Tag Archives: Captain America

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

“Okay, Axis, here we come!” (Part 2 of 4)

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Welcome back to the dangerous days of the second World War…..but in the 90’s. That’s right. This is a story that would most likely take place before Marvel Comics was even called Marvel Comics…..only it is called that. You know, I’m just confusing myself here and run the risk of taking you Unspokenites down with me. Let’s just return to the story. (Sheesh!) I bring you “Invaders” #2…..

A nearly unconscious and severely beaten Miss America crashes through the window in the meeting room of the Liberty Legion! Shocked, Captain America leaps to action and stops her impact on the hard wood floor with his muscled frame. The other Invaders and the Thin Man kneel down to check on their comrade. The Thin Man recalls aloud that he thought she had been on a date this night with the Whizzer. Her love’s codename spoken aloud awakens Miss America and she demands to know his whereabouts! Cap manages to calm her, asking what had happened. She replies that five superpowered Nazis took the Whizzer captive and nearly killed her! In fact, they only let her be because they thought that they had! The Human Torch suggests that she rest while they look into the matter. Not to be denied her vengeance, Miss America finds a stone sculpture of Captain America’s head nearby and crushes it with a single blow! She won’t be left behind! (A simple, “Nah. I’m good, guys,” would be way too simple at this juncture it seems. Women. Am I right?)

The Thin Man suggests that he stay behind and find other heroes to help out. And though this hurts Namor’s pride to ask for aid, Captain America tells the Atlantean King that he feels they’re going to need all of the help they can get this time. Within moments, the Invaders are speeding away within Namor’s high-tech plane as the Thin Man wishes them his best. Meanwhile, over the Hollywoodland sign, a strange and ominous fog descends. Two police officers, out on their nightly patrol, spot this occurrence and slow to a stop in their squad car. They’re horrified as they witness a large, black balloon emerge from within the fog! A rope drops but no-one slides down. Instead, the officers hear a feminine voice from behind! It’s the Spider Queen! As she keeps the two entranced, Volton lands and electrifies both lawmen until their flesh blackens! (Yep. Crispy as KFC I’d reckon too. Damn. That sounds good now!) The other Nazis emerge now with a new ally, the dreaded Sky Shark! They carry a drugged Whizzer with them as yet another man descends the rope ladder. Dr. Death refers to this man as their “ace-in-the-hole”!

Elsewhere, Namor and the Human Torch land at their destination. They seek to give an ally, a Dr. Jacob Goldstein, sanctuary until this attack blew over with the Battle-Axis. Goldstein had once sent a set of armor he’d designed against the Invaders against his will and joined them when they’d given their word to liberate his brother from Nazi clutches. As it turned out, the heroes hardly had to intervene at all as the doctor had transformed himself into a hulking Golem, straight from Jewish folklore, and nearly saved his sibling alone! The two superheroes knock but the door creaks open! Peering inside with the Torch’s firey light, the duo spy Dr. Death and Goldstein together! The evil Nazi leader then orders Goldstein to attack! Begrudgingly, he obeys as he transforms into the clay behemoth, the Golem, once more! The two Invaders fight valiantly, but the creature’s sheer strength is too much in the end! Both lie injured and unconscious in the now flaming residence! Dr. Death orders the Golem to take the Human Torch and to leave the King of Atlantis to die in the fire! The Golem follows orders and Namor is left to perish! (And he didn’t want help! Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Am I actually siding with Nazis on even a marginal level?! Bad narrator! Bad!)

The Sub-Mariner tries his best to crawl through the burning wreckage, but now deeply dehydrated, he finds his enhanced strength completely gone. He almost collapses for good until a gloved hand catches him. Looking for the face of his savior, Namor sees a flaming skull staring back at him instead! (No. It’s not Ghost Rider. This is a Golden Age comic story, written in the 1990’s, and now brought to you in the year 2025. Damn! Got confused again.) Seeing the confusion upon the Atlantean’s face, the hero introduces himself as the Blazing Skull. He then picks up Namor over one shoulder and races from the burning home. Once outside, he states that the Thin Man sent him. He then asks if Namor needs further help. Instead, the aquatic hero looks to a tall water tower and smashes his fists into its wooden legs. It comes crashing down, drenching Namor in life-saving water! The Sub-Mariner roars that he’s now ready to go rescue the Human Torch and woe to any Nazi that’s holding him prisoner!

On their own mission, Miss America flies up to a high window at UCLA’s college campus with Captain America held in her powerful arms. Spying inside, they see three corpses and three of the members of Battle-Axis standing over them! The one known as Strongman holds an enormous high-tech device over his head. They call it an oscillotron and claim that it’s needed for their leader’s sinister scheme. Hearing enough, Cap and Miss America leap through the overhead window and straight into battle! But once again, the heroes are bested by the villainous Battle-Axis! But as they move in for the kill, they’re stopped by a woman clad in silver armor and a large handgun aimed at them! She calls herself the Silver Scorpion and warns not to cross her or they’ll feel the sting of her ray gun! The villains notice the blonde, female “corpse” is missing from their feet! Unimpressed, Spider Queen throws a web at the gun and pulls it from the Silver Scorpion’s hand! She aims it at the armored heroine but soon sees that she’s been fooled. This was no more than a strangly -shaped glue gun! (I’m constantly tricked into thinking long, cardboard tubing is in fact a cool lightsaber. I’m also extremely immature for my age.)

There’s a slight skirmish before Battle-Axis decides that they’re wasting too much time. They have memorized enough of the device’s inner workings to help their leader, so they destroy their ill-gotten prize and make a hasty escape, destroying the room’s foundations on the way out! Unable to give chase, Captain America and Miss America turn to their new ally. But the Silver Scorpion is already checking the others bodies. No hope. They’re gone. She tells how one was the designer of the oscillotron and her armor. The other was the man she loved. She was called this night to be on high alert from the Thin Man. Too little, too late it seems now. The two superheroes thank her and give their condolences before they turn to leave. But the Silver Scorpion won’t be left behind so easily. She wants revenge and while she was thought to be dead, overheard Battle-Axis’ next destination! Begrudgingly, she is allowed to join the heroes. (Blackmail is an excellent basis for a great, lasting partnership.)

To be continued……

And remember to plant a victory garden! (Hmmm? Oh, just Google it!)

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

“Okay, Axis, here we come!” (Part 1 of 4)

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Wait a minute! Isn’t this supposed to be a website dedicated to comic books of the 1990’s? What’re these Golden Age superheroes from the days of World War II doing here? Psych! This article’s about the 4-part 90’s Marvel miniseries starring the Invaders! I bet you were really fooled, huh? (I’m well aware that I didn’t fool anyone and that this intro wasn’t funny in the slightest. Bear with me here. It’s still early in the morning as I write this.) Well, should we begin before I make an even bigger ass out of myself? Let’s…..

Our tale begins in the summer of 1942. President Roosevelt and Prime Minister Churchill had just met over recent attacks off of the Atlantic seaboard and in the Caribbean where Axis submarine attacks were seriously hurting the Allied effort. If this kept up, the tide of the war might turn in favor of the enemy. At this very moment, off the coast of New York City, torpedoes fire with sinister intent from a Nazi submarine! But unbeknownst to the hated Ratzis, the Invaders were hovering overhead within their high-tech, Atlantean airship! The Human Torch and Namor the Submariner burst from the strange craft, ready for battle! Namor swims at high speed toward the aquatic projectile, grabs hold of it, and turns it back towards the Nazis! (I’d be more scared of the tiny trunks he’s wearing than of the returning torpedo! Awkwaaaard!) The explosion forces them to emerge! The enemy tries to use their guns to fire back at the two superpowered beings, but soon find that they’re no match for Namor’s powerful fists and the Human Torch’s fireballs! That’s when things get really interesting! Captain America leaps from the hovering plane, straight into the middle of the rumble!

As expected, this scuffle doesn’t last long. But as the trio of heroes try to decide what to do with their prisoners, the Human Torch fires a barrage of fireballs at the enemy craft. They don’t reach their target however! An energy field has stopped them cold! Looking at this energy’s source, they see five, strangely dressed people now standing upon the craft! They introduce themselves as the Battle-Axis and it is quite apparent which side they’re on in this war! Captain America is confused. These beings sound American! He questions them and they immediately admit that they are! More so than Cap’s Atlantean and synthetic companions! Namor wants to rush them, but the Captain stops him, awaiting an actual attack. He doesn’t have to wait long as electricity fires from one of the men’s fists at the Human Torch! That was it! The battle cry sounds and they charge at their enemies! (Jeez, Cap! Why wait for an attack? You know they’re bad guys. It’s not like they’re there to invite you to a pottery class! They’re Nazi sympathizers!)

Captain America meets his sparring partner first. But the enemy, the Human Meteor, leaps over this attack as the woman behind him, the Spider Queen, fires webbing from her wrists, entangling the star-spangled hero so that he falls over, unable to snap this cocoon! The Spider Queen admits aloud that she hates to attack him, but she won’t side with those that stand with Russians. Cap replies that the Russians are our allies in this bloody war. She should stand by them as he does. This comment enrages her and she kicks him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him! Meanwhile, Namor strikes at his assailant, Strong Man he calls himself. But the large man is way to strong, even for the Avenging Son of Atlantis! He strikes again and again with powerful punches! The Human Meteor tries to help, but Strong Man orders him back! He’s been bullied all of his life and the Prince of Atlantis is his and his alone! (Man, these guys are real pros! They even have the time to introduce themselves in the midst of fierce hand-to-hand combat! Impressive!)

At this moment the Human Torch battles his opponent, Volton, to no avail! His fireballs seem to do very little and while he’s in the midst of throwing more, Volton suddenly encircles the Torch in an aura of electricity, frying him slowly! Never to be beaten by Nazi scum, Captain America uses all of his superior strength to pull out of the webs and slaps the Spider Queen unconscious with a tap! (Lol! Heaven forbid we strike a female Nazi with a closed hand! She might get her widdle evil feewings hurt.) But while Cap’s attention is on this, the last villain, Dr. Death, fires a tranquilizer dart strong enough to penetrate the Invaders leader’s chainmail and knock him unconscious with the toxin within! But just as the supervillains are arguing about how to murder their foes, the Atlantean ship comes from nowhere and hits the Nazi boat! The force knocks the severely injured Invaders into the ocean! The members of Battle-Axis decide to leave in the damaged U-boat. They’ve proven their point. But water is the realm of Namor and he quickly awakens due to the liquid’s healing properties upon his hybrid flesh. He quickly pulls his comrades ashore.

The Invaders make it to the docks where they’re helped ashore by concerned citizens with warm towels for the heroes. But there’s never time to rest in this war. After a brief thanks, the three take off into the air while the dock workers look on in disbelief. They fly to the roof of Times Tower where the Torch puts Cap down and then descends himself. Namor follows suit. They enter the building with the Human Torch lighting the way in the darkness. But in this darkness, a figure suddenly attacks the Torch, knocking the artificial man to the ground! But before he can retaliate, Captain America stops him. The attacker is none other than the Thin Man, stretchy hero of the Liberty Legion! Thin Man apologizes as he thought they were Nazi saboteurs. Cap briefly asks of the whereabouts of the other Legionnaires until he’s satisfied that everyone’s safe. Thin Man asks what brings the famous Invaders from their headquarters in London. The trio speak of investigating news of Nazi planning attacks in the States. That’s when they bring up their superpowered attackers. The Thin Man seems to know who they’re speaking of immediately. (Now I’ve seen stretchy superheroes in comics most of my life, but the Thin Man creeps me out! He’s like a roadside accident. You don’t want to look, but…..) He pulls out files and files on superpowered people from America that have suddenly switched sides! The members of Battle-Axis are in those files!

At this precise moment, a loving couple walks through a beautiful park on Manhattan’s east side. They speak of new love and silly, past squabbles until they suddenly kiss. But as they share this romantic moment, the woman notices a shimmer of something metallic out in the water. Both look more intently and recognize the form of a submarine below the water! That’s when the two burst into action, quickly changing into costume! Within moments, Miss America and the Whizzer race into action! (Yeah, I know. He’s called “The Whizzer” and he wears a yellow costume. Grow up, you guys! Heehee. Might as well call him “Pee-Man”.) The two superheroes debate what would bring a sub this close inland. This conversation allows them to be blindsided by the quick fists of Battle-Axis’ Human Meteor and for Miss America to be ensnared by the Spider Queen’s webs! Both heroes seem to be battered unconscious at this point! The villains speak of their scheme to now travel to the Mojave Desert for the next part of their plan as they begin to tie up their prey more securely. But Miss America suddenly breaks free of her bindings! She realizes she can’t rescue the Whizzer as well as escape! She must leave him behind to go get help! The Human Meteor and Volton spring into action, giving chase!

Miss America twists and turns through the air, trying in vain to shake her pursuers, but they stay on her tail, gaining on her! Finally she does some quick thinking and falls back, grabbing both villains by their arms! She then swings them into one another with explosive results! When they come to, Miss America is gone. Was she incinerated by the blast, or did she somehow escape? The Human Meteor and Volton decide to report back to Dr. Death that the heroine is no more. They take their leave. Meanwhile, hanging by one weakened arm from a steeple of a nearby church, Miss America tries not to fall! What will become of her lover should she perish? She decides she’d rather not find out!

To be continued! Stay tuned and remember to buy War Bonds for the war effort!

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Domino Effect

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Greetings and salutations, Denizens of the Unspoken Universe! The Symbifan is back in the hizzy! (That’s my failed attempt at humor. Don’t worry. There’s more to come.) I thought I’d return to the Marvel Universe for this article. But not the Marvel Universe you know and love. No. For this particular article, I dare to ask the question…….”What if?”

This story begins as most tales of alternate realities begin, with the Watcher! The Watcher is a cosmic being blessed/cursed to bear witness to important events in the history of the Marvel Universe, yet he can never intervene, no matter how much he is compelled to. (So he’s pretty much a godlike peeping tom with excuses as to why he can’t step up like a real man. Oh! Burn!) But the Watcher not only sees one universe, he sees all of them from his hidden perch atop the Earth’s moon. It seems that in most cases, history can and will change drastically as the result of one single changed event. Like so…..

In the Marvel Universe we know a frail, yet patriotic, young man from Brooklyn, Steve Rogers, would become the only super soldier when the scientist who created the unique serum, Dr. Erskine, was shot to death by a German spy. But things in this universe went down slightly different as Rogers was fast enough to push his creator to safety, causing the bullet to miss its intended target! This moment would change this universe forevermore. (You ever try to say “super soldier serum” five times fast? It’s impossible! Did you try it just now? Ha! Made you do stuff!)

The U.S. government would now go on to create severel more super soldiers with Rogers, AKA Captain America, and a young Nick Fury leading them. Before long, World War II was at an end, with America being the ultimate victor of the conflict. The war over, Rogers and Fury began their long journey home. However, their ship was attacked by some remaining Nazi U-boats. Only Steve would survive to return to the States. (Seems a bit shifty to me. Hmmm.)

Steve Rogers would return as the biggest hero in American history. He would go on to create more super soldiers to serve in his world police force, S.H.I.E.L.D. His popularity grew until he was even elected as President for an unheard of three consecutive terms. It all seemed like the beginning of a fantastic new era for America. But all was not as it seemed. President Rogers had a twisted idea of “human perfection”. His ideas of a “master race” mirrored Nazi beliefs as his men began to exterminate not only those that he saw as potential superhuman threats to his dream, but citizens that were deemed as “undesirables”! (Like people that don’t reply when you say, “Excuse me.” Ugh! That really toasts my buns!)

One of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s most feared soldiers/hunters was a man named Frank Castle. He wears devastatingly powerful armor, created by a man named Tony Stark. With it, hes been dubbed the Iron Man. It’s during his mission to execute the famed Sub-Mariner in the North Atlantic that a startling discovery is made…..a block of ice that seemed to contain the frozen body of Captain America! (Cap just seems to be destined to enter the new world with horrible brain freeze no matter what!)

Iron Man uses Namor’s confusion to his advantage, stunning him with several repulsor blasts. He then hauls The Sub-Mariner and the frozen man onto a waiting S.H.I.E.L.D. aircraft. Namor is placed within a containment cell while a quickly-melting Captain America is laid out on a slab. Castle gets involved in a heated conversation with the two super soldier pilots, making him completely unaware that the man dressed in red, white, and blue has opened his eyes! (It’s on now! Yeah! Go, Cap! Sorry. I got a little too hyped there. It’s all of the caffeine admittedly.)

Captain America’s time frozen in ice has done little in slowing his fighting prowess! He quickly not only disarms and defeats the soldiers, but Iron Man as well! He then quickly frees the aquatic prisoner. They move in on Castle. Cap is quickly brought up to speed on the recent state of his beloved country and that it seems as though he is the cause of all of this horror by Namor. Castle states that he was only following orders as Cap is his childhood hero. Rogers then asks if this is the America that Frank truly wants to fight for. His reply is to incinerate the two super soldiers! Namor flies into a frenzy! This man can hardly be trusted! Captain America separates the two and states that they all have a common goal here. If this war is to be won, they will all need to work together. Both men agree and the Avengers are born! (Frank Castle with Iron Man armor is the stuff of nightmares. Just sayin’.)

The trio commandeer the S.H.I.E.L.D. aircraft and use the computer systems aboard to search for others with extraordinary skills to aid them in their cause. This search takes them to the vast wilderness of the world’s 51st. state, Canada. They exit the ship and it doesn’t take long before they find the one they’re looking for, a mysterious man from Cap’s past that goes by the name, Logan. Logan wastes zero time for pleasantries, but instead attacks! As he fights, his body goes through a strange metamorphosis, sprouting long, white hair all over a huge, monstrous form! (Hey! My hair’s turned white too. I want super strength to go along with it! Of course, my hair’s the side-effect of raising two teenagers.)

The Avengers throw everything at the rampaging beast, but to no avail! Logan roars that he’ll destroy anyone who works with a monster like Steve Rogers! That’s when Cap finally says that he’s the real Captain America and that if he joins them, there will be no shortage of super soldiers to maim and kill. And just like that, Logan replies that he is now known as the Hulk and that he’ll join them. (That didn’t take long. I don’t want to say that Wolverine’s a psycho, but maybe some medication wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing.)

Unfortunately, the Avengers would arrive too late to recruit their next man. Hank Pym and his wife had been murdered. Their bodies still lie on the floor. But before they can take their leave, Iron Man catches a burglar as he’s breaking into the house! The burglar says that his name is Sam Wilson and that he detests having to steal in order to live. But in this country, a black man’s lucky not to be sent to a death camp, let alone get honest work. Captain America is then struck with inspiration. He hands Wilson one of Pym’s costumes and pills that Pym was going to use to alter his size. Sam takes these items and becomes the mighty Giant Man! (What’s that you say? Where’s Scott Lang to take up the mantle, like in the Ant-Man movies? Isn’t Pym supposed to be an old man? Read a comic, people! Damn!)

(I omitted a part here involving Magneto that I felt served no purpose to the present story. I am not, nor have I ever been, a mutant-hater. That is all.) The team uses Castle’s security clearance to gain access to the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier. But as they rush by, they witnesses great power humming within a nearby room. Looking in, they see a man with long, blonde hair and body armor, shackled with energy cuffs! The super soldiers are seemingly attempting to drain not only him, but the power from a large hammer held firmly in his grip! Cap and his allies spring into action, fighting off the soldiers and freeing the prisoner! He claims that he is the Norse god, Thor, and he will help them.

While more super soldiers enter the room, Iron Man shouts that Cap needs to find the room that holds the super soldier serum and destroy it. With the heroes covering his escape, he follows Castle’s directions to navigate the humongous helicarrier. He finds many soldiers along the way, but always he triumphs and moves ever onward. Soon, he finds the lock to the correct door. He scans his fingerprints. The device confirms that he is the President of the United States and opens. Inside, even Captain America must gasp. Standing there is none other than his un-aged creator, Dr. Erskine! (Crap! I want some of that de-aging serum! I pop more than Rice Crispies when I stand up!)

Cap approaches the older man. To his surprise, the good doctor is beyond pleased to see him. He comments how proud he is of him and his good work. How his serum helped in saving America. That’s when the forlorn superhero turns on a wall of television screens. The several news channels report on the horror that the United States has truly become. And at the center of it all, President Steve Rogers. Dr. Erskine then drops to his knees and sobs. He had been blissfully unaware of the outside world for decades. This sad moment is interrupted however by the sudden appearance of President “Steve Rogers” with a loaded gun! (That’s heartbreaking. Decades with no t.v.? How can he be expected to keep up with the such educational programs like DC’s Peacemaker, starring John Cena? Those monsters!)

Captain America doesn’t have to wait long for an explanation on just who his doppelganger is. He is none other than the Red Skull! The Skull was thought dead near the end of World War II, but he had his top scientist place his mind into a cloned body of Rogers! He then ordered Nazi U-boats to fire upon Cap and Nick Fury’s ship, trading places with the real Captain America in the confusion! The rest, as they say, is history. (Don’t you just love when the villain explains their entire master plan? It’s idiotic in practice, but us readers enjoy the explanation. Villains: Catching up slow comic fans since forever. Amen.) The Red Skull then tells a distraught Dr. Erskine that he’s no longer needed. The Skull has figured out the super soldier serum for himself!

The Red Skull aims the handgun directly at Cap’s face! But Erskine moves suddenly in front of the hero, taking a bullet to the chest! A bullet that perhaps should have hit its target so very long ago. (As Metallica might say, “Sad But True”. What? I already admitted earlier that I was old!) Enraged, Captain America throws himself at his evil double! The two scuffle until the true patriotic super soldier picks up the cloned madman and hurles him into a power generator! The body convulses and sizzles until it falls lifeless to the floor! But the threat has not yet ended. Cap returns to his allies. The battle continues to rage between super soldiers and the Avengers!

More and more heavily-armed super soldiers continue to flood into the room! The heroes know in their hearts that they won’t survive this fight. But, like true warriors, they’ll go down fighting! That’s when Captain America calls out a battle cry that seems to empower his loyal comrades, “Avengers assemble!”

Time passes as time does, and America slowly begins to become what it was meant to be, a home for people of all races and religions to come together as one people. And though the heroes that fought to make this dream a working reality once again perished during that epic battle so long ago, the people will never forget their sacrifice.

Well, that’s it. With this story now concluded, this very tired Symbifan is gonna go to bed. Later, alligators! After awhile, Loki Crocodiles! Lol! Until next time.