All posts by Symbifan

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Hark the Heralds (part 2 of 6)

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I write this under the most dire of circumstances, Unspokenites…..I have a toothache. I know. I know. He’s so brave to still write this article for us, the fans. Well now, I’m no saint. (Or am I?) Anyway, enough about my dental woes. On to the next part of my look back at the second part of the “Herald Ordeal” storyline from “Silver Surfer” #’s 70-75. Enjoy as I type through my excruciating pain…..

The Silver Surfer clashes with the monstrous new Herald of Galactus, Morg! But fists are not thrown at this time. Not yet. The scuffle is short and only serves to aid the two cosmic beings as they feel each other out. Morg boasts how he has slain all who have stood before him since he was but a child. The Silver Surfer replies that Morg’s reputation pales in comparison to the atrocities that he himself has been forced to commit in Galactus’ name. The Surfer then uses Morg’s momentum against him to throw the larger creature and follows up the attack with a blast of the Power Cosmic from his hands! (Judo throw! Hiyah! Wow! Everybody was Kung Fu fighting! Come on and sing along, everybody!) Morg recovers quickly and meets the blast with one of his own from his battle axe! Galactus orders Morg to bring the Silver Surfer to him! Morg grabs the Surfer’s hands, pulls one behind his back, and locks it there in a hold as he forcefully takes the hero towards his former master!

The Surfer demands that Morg release him immediately and for the location of Nova. Galactus merely states that he has released her and that she is no longer his concern. (I’d be filing for unemployment if I was her! That was a wrongful firing!) He continues that the Surfer’s interference in his business will no longer be tolerated. His ship will remained cloaked from this moment onward to the cosmic hero’s senses. He then orders Morg to release him and to scout out yet another planet. He hungers. The ancient god takes his leave and the Surfer and Morg are once again at one another’s throats! They battle back and forth for a short time until Morg gets the upper hand, knocking the Silver Surfer unconscious with a mighty blast from his cosmic weapon!

He awakens sometime later, dazed. He has no idea how long he floated incapacitated in open space upon his board. He looks for his enemy but sees nothing but the empty void. Satisfied that he is now alone, the cosmic hero thinks about his situation. Obviously, Morg cannot be allowed to be Galactus’ new Herald. The creature is a bloodthirsty madman, now imbued with nearly unlimited power. No. This will not stand. But to defeat him, the Silver Surfer will need help. For this, he searches for and quickly locates another former Herald, Firelord! (Ooooh! It’s on now! The Silver Surfer’s getting his homies together for a galactic beatdown! Damn, son!) The Firelord is seemingly busy at the moment, as he battles countless armored foes all at the same time! When it appears as though he’s being defeated by their sheer numbers, the Surfer sends a cosmic blast their way, freeing the blazing humanoid!

At first, Firelord seems slightly annoyed that the Surfer would assume that he would require any aid. But when the army he was battling suddenly doubles with the arrival of reinforcements, he decides he wouldn’t mind a little help. As the two ex-Heralds fight side-by-side, Firelord asks the Silver Surfer why he’s come. The Surfer replies simply that he was looking for him. But why? They’ve never exactly been what you would call friends. That’s when Firelord is told the terrifying story of Morg. Firelord asks after Nova. The Surfer explains that her whereabouts are currently unknown. With the small army of armored creatures now defeated, the two powerful beings decide to locate Nova and then the three of them will confront this menace known as Morg! (Can we take a moment to discuss just how badass the name Firelord is? Discussion ended. Thank you for your time.)

Speaking of Morg the Merciless, Galactus calls out to his new Herald. Has he located a suitable world for him to devour? Morg answers that yes, he has. And there will be no resistance from the natives. That’s when Morg’s surroundings are revealed. Smoking ruins and mangled corpses surround him! This may just be the Silver Surfer’s biggest challenge to date. Luckily, it seems he won’t have to face it alone.

To be continued…..

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Hark the Heralds (part 1 of 6)

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Did you ever have a crush in elementary school and you were too afraid to tell the person yourself? Yep. Most of us did. So what did we do? We sent a messenger to look into the situation for us and act in our place. A wussy move, but hey, you do what you have to do when you’re shy as hell. We were a bit like Galactus when you think about it. Except he sent his Heralds (AKA messengers) to scout planets for him and act in his place until he saw fit to arrive. He’d then devour the planet’s life-force, killing all who lived upon it. You know, maybe this analogy isn’t as spot on as I originally thought. Sigh. Anyway, enjoy my look back at “Silver Surfer” #70…..

We begin our story in deepest space where the current Herald for the mighty Galactus, Nova, looks on at a beautiful planet consisting of millions of inhabitants. They are completely unaware that she is near, let alone what her true purpose for visiting is. She is a servant of death itself. A harbinger of doom for entire civilizations. After she locates a planet that fits Galactus’ criteria, the very life of the world is consumed by the Devourer, leaving utter destruction and then horrifying silence in his wake! The death count of this so-called god is incalculable. As Nova looks down upon this peaceful planet, she feels extreme guilt. She is loyal to her master, but she can do this no longer. Nova speeds off towards Galactus’ space vessel. (I need to get me one of these Heralds. They could locate the best restaurants for me to feed my undying hunger for artery-clogging awesomeness! Damn. I’m hungry now. I shall return after making a snack.)

(I’m back. You know, I do believe that some granola bars are tools of the Devil, created from chopped up pieces of cork and plywood. Yummy. Must talk to Mrs. Symbifan about purchasing unhealthier snacks for me in the future.) Nova enters the enormous spacecraft of Galactus. He doesn’t look up from his many monitor screens as he asks the inevitable question: “Have you found a suitable world from which I will feed my insatiable hunger?” Nova lies as she tells her master that she has found no such place as of yet. The god does look up then. He calls his Herald a liar! He’s been watching her every move for quite some time and knows how false her claim is. The Devourer of Worlds continues that he will now consume this world that she so wishes to spare. Nova cries out in protest, but the ancient god will have none of it. He traps her in an energy construct and prepares to enter the planet’s atmosphere himself!

When Galactus arrives upon the planet’s surface, Nova is forced to float next to him, helpless to do anything but watch the coming annihilation. As the Devourer readies himself to feed, he scolds his Herald with furious rage. That is until one of this world’s denizens, a muscle-bound savage carrying a double-bladed battle axe, roars a challenge up at the already annoyed god! Surprisingly, Galactus hears the insects cry and looks down upon him, interested. Galactus asks this fearless being’s name. He yells back that he is Morg, court executioner, and he fears no-one! Would this Morg be so brave if he knew that his homeworld was about to be obliterated? Yes! If that is his planet’s fate, then so be it. He cares nothing for his people or his world. His only concern is for himself! Intrigued, the ancient god seizes Morg, sparing his life as he begins the feeding process! In no time at all, the planet is reduced to no more than rubble as Nova cries out in horror! (Mmmm. Nothing like a good planet to feel truly full. Do you think there are fattening worlds out there that go straight to Galactus’ godlike thighs?)

Shortly, back on Galactus’ ship, the Devourer turns to his distraught Herald and tells her that she is free! He wants her to leave his presence immediately! Nova is shocked beyond words! How is this possible? Has she not always been loyal? And now he means to simply throw her away? (Breakups are haaaaard. I bet she spies on his Facebook page constantly.) She asks her former master, what will he do without a Herald to find him world’s suitable for his hunger? Galactus replies that he has made many mistakes in the past with his choosing of Heralds. They all had their flaws. No more. He has found the perfect being to aid him. He reveals Morg, encased in energy! Nova cries out in alarm! Surely he can’t be serious! One final time, the god orders Nova to leave. Sadly, she finally does so. Galactus asks Morg if he will be his next Herald. The creature agrees without pause! Morg is then imbued with the Power Cosmic and a deadly new Herald is born!

Mere moments later, the Silver Surfer flies into Galactus’ ship. He means to talk to Nova about her growing empathy and conscience. Turning, he sees the ancient god and asks her whereabouts. Galactus replies that she is gone and she will not be returning. The Surfer is shocked! Has the Devourer lost his mind? Nova may have had her doubts as of late, but her loyalty was beyond question. Galactus warns the Surfer that his insolence will not be tolerated. Anyway, he now has a new Herald that’s more to his liking. Out steps the transformed Morg the Executioner! Without hesitation, Galactus orders Morg to remove this pest! Morg smiles as he happily follows his new master’s orders!

To be continued…..

90s Comics, 90s DC, DC Comics, Uncategorized

Character Eradication (part 3 of 3)

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Well, here we are. The end of the Eradicator miniseries. I hope you’ve enjoyed his journey to discover himself as much as I have. Like I said in the first part of this series, the Eradicator character has been a creature of constant change from his very beginning. That used to annoy me truthfully. But now? I see him as a mirror for life. Aren’t we as human beings always recreating ourselves? Changing. Maybe that makes the Eradicator more human than I thought. Maybe. (Way too deep. I need a joke here. Please insert a fart noise at this point as you read. Thank you.) Now, sit back and enjoy my look back at “Eradicator” #3…..

The grotesque creature that thinks itself a type of reincarnation of the dead kryptonian scientist, Kem-L, bursts into our world over the freezing waters of the Antarctic! It delights in the sensations that its new form can feel. But suddenly, the creature feels intense pain! It is not yet complete. For that, it will need the full power of the one called the Eradicator. Kem-L knows where to go on this planet to get his attention too. He flies off with a sinister new purpose! Meanwhile, the Eradicator hovers over the vast Pacific Ocean. He is deep in thought when the person he’s been waiting for arrives at last. Superboy gives him a happy greeting, the small white dog, Krypto, held protectively in his arms. (Is it me, or does the bad guy somewhat resemble the trash after a night of chowing down on some delicious KFC? Ha! Just try and get that image out of your heads!)

The Eradicator asks if the rest of the Superman Family will be arriving soon. Superboy replies that the others were just too busy to come. It’d just be him. The Eradicator nods and the two super-beings fly off to speak more privately on land. They arrive quickly upon a tropical isle. After a moment, the Eradicator asks Superboy the question burning within him. He asks, since Superboy now knows himself to be a clone, does he still feel like a real person? Superboy is deeply offended by this question. Of course he does! What kind of a cruel question was that? The Eradicator attempts to apologize, but flees the uncomfortable scene instead. Moments later, Superboy joins him in the skies. Now calmed down, he answers that even though they weren’t born in the typical way, it’s their emotions that make them real. This gives them their soul. The Eradicator considers Superboy’s outlook later. Could he actually have a soul? (Try to sing the blues my kryptonian brother. Then you’ll know. God, that was a lame joke. Umm…..more fart noises? There! Saved it!)

At that moment in the Bronx, Sarah Conner lies awake, troubled by recent events in her life. Could the monster that destroyed her apartment actually be her husband reborn? How would that even be possible? Suddenly, she becomes aware of a bright light coming from outside the bedroom window. Sensing trouble, she protects her children as best as she can. That’s when an energy blast explodes through the wall and the demonic-looking Kem-L steps through! Meanwhile, the Eradicator makes up his mind in the planet’s orbit. He will leave the Earth behind and explore deepest space. But first, he must at least see his human side’s family one last time. He flies off immediately to do so. Kem-L looks to the human family before him, breathing in the scent of their rage and fear. He finds it intoxicating. (Probably a bit of poo stink too. I know if that horrific thing burst through my apartment wall, he’d smell more than rage and fear. Just sayin’.) He demands that they tell him where they have the Eradicator hidden!

Sarah’s brother, Mike, leaps off of his sleeping place on the floor and puts his arms out in a protective manner towards his sister and nephews. He would protect them with his life if need be! But this scene is interrupted by gunshots hitting the creature’s exposed back from the hole in the wall! It turns to see police officers as they open fire once again. More amused than anything else, Kem-L blasts his energy towards the police! After a parked car explodes and the officers run for safety, he turns his attention back to the family once more. Only they’re no longer there! But alas, the family is quickly located once again, nearly free of the building before Kem-L blasts a hole in the floor above their heads! Sarah pleads for her children’s lives as the descending Kem-L slowly hovers towards them! He grabs Sarah by her throat and lifts her menacingly into the air! Her boys look on helpless as their uncle lies on the ground unconscious! (Is there another way to choke someone besides menacingly? Don’t answer that! Perverts.) But before the monster can hurt her, the Eradicator arrives, eyes and fists glowing with power! He orders Kem-L to drop the woman now!

Kem-L seems genuinely confused. Are they both not superior lifeforms? Better in every way than these frail humans? The Eradicator replies that he shares their core weakness. He cares. He continues that he can drain him of his energies, just leave the human family alone. The monster replies that this will not do. No. They must die to free the Eradicator of his weakness. The Eradicator answers that he will not fight Kem-L. Kill the humans then. He cares not! And with that, he flies through the apartment’s roof! Leaving Sarah, Mike, and the two young boys to perish at the hands of this nightmare from Krypton’s dark past! Kem-L cackles maniacally as he readies himself to snap poor Sarah Conner’s neck! Just then, the Eradicator smashes through the roof above the creature, severing it’s right arm with the force of his blow! (Psych! You thought he was gonna leave too, didn’t you? Ha! He showed you. This guy should sell medical insurance over the phone with his uncanny skill to lie without remorse.)

The beast roars in pain as Sarah and the children escape! It then begins to shapeshift into it’s female form. It talks calmly to the Eradicator as it slowly approaches. The dark hero seems transfixed by these words and the beautiful face until Kem-L strikes with a mighty uppercut! This sends the Eradicator crashing into a brick wall with such force, even he is stunned! Kem-L follows this by throwing the other being through wall after wall! The blows begin to take their toll after awhile. At last, the Eradicator seems defeated! He replies that he will fight no more. He will give his energy over freely. His eyes glow as he says the last words. Suddenly, the building explodes into rubble as the Eradicator unleashes the fury of his full power! Sarah cries out that Mike is still inside! She runs to save him! But moments after she enters the inferno, the Eradicator comes crashing through a wall to the outside, Mike held safely in his powerful arms! (I hope these people have renter’s insurance and that it covers “Acts of Krypton”!)

Eradicator slowly and carefully lies the man in the street near the children. One of them pulls insistently upon the superhero’s cape. He turns to see terror in the boy’s face as he explains that his mother went back into the building! The Eradicator loses no time as he speeds back into the blaze! He calls out frantically for Sarah to say something so he can locate her. He hears a low groan. Turning, he sees her. She’s trapped under some flaming wreckage! He rushes forward and throws it off of her at lightning speed! He tries to console her. She’ll be okay. Sarah caresses his face and whispers that he’s lying with a gentle smile. That’s when the unthinkable happens. For the briefest of moments, their minds become one! He feels every emotion, sees every triumph and heartache! And then nothing. Sarah’s hand drops limply. She is no more. (I’m not gonna cry. I’m not gonna…..sob…..don’t look at me! Umm. I mean, let’s continue on with our story…..)

Later, he watches her funeral from a distance. It’s a beautiful service as services go. He mourns her. But does he have the right? After all, he only carries some of her husband’s memories. And now, her memories are a part of him as well. He feels more strongly than ever before because of this he believes. Does he now possess a soul, he wonders? He knows about as much as anyone else does. That’ll have to be enough.

End.

Dedicated to the woman who gave me life as I just recently celebrated my 46th. birthday, my mother, Pamela Bowen-Metz. I love you, mom.