle! He smiles as he whispers that everything’s going exactly to plan!

To be continued…..

90s Comics, 90s DC, DC Comics, Uncategorized

Behold the Blazing Angel (part 4 of 4)

Leave a comment

Well, here we are! The finale of my look back at the “Batman: Sword of Azrael” miniseries is here at last! And just in time for Thanksgiving too. So, when you’re stressed out from trying to get along with relatives you’ve hardly met (And some you wish you hadn’t met period!) this holiday season, why not grab yourself a turkey leg, sit back, and read my entertaining article? I’ll be back with another bit of my writing to save you Unspokenites from the horrors of Christmas next. Promise.

Armed men with savage guard dogs approached Azrael with violence in their eyes! They order the Avenging Angel to freeze as they run up to him. He does not. When the first man’s dog gets close enough, it’s quickly beheaded by the blazing blade from Azrael’s gauntlet! His owner runs to the animal’s corpse, but is stabbed by the same weapon through the chest! Alfred leaves the safety of the vehicle, pleading that this bloody violence is not needed. Nomoz verbally disagrees, in obvious appreciation of the grisly scene. Five more thugs and another guard dog encircle Azrael. Just as they close in, Azrael fires the firey blade as a projectile at one man, skewers him through the chest and into a tree! The rest are slain just as brutally and efficiently. They were hardly a threat at all to the new avenger for the Order of Saint Dumas. (For those of you saddened by the murder of the puppy, keep in mind that even Batman is a “cat person”. I mean, look at his love life. Ha! Little Catwoman joke there.) Azrael suddenly spies movement inside the mansion’s nearby greenhouse.

Garbed in Batman’s costume, LeHah stands over the body of the owner of this expensive estate. There is zero doubt in Azrael’s mind that this killer is not Bruce Wayne as he crashes through the greenhouse glass, weapons at the ready! (Could it possibly be the rather enormous bat-gut that’s protruding from under the infamous vigilante’s costume? Just a thought.) He pauses to look over the body but it’s a moment too long as LeHah attempts an escape! He leaps into a running car and speeds off! Nomoz roars that their prey is getting away! Azrael runs and leaps atop the racing vehicle, but is eventually thrown off due to a combination of LeHah’s erratic driving along with the positioning of an unseen tree branch. The murderer escapes this time. Later, as the young man’s injuries are bound, Alfred asks why he killed those men. Azrael answers that once the mask was in place, he became another person entirely. Nomoz chooses this moment to chastise the youth for letting his prey escape with his wretched life. The argument is halted, however, when Azrael suggests that this matter should be explored at a later time and that now is the time to find and rescue Bruce Wayne. The trio agrees. upon this at least.

After a bit of deduction and detective work, Azrael concludes that LeHah must be holding Bruce within his own oil refinery in Texas. Alfred agrees. A short time later, inside the aforementioned building, LeHah does in fact taunt a restrained and unmasked Dark Knight. Bruce finally speaks out about the madman wearing his costume. Wouldn’t his demon lord, Biis, be jealous that LeHah new wears the mantle of another man? A man that serves an even darker and more powerful demon? This ploy does seem to get to LeHah. Bruce has gotten inside this monster’s head it seems. LeHah turns with a heated knife! He will torture Wayne to death to honor his demonic master! This will atone for his act of disrespect. (Well, when you play with fire, there’s a chance you’re gonna get burned. I tried the same exact scheme with my dentist. I ended up with a root canal anyway. Sadistic bastard.) But, all is not lost. Azrael and his two companions are there. But before Azrael can don his mask, Alfred pleads that this dark avenger find another way to stop LeHah that doesn’t involve more killing. The young man says very little in reply. But before rushing into battle, Alfred asks the youth his true name. After a pause, he admits that he can’t remember.

After Azrael slices through a chain-link fence like melted butter, the trio approaches extremely thick metal doors that lead inside. Even Azrael’s heated blades would do little damage to them. Alfred examines the doors more thoroughly and determines that a power failure would be their only hope of entrance. Inside, the maniacal LeHah grins as he walks slowly towards the captive Bruce Wayne, weapon in hand! He then charges! But even an injured Batman is way too quick for this clumsy attack and brings both of his legs up into a mighty kick into the villain’s solar plexus! This not only knocks the wind out of him, but sends the blade flying just out of reach! Just then, as if Saint Dumas himself has intervened from beyond the grave, lightning strikes, creating a complete power outage through the large building! LeHah scrambles for his knife! He finds it and lunges! But Wayne kicks it out of his hand and now way too far out of reach in the pure darkness to be a threat anymore! But LeHah won’t surrender just yet! He pulls a handgun and aims it to Bruce’s temple! (Is anyone else biting their fingernails at this part? I know I am! Hell, I’m biting my toenails too! Come on, Azrael!)

The Avenging Angel them makes his presence known with a firey entrance! LeHah exclaims that he’s killed Azrael before, he can do so again! He fires at the anti-hero, but his bullets merely ricochet off of Azrael’s armor, hitting the pipes that are filled with highly flammable oil instead! The explosions are immediate! Flames engulf the factory! Azrael walks past the injured villain, instead rescuing a barely standing Bruce Wayne! Batman uses the last of his strength to tell Azrael that his costume is fireproof before passing out. Azrael takes the hint and wraps Bruce inside of his own cape before he, Nomoz and Alfred barely escape the inferno with their lives! Outside, Nomoz once again roars his disappointment at the Avenging Angel. Azrael removes his mask as he looks off in the distance. He replies that he is no angel. He is a man. And his name is Jean-Paul Valley.

End.

90s Comics, 90s DC, DC Comics, Uncategorized

Behold the Blazing Angel (part 3 of 4)

Leave a comment

She was born! My granddaughter, Lillian “Symbigal” Miller, was born at last! And now that I’ve actually held her in my arms, my “grandfather craving” has been momentarily satisfied and I can concentrate a bit better. So, onto Unspoken Decade biz. When we last left Azrael, he was shot several times and thusly forced through the glass of a high window by the impact. (Not how I like to spend my Friday nights, but we’re all unique.) Now, I give you my look back at “Batman: Sword of Azrael” #3…..

Azrael’s limp form hit an ambulance parked below and then rolled onto the street! At that precise moment, Bruce Wayne and Alfred’s vehicle comes to a screeching halt nearby. Having witnessed the horrendous scene, they exit the car and Alfred checks the young man’s vitals. Surprisingly, he lives! Bruce tells his butler/friend to watch over him while he leaps into the broken window and investigates. Strangely, Bruce enters the room as himself, not Batman. (Real smart move there, Brucie! Why not just flash the bad guy your Justice League ID card and Batman undies while you’re at it! Dumbass!) Bruce witnesses LeHah in costume with a large rifle aimed at a dwarven male on the floor! But the weapon jams! Taking this as a sign from his demonic lord, he flees the room. Wayne pursues the madman against the complaining dwarf’s grumblings and comes to a halt inside a hospital storage room. Scanning the small space quickly, he’s a fraction of a second too slow as LeHah drops a chemical contained within a beaker upon the floor. It shatters! Strange smoke fills the air before the room explodes!

Bruce Wayne rises, coated in ash and chemicals! Hallucinating and injured, he scowls at his prey! But instead of a strangely-garbed man, he sees a demon in front of him. Regardless, he attacks the “creature”! Batman strikes at his foe several times, but his attacks are clumsy and uncoordinated. LeHah parries every strike before surprisingly defeating the Dark Knight! LeHah then drags Bruce from the hospital exit and into the back of the running aforementioned ambulance. He is stopped by a shocked guard for a moment, (Not as shocked as he should be by seeing the secret, demonic member of the Village People in my opinion!) but the larger man kills him with ease before entering the emergency vehicle and peeling out! But too late! Batman has regained consciousness by this time and leaps to freedom! He rolls to a stop next to Alfred in the alleyway. Alfred barely has a moment to look over his employer before the ambulance screeches to a halt! LeHah exits. He walks over and strikes Alfred, nearly knocking him out! He picks Bruce up again and places him back in the vehicle. He then drives away without a word.

Meanwhile, Nomoz holds a blade to Alfred’s throat as he drives. The dwarf warns the butler to keep driving as Azrael lies unconscious in the backseat. Alfred replies that the young man should be taken to a hospital rather than wherever he was being forced to drive. This idea is refused. Alfred then suggests lowering the weapon. After all, with Bruce now captured, he needs their help as much as the dwarf needs his. Nomoz doesn’t reply. Instead, they pull over near a secluded house and carry the Avenging Angel inside. By now, Azrael has awakened enough to sit. Alfred remarks how quickly the youth has recovered from what seemed to be fatal injuries. Azrael replies that the armor contained within his duffle bag took the brunt of the impact from the bullets. Elsewhere, the crazed LeHah has discovered that his captive is not only the millionaire, Bruce Wayne, but the Batman as well! (Yeah. Way to go there, Bats. Gee, who could have forseen this development from years of loyal comic book reading? Oh yes, me! Point goes to Symbifan. ) Bruce asks why he’s still breathing. LeHah answers that he wants the Wayne fortune and will keep him alive just long enough to get it.

At that moment, Nomoz turns suddenly with a blade back in his hand, holding it once again to the butler’s throat! Damn! I’d be so sick of this crap with the knife if I was Alfred. It’s not like Nomoz can accurately swipe at the throat anyway. Not without a step stool that is.) He tells Azrael that Alfred has seen too much and must therefore die! Azrael refuses with the defense that Alfred has done nothing but help them. He’s obviously a good man. The dwarf is enraged by these kind-hearted words and roars about obedience and respect. Alfred replies that he can help them still. He has studied the tracking skills of Batman himself after all. He can aid them in their search for LeHah. Begrudgingly, Nomoz agrees. For now that is. Elsewhere, LeHah is welcomed into the home of another member of the Order of Saint Dumas. Since he is well trusted, the man doesn’t suspect foul play. He pays for this error with his life. The killer then ties Batman to a chair and calls for a doctor. He orders him to bring a powerful truth serum with him. He is determined to break the Dark Knight and learn all of his secrets.

Needless to say, even after hours of questioning under the powerful drug, Batman gives no information. LeHah is beside himself with anger. He raises his weapon to Wayne’s throat, but the Dark Knight merely smiles. Back to Azrael and his allies, Nomoz complains that they have no idea where LeHah will strike next. Alfred suggests a bit of detective work. Azrael looks at the facts and discovers that the madman is striking in a straight line acrossEurope. England would be the next likely target should any members reside there. Nomoz states that there is. Alfred tells them that his employer would now choose a direct attack at his foe. It is agreed. Later, LeHah does in fact strike next in London. As he gains access to the unsuspecting member’s home once again without hesitation, he walks behind his elderly prey. He slides out his dagger and, strangely enough, pulls Batman’s mask over his face, readying himself for a strike! (He’s wearing Batman’s mask now?! This guy’s so crazy, he’s actually trick-or-treating before he kills his enemies!) Outside, a car pulls up to the outside gate. A guard moves to question the occupants. As Alfred rolls down his window, Azrael strikes quickly from behind! The final confrontation is soon at hand.

To be concluded…..