Welcome back, Unspokenites! You know, I could bore you all with little tidbits about my life and share some “clever” musings. But let’s do what we’re all really here for….. to ogle pics of long-legged, sexy women! Umm…..I mean, to read the last exciting ending of our Wonder Woman epic! (So embarrassed……kinda.)

The Contest now decided, Artemis stood before Queen Hippolyta. The Queen was wasting no time in swearing in this new Wonder Woman. Artemis was presented with winged sandals, gifts from the god, Hermes, that would grant her flight, and the Gauntlets of Atlas that would multiply her strength by ten! Diana looked on, a look very close to jealousy in her eyes. Hippolyta granted her the title of Wonder Woman and continued that not only did she now accept her as a sister, but not unlike a daughter as well. (Damn! Want some salt to rub into Diana’s wounds there, Hippolyta? Jeez! Now she just needs to stick out her tongue to complete her transformation into that of a bratty child.) The Queen continued her speech, but it fell upon deaf ears. Artemis finished strapping on her sandles and immediately lept into the air. It was the power of flight that interested her at this particular moment. Who could blame her?

As Artemis flew on, Diana followed her mother into a nearby temple. The Queen of the Amazons decreed that her only child would now devote her time to training to take her mother’s place some day as she was now finished with being Wonder Woman. Hippolyta walked on as she spoke but suddenly stopped in horror as she spied a bust of her deceased sister, Antiope, upon a nearby pedestal! The Queen cried out her sister’s name in shock! Diana didn’t miss a beat. She continued her mother’s unspoken words. Yes, Antipoe. The small statue depicted a sister that Hippolyta had just somehow neglected to ever mention. Diana continued by repeating Antiope’s last words to her sister before fleeing, after Herakles’ brutal assault so long ago. She then asked, “Is Herakles my true father? Don’t bother to answer. It would all probably just be lies anyway.” The Queen tried to retort, but Diana was gone, she took to the skies, stopping by a hovering Artemis! (Damn! Things just got deep up in here! She just absolutely schooled mommy dearest! That was friggin’ awesome!) Curious, Artemis asked where she was flying at such a reckless speed. Diana said one word, home.

One week later, in Boston, the streets were filled with rubble as two groups of superpowered assailants battled one another in the middle of the city! Armor-piercing rounds and energy blasts filled the air as the populace did their best to flee! A brunette, female reporter took cover and asked the hiding police officers the situation. One replied that it was thought that these were henchmen for two competing mobs. But when the fighting got uncomfortably close to those speaking, one of the beings approached them will ill intent in his eyes! He charged! But before the large being got too close, a golden lasso wrapped around his midsection and he was hurled with enhanced speed and strength to the shattered street! This was followed by swinging the creature into a nearly destroyed wall face first! Artemis’ winged sandals fluttered as she lowered herself in full costume. The other thugs noticed this and opened fire! But the new Wonder Woman merely sidestepped this all and fired Amazonian arrows at her attackers! They dropped simultaneously! She muttered to herself as she stepped on one of the men’s large chests, “Fools.” (Whoo-hoo! Great entrance! Ten out of ten! Points for showmanship! Saucy!)

But before anyone present could relax, the shards of broken concrete around them seemed to come together and form, one enormous humanoid creature! Artemis fired a well-placed arrow at it’s eye socket, but to no avail! It reached one gigantic hand towards her head! That’s when death came from above! Diana’s powerful leg came smashing into the beast’s torso from the skies, shattering it completely! Artemis gave a snide remark about the heroine’s tardiness but Diana brushed this off as she examined the creature’s remains with keen interest and a sense of knowing. (Check out Diana’s new costume! So sleek! So dark! So…..lame!) Some time later, in New York City, Artemis spoke to her agents as she surveyed her new penthouse apartment. She asked them what she must do for all that she had been given. One laughed and replied that it was simple, just be good enough. Don’t be a waste of their time and money. This angered the Amazon. She pinned him to the wall with arrows before heading downstairs to a press conference. She was introduced to the world as the new Wonder Woman!

During the interview, Artemis was asked how she would be different from her predecessor. Her short answer was that she would succeed at her mission. Blood splattered a television in a bar where the press conference was being played. Diana was brutally beating thug after thug with her gloved fists. It seemed as if Hippolyta’s Contest had created not one, but two vicious, Amazonian vigilantes that fateful day. And to think, this was all meant to bring Diana home to Themyscira and remove her from danger. Now I ask you, did the Queen succeed? Hell no! In retrospect, it was the 90’s after all.

Never the end.