90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

“Okay, Axis, Here We Come!” (part 3 of 4)

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Boy, these characters from Marvel’s Golden Age sure are awesome, eh Unspokenites? I for one was always fascinated by them. It’s sad that so little of them still exist today really. (Except for the Whizzer in his yellow costume. Him, you can keep! Ha! Just kidding.) Anyway, I bet you’re wondering what happens next in our titanic tale! Well, wonder no further! The Unspoken Decade proudly presents “Invaders” #3…..

The Human Torch had had enough! He bursts into flames and melts his way out of his see-through prison! The Whizzer asks to be freed too, but the Torch is too enraged to be stopped now! The flaming android melts the surrounding Nazi soldiers’ guns as he flies towards the members of Battle-Axis! Dr. Death orders Volton to hurl a beam of electricity his way. He does, but the Torch is too fast! But as he evades, he’s suddenly struck powerless by a high-powered hose from the lab’s ceiling! Now without his flame, he plummets right into Strongman’s path! The muscle-bound villain uses the Human Torch’s momentum and his own superior strength to knock the hero out with a single punch! He’s then drug into a fresh prison chamber. Dr Death then walks towards the Torch. Peering in at him, the Nazis asks if he’d like to know his identity! The Torch seems unconcerned until the villain pulls off his face mask! (And reveals himself to be…..Shaq! Man, he really is in everything these days!) He is James Bradley, assistant to the man who created the Human Torch! He explains that he had begged his partner not to go public with the Torch, but his pleas were ignored. Disgusted, he stormed out of the lab before the press arrived. Years later, he was thrilled to become Dr. Death for the Third Reich when they approached him if it meant getting his hands on his old co-creation!

The Human Torch now knows why this Dr. Death betrayed his country. But what of these others? He demands answers. The Spider Queen is the first to answer. Her name was Sharon Kane and her husband had been a scientist that had invented a super-strong web fluid for Washington. All was well until the day he was gunned down by Russian spies! Soon after, America allied themselves with Russia against Nazi Germany when they entered the war! That’s why she fights against her homeland. The next to speak is Strongman. He was named Percy Van Norton. He’d been a millionaire, but even his money couldn’t take away the sting of being relentlessly teased as a youth. So he took an experimental formula that enhanced his strength and durability. He knew the Nazis valued strength, so when Dr. Death approached him, he was more than willing. The Human Meteor had been called Duke O’ Dowd and had received his powers by crashing his plane in the Himalayans and discovering the secret city of Bayakura. The denizens there taught him how to convert his atoms into pure energy. He had started out a superhero, but when he learned that America was working with the British he so despised, he joined the opposite side. Volton spoke up next. He remembered nothing of his human life or why he’d joined the cause. He just remembered being struck by a bolt of lightning. (Well, that was a simple and right to the point origin story. Genius! Gotta love a deeply motivated character.)

While the villains are in such a talkative mood, the Torch questions them further. Where are they and what is their master plan? Dr. Death replies with pride that they are beneath the Mojave Desert where they have constructed a giant oscillotron. The machine’s job is to create an earthquake so destructive, that the West Coast would break off, killing numerous Americans and forcing the U.S. out of the war! Without their powerful ally, England would be forced to surrender next! This would leave Russia to battle all of the Azis Powers alone! The Whizzer cries out in rage, but he is simply ignored and the Human Torch is doused once again with water within his cell. Meanwhile, as Captain America flies the Atlantean aircraft high above the desert, Miss America demands to know of the villains’ secret location from the Silver Scorpion. The new, armored heroine seems unsure. Miss America next asks how this woman even knows of the armor she now wears. The Silver Scorpion replies that she had accompanied her fiancée to work often as he served as a guard to a scientist that was creating the armor. The scientist had needed a model to fit the armor around and chose her. (I bet he did! Pervert! I applaud your ingenuity, good sir.) The heroes know the rest of her sad tale.

As this conversation is going on, Namor takes this time to ask of the Blazing Skull’s origins. He answers that he was once a journalist named Mark Todd and that he had been on assignment during a war in China. He was forced underground during an attack and encountered a race of beings that had flaming skulls for heads! There, they taught him how to become immune to flames and gifted him a mask to look as they did to the surface world. This was to fight injustice incognito. He later learned how to make his own flesh appear transparent. To put the Blazing Skull at ease, Cap tells him that this was no more strange than his or the other Invaders’ origins. (Like…..heehee…..the Whizzer…..getting super speed from a…..hahaha…..blood transfusion from a…..mongoose! Haw! Haw! Haw!) These talks however have not stopped Miss America from grilling the Silver Scorpion. She questions her once again about the villains’ hideout. Things become so heated up between the two females, that the Scorpion suddenly shouts out that she lied! She knew nothing of their evil plans and overheard only a vague statement about a “dead lake”. Before Miss America can say anymore, Captain America motions for her silence. They are flying over the Mojave Desert right now. Doesn’t this place have craters called “dead lakes”? And if so, couldn’t Namor’s Atlantean ship detect them?

The Sub-Mariner confirmed that this was in fact so. Scanning the desert, the ship’s sensors quickly picked up a crater that had been covered up, comoflauged in some way! Cap decided they should keep their distance until a plan could be formed. But too late! Anti-aircraft guns came out of concealed spots in the desert sands and began firing upon the Atlantean ship! They made a crash landing! But, unable to wait any longer for her beloved, Miss America burst from the craft and flew down with the guns as they sank back into the earth! She found herself inside of an enormous high-tech base, full to bursting with Nazi soldiers! She was discovered immediately! But the heroine knew how to deal with their like! She fought her way through, knocking the Ratzis around like bowling pins! But, so concerned was she with the soldiers, that she missed a sneak attack by the Human Meteor and Volton! (Geez. Maybe if she’d waited for the others before attacking? The Whizzer must be some man in the sack! Giggle.) She’s then ensnared by the Spider Queen’s webbing and pulled forcefully to the ground!

But never fear! The Invaders burst into the Battle-Axis headquarters, ready to rescue their friend and cripple this whole evil operation beyond repair! Dr. Death plunges a syringe into Miss America’s arm and she slips into unconsciousness. He then orders a nearby man in a lab coat to activate a device he calls the Dimension Smasher! As Captain America and the Blazing Skull battle the behemoth known as the Golem, Silver Scorpion fights against the Spider Queen! Still unsure of her armor’s capabilities, she manages to fire an energy blast that gives her foe pause! Next, Namor slowly advances upon Volton through his barrage of electrical blasts! It seems as if our heroes are winning! Battle-Axis is quickly losing ground! That is until the Dimension Smasher hums to life! And then, emerging from the smoke, hovers in a strange alien being! Some know him as the Vision! But he calls himself Aarkus, Destroyer of Evil! (“Destroyer of Evil”? Sounds like a plus actually for the Invaders. Who’s more evil than Nazis after all? Not counting New England Patriots’ ex-quarterback, Tom Brady, of course. That joke was for you, mom!)

The Vision surveys his surroundings and studies those that surround him in awe! Captain America looks to the strange being and pleads that, if he is against all things evil as he says, that he join them in their fight. But instead, the Vision floats past Cap and towards Namor. He raises one hand and places a single finger upon the Atlantean hybrid’s brow. Namor suddenly freezes into a block of ice! Volton exclaims in shock that the Vision is on their side! Dr. Death merely states that why wouldn’t he be? They control his way home! Next, Vision attacks the Silver Scorpion, knocking her out! The Golem finishes the job by defeating Captain America and the Blazing Skull with his mighty fists! The Invaders all now lie defeated! Who will save America now?

To be concluded!

(And don’t forget to donate all unnecessary metals to the war effort! Keep ’em flying, boys!)

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

“Okay, Axis, here we come!” (Part 2 of 4)

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Welcome back to the dangerous days of the second World War…..but in the 90’s. That’s right. This is a story that would most likely take place before Marvel Comics was even called Marvel Comics…..only it is called that. You know, I’m just confusing myself here and run the risk of taking you Unspokenites down with me. Let’s just return to the story. (Sheesh!) I bring you “Invaders” #2…..

A nearly unconscious and severely beaten Miss America crashes through the window in the meeting room of the Liberty Legion! Shocked, Captain America leaps to action and stops her impact on the hard wood floor with his muscled frame. The other Invaders and the Thin Man kneel down to check on their comrade. The Thin Man recalls aloud that he thought she had been on a date this night with the Whizzer. Her love’s codename spoken aloud awakens Miss America and she demands to know his whereabouts! Cap manages to calm her, asking what had happened. She replies that five superpowered Nazis took the Whizzer captive and nearly killed her! In fact, they only let her be because they thought that they had! The Human Torch suggests that she rest while they look into the matter. Not to be denied her vengeance, Miss America finds a stone sculpture of Captain America’s head nearby and crushes it with a single blow! She won’t be left behind! (A simple, “Nah. I’m good, guys,” would be way too simple at this juncture it seems. Women. Am I right?)

The Thin Man suggests that he stay behind and find other heroes to help out. And though this hurts Namor’s pride to ask for aid, Captain America tells the Atlantean King that he feels they’re going to need all of the help they can get this time. Within moments, the Invaders are speeding away within Namor’s high-tech plane as the Thin Man wishes them his best. Meanwhile, over the Hollywoodland sign, a strange and ominous fog descends. Two police officers, out on their nightly patrol, spot this occurrence and slow to a stop in their squad car. They’re horrified as they witness a large, black balloon emerge from within the fog! A rope drops but no-one slides down. Instead, the officers hear a feminine voice from behind! It’s the Spider Queen! As she keeps the two entranced, Volton lands and electrifies both lawmen until their flesh blackens! (Yep. Crispy as KFC I’d reckon too. Damn. That sounds good now!) The other Nazis emerge now with a new ally, the dreaded Sky Shark! They carry a drugged Whizzer with them as yet another man descends the rope ladder. Dr. Death refers to this man as their “ace-in-the-hole”!

Elsewhere, Namor and the Human Torch land at their destination. They seek to give an ally, a Dr. Jacob Goldstein, sanctuary until this attack blew over with the Battle-Axis. Goldstein had once sent a set of armor he’d designed against the Invaders against his will and joined them when they’d given their word to liberate his brother from Nazi clutches. As it turned out, the heroes hardly had to intervene at all as the doctor had transformed himself into a hulking Golem, straight from Jewish folklore, and nearly saved his sibling alone! The two superheroes knock but the door creaks open! Peering inside with the Torch’s firey light, the duo spy Dr. Death and Goldstein together! The evil Nazi leader then orders Goldstein to attack! Begrudgingly, he obeys as he transforms into the clay behemoth, the Golem, once more! The two Invaders fight valiantly, but the creature’s sheer strength is too much in the end! Both lie injured and unconscious in the now flaming residence! Dr. Death orders the Golem to take the Human Torch and to leave the King of Atlantis to die in the fire! The Golem follows orders and Namor is left to perish! (And he didn’t want help! Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Am I actually siding with Nazis on even a marginal level?! Bad narrator! Bad!)

The Sub-Mariner tries his best to crawl through the burning wreckage, but now deeply dehydrated, he finds his enhanced strength completely gone. He almost collapses for good until a gloved hand catches him. Looking for the face of his savior, Namor sees a flaming skull staring back at him instead! (No. It’s not Ghost Rider. This is a Golden Age comic story, written in the 1990’s, and now brought to you in the year 2025. Damn! Got confused again.) Seeing the confusion upon the Atlantean’s face, the hero introduces himself as the Blazing Skull. He then picks up Namor over one shoulder and races from the burning home. Once outside, he states that the Thin Man sent him. He then asks if Namor needs further help. Instead, the aquatic hero looks to a tall water tower and smashes his fists into its wooden legs. It comes crashing down, drenching Namor in life-saving water! The Sub-Mariner roars that he’s now ready to go rescue the Human Torch and woe to any Nazi that’s holding him prisoner!

On their own mission, Miss America flies up to a high window at UCLA’s college campus with Captain America held in her powerful arms. Spying inside, they see three corpses and three of the members of Battle-Axis standing over them! The one known as Strongman holds an enormous high-tech device over his head. They call it an oscillotron and claim that it’s needed for their leader’s sinister scheme. Hearing enough, Cap and Miss America leap through the overhead window and straight into battle! But once again, the heroes are bested by the villainous Battle-Axis! But as they move in for the kill, they’re stopped by a woman clad in silver armor and a large handgun aimed at them! She calls herself the Silver Scorpion and warns not to cross her or they’ll feel the sting of her ray gun! The villains notice the blonde, female “corpse” is missing from their feet! Unimpressed, Spider Queen throws a web at the gun and pulls it from the Silver Scorpion’s hand! She aims it at the armored heroine but soon sees that she’s been fooled. This was no more than a strangly -shaped glue gun! (I’m constantly tricked into thinking long, cardboard tubing is in fact a cool lightsaber. I’m also extremely immature for my age.)

There’s a slight skirmish before Battle-Axis decides that they’re wasting too much time. They have memorized enough of the device’s inner workings to help their leader, so they destroy their ill-gotten prize and make a hasty escape, destroying the room’s foundations on the way out! Unable to give chase, Captain America and Miss America turn to their new ally. But the Silver Scorpion is already checking the others bodies. No hope. They’re gone. She tells how one was the designer of the oscillotron and her armor. The other was the man she loved. She was called this night to be on high alert from the Thin Man. Too little, too late it seems now. The two superheroes thank her and give their condolences before they turn to leave. But the Silver Scorpion won’t be left behind so easily. She wants revenge and while she was thought to be dead, overheard Battle-Axis’ next destination! Begrudgingly, she is allowed to join the heroes. (Blackmail is an excellent basis for a great, lasting partnership.)

To be continued……

And remember to plant a victory garden! (Hmmm? Oh, just Google it!)

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

“Okay, Axis, here we come!” (Part 1 of 4)

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Wait a minute! Isn’t this supposed to be a website dedicated to comic books of the 1990’s? What’re these Golden Age superheroes from the days of World War II doing here? Psych! This article’s about the 4-part 90’s Marvel miniseries starring the Invaders! I bet you were really fooled, huh? (I’m well aware that I didn’t fool anyone and that this intro wasn’t funny in the slightest. Bear with me here. It’s still early in the morning as I write this.) Well, should we begin before I make an even bigger ass out of myself? Let’s…..

Our tale begins in the summer of 1942. President Roosevelt and Prime Minister Churchill had just met over recent attacks off of the Atlantic seaboard and in the Caribbean where Axis submarine attacks were seriously hurting the Allied effort. If this kept up, the tide of the war might turn in favor of the enemy. At this very moment, off the coast of New York City, torpedoes fire with sinister intent from a Nazi submarine! But unbeknownst to the hated Ratzis, the Invaders were hovering overhead within their high-tech, Atlantean airship! The Human Torch and Namor the Submariner burst from the strange craft, ready for battle! Namor swims at high speed toward the aquatic projectile, grabs hold of it, and turns it back towards the Nazis! (I’d be more scared of the tiny trunks he’s wearing than of the returning torpedo! Awkwaaaard!) The explosion forces them to emerge! The enemy tries to use their guns to fire back at the two superpowered beings, but soon find that they’re no match for Namor’s powerful fists and the Human Torch’s fireballs! That’s when things get really interesting! Captain America leaps from the hovering plane, straight into the middle of the rumble!

As expected, this scuffle doesn’t last long. But as the trio of heroes try to decide what to do with their prisoners, the Human Torch fires a barrage of fireballs at the enemy craft. They don’t reach their target however! An energy field has stopped them cold! Looking at this energy’s source, they see five, strangely dressed people now standing upon the craft! They introduce themselves as the Battle-Axis and it is quite apparent which side they’re on in this war! Captain America is confused. These beings sound American! He questions them and they immediately admit that they are! More so than Cap’s Atlantean and synthetic companions! Namor wants to rush them, but the Captain stops him, awaiting an actual attack. He doesn’t have to wait long as electricity fires from one of the men’s fists at the Human Torch! That was it! The battle cry sounds and they charge at their enemies! (Jeez, Cap! Why wait for an attack? You know they’re bad guys. It’s not like they’re there to invite you to a pottery class! They’re Nazi sympathizers!)

Captain America meets his sparring partner first. But the enemy, the Human Meteor, leaps over this attack as the woman behind him, the Spider Queen, fires webbing from her wrists, entangling the star-spangled hero so that he falls over, unable to snap this cocoon! The Spider Queen admits aloud that she hates to attack him, but she won’t side with those that stand with Russians. Cap replies that the Russians are our allies in this bloody war. She should stand by them as he does. This comment enrages her and she kicks him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him! Meanwhile, Namor strikes at his assailant, Strong Man he calls himself. But the large man is way to strong, even for the Avenging Son of Atlantis! He strikes again and again with powerful punches! The Human Meteor tries to help, but Strong Man orders him back! He’s been bullied all of his life and the Prince of Atlantis is his and his alone! (Man, these guys are real pros! They even have the time to introduce themselves in the midst of fierce hand-to-hand combat! Impressive!)

At this moment the Human Torch battles his opponent, Volton, to no avail! His fireballs seem to do very little and while he’s in the midst of throwing more, Volton suddenly encircles the Torch in an aura of electricity, frying him slowly! Never to be beaten by Nazi scum, Captain America uses all of his superior strength to pull out of the webs and slaps the Spider Queen unconscious with a tap! (Lol! Heaven forbid we strike a female Nazi with a closed hand! She might get her widdle evil feewings hurt.) But while Cap’s attention is on this, the last villain, Dr. Death, fires a tranquilizer dart strong enough to penetrate the Invaders leader’s chainmail and knock him unconscious with the toxin within! But just as the supervillains are arguing about how to murder their foes, the Atlantean ship comes from nowhere and hits the Nazi boat! The force knocks the severely injured Invaders into the ocean! The members of Battle-Axis decide to leave in the damaged U-boat. They’ve proven their point. But water is the realm of Namor and he quickly awakens due to the liquid’s healing properties upon his hybrid flesh. He quickly pulls his comrades ashore.

The Invaders make it to the docks where they’re helped ashore by concerned citizens with warm towels for the heroes. But there’s never time to rest in this war. After a brief thanks, the three take off into the air while the dock workers look on in disbelief. They fly to the roof of Times Tower where the Torch puts Cap down and then descends himself. Namor follows suit. They enter the building with the Human Torch lighting the way in the darkness. But in this darkness, a figure suddenly attacks the Torch, knocking the artificial man to the ground! But before he can retaliate, Captain America stops him. The attacker is none other than the Thin Man, stretchy hero of the Liberty Legion! Thin Man apologizes as he thought they were Nazi saboteurs. Cap briefly asks of the whereabouts of the other Legionnaires until he’s satisfied that everyone’s safe. Thin Man asks what brings the famous Invaders from their headquarters in London. The trio speak of investigating news of Nazi planning attacks in the States. That’s when they bring up their superpowered attackers. The Thin Man seems to know who they’re speaking of immediately. (Now I’ve seen stretchy superheroes in comics most of my life, but the Thin Man creeps me out! He’s like a roadside accident. You don’t want to look, but…..) He pulls out files and files on superpowered people from America that have suddenly switched sides! The members of Battle-Axis are in those files!

At this precise moment, a loving couple walks through a beautiful park on Manhattan’s east side. They speak of new love and silly, past squabbles until they suddenly kiss. But as they share this romantic moment, the woman notices a shimmer of something metallic out in the water. Both look more intently and recognize the form of a submarine below the water! That’s when the two burst into action, quickly changing into costume! Within moments, Miss America and the Whizzer race into action! (Yeah, I know. He’s called “The Whizzer” and he wears a yellow costume. Grow up, you guys! Heehee. Might as well call him “Pee-Man”.) The two superheroes debate what would bring a sub this close inland. This conversation allows them to be blindsided by the quick fists of Battle-Axis’ Human Meteor and for Miss America to be ensnared by the Spider Queen’s webs! Both heroes seem to be battered unconscious at this point! The villains speak of their scheme to now travel to the Mojave Desert for the next part of their plan as they begin to tie up their prey more securely. But Miss America suddenly breaks free of her bindings! She realizes she can’t rescue the Whizzer as well as escape! She must leave him behind to go get help! The Human Meteor and Volton spring into action, giving chase!

Miss America twists and turns through the air, trying in vain to shake her pursuers, but they stay on her tail, gaining on her! Finally she does some quick thinking and falls back, grabbing both villains by their arms! She then swings them into one another with explosive results! When they come to, Miss America is gone. Was she incinerated by the blast, or did she somehow escape? The Human Meteor and Volton decide to report back to Dr. Death that the heroine is no more. They take their leave. Meanwhile, hanging by one weakened arm from a steeple of a nearby church, Miss America tries not to fall! What will become of her lover should she perish? She decides she’d rather not find out!

To be continued! Stay tuned and remember to buy War Bonds for the war effort!

The Gimmick Era Has Never Been Covered So Well.