Tag Archives: Medusa

90s Comics, 90s Indy, 90s Indy Stuff, Uncategorized

Fun With Monsters

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I defy any of you to best me at the “Monster in my Pocket” game on the original Nintendo! Come at me, bro! That said, the “Monster in my Pocket” miniature figures began appearing in toy and department stores in 1990. They were colorful, detailed, and just plain awesome! They would continue to be produced until 1992 by Matchbox. For those of you that don’t know, these small rubber figurines depicted fantastic monsters ranging from folklore to mythology throughout the world. But enough with the history lesson. Let’s begin our look back at the first issue of their short-lived but amazing comic book series…..

In a dark and faraway castle, two of the world’s greatest monsters clash in a titanic struggle! The Warlock catches his longtime foe, the Vampire, in a ring of arcane power! But the Vampire is one step ahead and escapes by transforming his body into mist! That’s when the two finally halt their fight. They’re just too evenly matched. The Vampire reasons that the Warlock would have the monsters of the world conquer humanity now, while he doesn’t think the time is ripe and to wait awhile longer. Warlock agrees with this. Vampire continues that perhaps, rather than continuing their endless struggle, each of them will amass the biggest groups of the world’s most terrifying creatures and the leader with the largest number of followers will win the contest and implement his plan unheeded. The Warlock agrees and the two alpha monsters take their leave to begin recruiting. (Yeah, I know. The Vampire is obviously Count Dracula with a baldness problem and who the hell knows what the Warlock’s real name is. Why are their monikers so bland, you ask? The answer is simple: Dracula was offended by being turned into a colorful toy and threatened to sue. What an ass!)

The Vampire approaches the Werewolf first while the Warlock travels to Medusa’s temple, the hidden lair of the Phantom of the Opera, and to parts unknown to convince Great Beast itself to join his cause. The Vampire next finds and reasons with Frankenstein’s Monster and talks with the Mummy. This recruiting goes on and on until the monsters have raised their horrifying groups. They then meet at the secret point on Earth where evil was first born. (I’m guessing that’s somewhere in Iowa. What?! I was born and still reside in Iowa! Damn! Sensitive much?) As the hellish legions stare at one another across a great divide in the firey, rocky earth, the Vampire confers with the Mummy about how strangely the Warlock’s monsters are behaving. The Warlock turns to Medusa at this time and she admits that the Vampire has the numbers in his favor. Warlock simply asks a minion if the elements to his plan were in readiness. The two enemies then raise a toast before they begin counting. It’s then that a great flash occurs and all present are momentarily blinded as they’re engulfed in intense light!

The Vampire’s group of monsters awaken in darkness. For those not blessed with night vision, a gremlin lights a match to illuminate their surroundings. They all appear to be trapped, surrounded by strong walls! Cursing the Warlock for his obvious treachery, the Vampire tries to break them free. Nothing. But when it comes to superior strength, the Frankenstein Monster is nearly unmatched. He easily punches a hole through their prison wall. Looking about, they’re all surprised to find that their “prison” was no more than an overturned cardboard box and that they are only mere inches tall! To make matters worse, a stray cat has just discovered what it presumes to be an easy meal! Meanwhile, the Warlock and his band of creatures are discovering that they are in the same situation but in a completely different location! The master of arcane magic is outraged that his vampiric adversary would sink low enough to shrink him and his beastly cohorts. (Awww! Aren’t they cute? Question: How has everyone been meeting Medusa’s cursed gaze without becoming no more than stone statues? Ah! The writer didn’t expect my level of nerdy attention to detail! Fool!)

Back at Vampire’s camp, Werewolf howls in outrage that a mere house cat would threaten him! Against Vampire’s orders, he sprigs and attacks the feline! But alas, he’s knocked aside with a swift swipe from the cat’s clawed paw! The cat advances upon the fallen Werewolf! But the ground beneath it’s paws erupts with mud and sludge! Afraid the alley cat retreats! The Swamp Beast slowly emerges from the ground. They have all been saved from a grisly fate. Vampire decides that they need to escape to a safer place to think. Without warning, Frankenstein’s Monster throws the Mummy into the back of a parked pickup truck! He then motions for the others to climb the deceased Egyptian’s wrappings! They do so and plot as the titanic vehicle pulls away. Vampire asks if, should they discover a proper laboratory, Dr. Jekyll could perhaps reverse whatever has been done to them. Unsure, the doctor agrees to try. (A million New Kids on the Block advertisements later, we arrive at the next part of our tale. Sheesh!)

Later, after leaving the relative safety of the vehicle, the monsters round a fire hydrant the size of a large house. The Vampire is lost in thought by this time, worried for the fate of his monstrous companions. He pauses as the others walk on. He suddenly spies a woman’s ankle several times his size as a female pedestrian walks unknowingly overhead the Lord of the Undead! Unable to control his base instincts, he transforms into a miniscule bat and flies towards her exposed neck! As the others roar for him to stop, the Vampire bites down! Annoyed by this slight irritation, she smacks what she presumes to be a mosquito! The dazed Vampire plummets towards the sidewalk! Luckily, the Swamp Beast’s soft body breaks his fall! The monsters are covered with disgusting swamp muck as it flies everywhere! Still ravenous with hunger, Vampire runs after the woman, grabbing hold to one of her swiftly moving heels! The other monsters follow their leader, afraid for his very life! (Well, someone has a fetish! And for once, it’s not Quentin Tarantino! Ewww! But I digress. “Pulp Fiction” and “Reservoir Dogs” are the bomb, yo!)

But, in order to not only save his leader, but the others as well, Frankenstein’s Monster forcibly removes the Vampire from the woman’s person! The only damage done is a slit in her stockings from sharp vampiric fingernails. Regaining his senses, Vampire orders the monsters to take cover. He spies a jacket hanging from a rack in the clothing store they’re now in and orders them into the chest pocket. Unfortunately, this is the same jacket that’s purchased by a young teen moments later. The teen, Jack, flirts with the sales girl while she rings up his purchase. The monsters listen on while he shyly asks the girl out on a date. The girl, Tina, accepts and Jack puts on the jacket before he even leaves the store. He heads home soon after, a huge smile on his face. When Jack reaches his house, he rushes in the door, barely acknowledging his parents or his younger brother, Tom, on the way up the stairs to his bedroom. He absently tosses the garment over his desk chair as he prepares for his night out. He sits back then and hears complaints emanating from his new jacket’s pocket! (Watch out, Jack! There’s monsters in the pocket! See what I did there? You know? Like the toyline name…..I’m so underappreciated…..)

Jack investigates just as soon as the monsters exit the pocket. Instead of crying out in shock, Jack seems more curious and amused than anything. He asks who they are and how they got to be in his jacket pocket. But instead of answering, the Vampire attempts to mesmerize Jack with his hypnotic gaze. It fails miserably. But though his powers seem to be diminished at this size, the Frankenstein Monster still has a good portion of his strength! He leaps towards the teen’s face and punches him square in the nose! Shocked, Jack retreats from the monsters a bit. This only lasts for a moment before an argument begins between the Vampire and the human youth! Tom passes by his brother’s closed door and hears a commotion. He opens the door and witnesses his brother lying on his back on the carpet with a small army of miniature creatures attacking him! Tom looks to a bowl he was carrying a snack inside. Without thinking he lunges at the small creatures and covers them with the bowel, trapping them! (Bet you didn’t think an ancient monster’s main weakness was Tupperware! Drains them of their unholy abilities. And keeps them fresh! )

While Tom covers the dish with a lid and seals it shut, Jack briefly describes what all had occurred to his younger brother. Tom seems to take this strange story in stride. He lifts the bowl up and promises out loud to free the monsters should they vow to behave. They agree and are released. The Vampire explains to the two humans their plight and desperate need of a lab. Jack replies that he can take them all to his high school’s lab in the morning, but for now, he has a date. (Way to think only of your hormones there, Jack!) Tom agrees to look after them while Jack heads out. Tom sets them all in front of the television to keep them occupied. Oddly enough, it works! Jack leaves the house and jumps onto his motorcycle. He speeds off. But his exit doesn’t go unnoticed. The Warlock and Medusa watch his departure with keen interest from the bushes! While on his date, Jack stumbles over his words hopelessly. That’s when he begins to hear advice in his ear on how to woo the girl. The Vampire, having secretly tagged along, is hiding upon Jack’s shoulder! And though Jack ruins every poetic line he’s given, Tina finds him charming nonetheless.

Back at home, the monsters are interrupted from watching a late-night show by the sudden appearance of the Warlock’s face on the screen! He orders an attack! That’s when the other group of monsters burst from the device, shattering the screen as they do so! The Vampire’s group are surprised to discover that the Warlock’s monsters are shrunk down as well! Elsewhere, Jack receives a kiss at the end of his date. He’s walking on air when he returns to his home. But he is far from prepared from what he finds as he opens his bedroom door! Two armies of history’s most terrifying creatures are fighting a titanic war upon his bedspread! The Vampire leaves Jack’s pocket in mist form and pleads for Jack’s assistance! Looking around, the youth discovers a fly-swatter. Taking it in his hand, he attacks the enemy monsters! Unprepared for this onslaught, the Warlock calls for a tactical retreat! They then hastily escape from his open bedroom window. Jack and Tom’s father would later question the state of the wrecked television set. The boys would reply that the picture tube must have blown. Satisfied with this response, he leaves the brothers alone. It looks like things are about to get really interesting in their young lives!

End.

90s Comics, 90s Marvel, Uncategorized

Not Those Guardians, Not That War

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Greetings, Legions of the Unspoken!  Dean Compton is back with you here to delve into some more 90’s goodness.  I am excited that spring is finally sprung, baseball is in full swing, and that some small indie film called Avengers: Infinity War has dropped.  You probably haven’t heard of it because it’s so obscure and there’s been almost no build-up.

OR IT’S THE BIGGEST FILM MARVEL HAS BROUGHT US YET! WHICHEVER!

We’re all very excited.  Those of us who braved the speculation crashes of the 90’s have been waiting for this movie for around twenty-five years.  If you had told me then that one day there’d be a movie based on Thanos’s exploits with the Infinity Gems, I would have thought you were Mephisto, prince of lies.  Or at least Zarathos or maybe one of those weird demons from Hellblazer or something.  Alas, here we are, though, on the precipice of what is hopefully a monumental moment for the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

‘Round these parts we are more interested in the then, than the now, and one of the things that really interested me as I first started my deep dive into comic books some 27 years ago (it’s mega unfair that it has been that long) was the entire Infinity Gauntlet saga.  My first big exposure to superheroes outside of cartoons was the Impel Marvel Trading Cards, series 2 in particular, and the Infinity Gauntlet card captured my attention.  There was Thanos, basking in all the glory that comes with omnipotence.  I didn’t know what had happened, and sadly, I was too late to keep up with the original saga month to month.  Lucky me, though, as The Infinity War was about to break out!

One of the things that attracted me to Infinity War was the epic gatefold covers, many of which depicted the mightiest heroes in the Marvel Universe in a tumultuous struggle with sharp-toothed doppelgangers that looked like they had stepped out of a mirror universe from Tales from the Darkside or something.  What appealed to me even more was that the saga was so large that it burst out of the mini-series like the insides of a tomato hitting the ground, spilling out into almost every other Marvel title!  Most of you will brush this off as a lame sales grab, and, well, it was definitely a sales grab, but it was a sales grab in the best way!

Did you want to see more of Wonder Man’s inner struggle during the Infinity War? How would Sue Richards deal with the seeming death of her husband? Perhaps you wanted to see what happened to Sleepwalker during this struggle?  (Based on sales, you probably didn’t.)  The crossovers meant you could, and they meant that you could try out other titles you hadn’t really given a shot to before.  I know we’re all tired of them now, but this was still a new concept to me then.  Sort of how when I was 16 I was like, “GODDAMN, I CAN’T WAIT TO DRIVE!” but fuck, now I’d almost rather do anything else besides drive, like, y’know, writing crappy articles like this.

One team that I hadn’t gotten a handle on from the Marvel Cards I had seen was the Guardians of the Galaxy.  I don’t recall seeing any of the GOTG (yes, I’m lazy – this article is free, y’all) in the Marvel Universe Series 2 set (cue up dude in the comments proving me wrong), so when I saw the Infinity War crossover issues, I was intrigued.  Who were these guys?  They’re from the future?  Why does that Rambo-looking dude have Captain America’s shield?  (For those of you coming in here who aren’t big pads, big guns, no feet 90’s comic book fans, the GOTG were originally a super-team from a possible Marvel Universe future that eventually diverged.  You’ll see no Star-Lord, Gamora, or Rocket Raccoon here.  Get ready for Major Victory, Nikki, Charlie-27, Starhawk, and more!)

I had already picked up a GOTG issue where they fought a street gang of folks based on The Punisher (which is just as awesome as it sounds), but these issues got me very interested.  An added bonus is this is one of my first experiences with The Inhumans, one of the most underrated superhero groups of all time!

 

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I can’t be the only person who’s a sucker for superhero comics featuring sidebars of the faces of the characters located therein!

The issue takes off with Major Victory, the leader of the GOTG, berating the rest of the team for heading into the past on a mission of pure genocide against the Badoon.  The Badoon are the raison detre for the GOTG, as their attack on our solar system basically wiped out humanity, so the original GOTG united against them and their tyranny!  Somewhere along the way, though, Starhawk convinced them to go back in time and destroy the Badoon before they can destroy humanity.  Major Victory, being the guy with Cap’s shield, doesn’t think too much of this plan, but before he can thoroughly chew the team out, their newest member, Talon, stumbles in.  I’d say he seems sick as a dog, but he’s sort of a cat, so that seems wrong.

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Starhawk is giving Talon a death stare here; what’s he so mad at our cat pal about?

Talon collapses as the team tries to take him to sick bay, but as he does, he tells them to get him to the moon.  Specifically, he wants to go to Attilan, which is the secret city that is home to none other than the Inhumans and their royal family!

The GOTG speed off in that direction, but they have no way of knowing that one of the first blows of The Infinity War has been stuck.  The headquarters of The Fantastic Four (notably good pals of The Inhumans and in particular the royal family), Four Freedoms Plaza, has been blown up by unknown forces, and the fate of the FF and many other superheroes there is unknown!  So to say the least, it really isn’t the best time for a group of superhumans that The Inhumans have no idea exists to teleport into Attilan.  I know this is gonna shock you, but that’s exactly what the GOTG do!  Of course, The Innumans act calmly when Major Victory tries to explain their presence.

 

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Just kidding, y’all; these heroes are gonna fight!  MAKE MINE MARVEL!

The Inhumans and the GOTG punch on each other a bit while telling each other their names, which is legit my favorite kind of fight.  Major Victory is aware the fight is usless, though, and he unleashes a mighty psychokinetic blast that somehow convinces Black Bolt that the GOTG are the good guys.

 

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If the Care Bears were a part of the Marvel Universe, this is totally what their stare would be.

The Inhumans take Talon to the Randac Medcal Center, which, honestly, is what all medical centers should be called henceforth.  As he gets the care he needs, the other Inhumans explain to the GOTG about the explosion at Four Freedoms Plaza, and how they don’t have any idea what may have caused this tragedy.

The two superhero squads (See what I did there?  Now that theme is stuck in your head.)  don’t have a lot of time to discuss the explosion because just as the conversation starts, an array of doppelgangers of both the Inhumans and the Guardians rudely interrupts them.

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Regardless of who they are doppelgangers of, Doppelgangers are always rude.

These doppelgangers from the Infinity War are great.  The razor teeth look genuinely creeped me out back in the day, and to be honest, that look is still sort of unnerving now.  The Infinity War doppelgangers look like the people that are just like us that live on the other side of mirrors.  You can say they’re fake, but let’s be honest — deep down, we all believe in that world on the other side of the mirror, and it sprang to life in the Marvel Universe during the Infinity War.

The good news for the Inhumans and the Guardians is that these doppelgangers go down easy for now.  After Talon reveals a big secret about the future of the Inhumans to the Royal Family, the Guardians split for Avengers Mansion on Earth.  Major Victory has no recollection of these events, and if something has happened to The Avengers, then the Guardians are going to get to the bottom of it!

While the Guardians are teleporting down from Attilan, Doctor Octopus has assembled a ragtag group of villains together in the wake of the explosion at Four Freedoms Plaza.  Doc Ock has information that not only did Four Freedoms Plaza explode, but that nearly every superhero in the city was inside the building when it blew up!  He suggests the group (consisting of Doc Ock, Powderkeg, Jackhammer, Oddball, Titania, the Abosrbing Man, and Yellowjacket [Rita Demara]) attack and loot Avengers Mansion while the heroes are away.  Of course, he is just using these folks, and the good bad doctor plans to abscond with all of the advanced Avengers technology himself!

As this meeting is happening, the Guardians arrive at Avengers mansion, only to be met by the fiercest resistance possible from a slightly out of shape butler and his vacuum cleaner!

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This Jarvis is so much better than movie Jarvis. Fight Me.
Jarvis opens up to the Guardians that the explosion at Four Freedoms Plaza didn’t kill the assembled superheroes and that a task force of heroes has left Earth via mystic means.  Other heroes remain behind for now.  Charlie-27 suggests that the Guardians head that way, when a member of Avengers Mansion security bursts in to alert the Guardians and Jarvis about Doc Ock’s villain team just outside the mansion!  The Avengers security team beefs up with some weaponry while the Guardians of the Galaxy face off with what Jarvis is calling another incarnation of the Masters of Evil!  Talon points out this is a dumb name, but he’s a cat dude named after a bird’s foot, so I dunno that he is in a position to hurl that sort of insult.  Then again, Absorbing Man just calls his group that on the next page, so I guess it’s all fair game.

 

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It’s a rule in the Marvel Universe that anyone who has Cap’s shield is automatically in charge of the situation.

The Guardians spring into action with only Charlie-27 really having a lot of problems. Since he had to take care of the Masters’ most powerful member, I suppose we have to cut him a bit of slack.  Nikki has no issues with Yellowjacket, and she notes that Yellowjacket’s heart didn’t really seem to be in the fight.  There’s a lot of struggle elsewhere, and while the fracas is going on, Doc Ock sneaks off to engage in a contingency plan.  Starhawk, meanwhile, is being confronted by his doppelganger, and in what’s only a minor league asshole move for the guy if you have read a lot of GOTG, is looking forward to being absorbed by his doppelganger until he realizes that by doing so his own free will would be subverted.

 

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Starhawk is supposed to have new omniscience as “the one who knows” but he seems to be the only one during the entire Infinity War crossover who doesn’t know that getting absorbed by the doppelgangers is a really bad idea.
 

The Guardians take out the Masters of Evil, although they need the help of Yellowjacket’s face turn to get the job done.  Nikki and Yellowjacket take off during the battle for the inside of Avengers Mansion, and when the other Guardians finally catch up to them, they’ve been overcome by Doc Ock and a few members of the Masters of Evil we hadn’t seen yet!

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More intimidating fat dude: Kingpin or Doc Ock?

With that it’s on to Guardians of the Galaxy #29 to wrap up the Guardians involvement in the Infinity War, and this time the war comes home!  And by the war coming home, I mean a bunch of doppelgangers of both the Guardians and the Masters of Evil are gonna be such a big deal in the last part of this story that they are the only fucking thing on the cover.

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The one on the bottom left looks like a Morbius doppelganger.  RISE OF THE MIDNIGHT SONS CROSSOVER, Y’ALL!

Also, while we are looking at this cover, how could you even tell which one of those Shockers is the doppelganger?  Both have weird looking eyes, and neither have those sharp ass teeth that should have clued Starhawk in that merging with the doppelgangers is a bad idea.

Another bad idea would be to turn your back on any member of the GOTG, even one who you had previously thought defeated.  Doc Ock has no knowledge of the Guardians, so he and the other Masters of Evil are surprised when Nikki and Yellowjacket come back from their unconscious state and turn the tables on the Masters of Evil!

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Make your own “they shocked the Shocker” jokes here.

Both teams soon have bigger problems on their hands, and I mean this literally as Gargantua’s doppelganger teleports onto the scene.  Other doppelgangers of both the Guardians and the Masters of Evil start arriving left and right, leaving Doc Ock and Major Victory no choice but to have their teams join forces to attempt to repel these ungodly abominations, although Gargantua needs no encouragement to take the fight right to the razor toothed mirror men!

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Fucking Ouch

The fight seems endless, as more and more doppelgangers pour out of portals, threatening to overwhelm hero and villain alike.  Due to the actions of Galactus in another comic book, the doppelgangers all disappear like a bad memory.  Really, though, shouldn’t that be a good memory?  We forget the good stuff all the time, while we continue to torture ourselves with the bad memories late at night when we should be sleeping.  All apologies for that; it’s a tad morose to be in an article highlighted by an evil giant punching through the chest of his more evil doppelganger.  I won’t let it happen again, folks

Anyhow, with the day saved, Doc Ock is of the mindset that the Masters of Evil should take out the Guardians and resume with their plan to take over Avengers Mansion.  The Masters of Evil treat Doc Ock the way you treat your pal who just doesn’t know when the party’s over and turn on him faster than a new superhero universe popped up in the early 90’s!

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Never mind that Shocker joke you made earlier; dude himself had it covered the whole goddamn time.

All’s well that ends well, and if the bad guys are gonna chase themselves off, I reckon it doesn’t get much better than that.  Yellowjacket also stays behind, and soon she’ll head back to the future with the Guardians and even join the team!  Before she gets to bask in the glory of being in Marvel’s premiere 31st century super hero squad, there’s just one more task to complete.  Jarvis takes his duties seriously, and he insists that the Guardians of the Galaxy become the Custodians of the Castle as Jarvis walks right up to them and demands they take part in repairs and cleanup!

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Did the Fantastic Four really start like what?  A janitorial crew?  I don’t recall that, but with all the retcons they’ve had, who fucking knows?

Jarvis getting the Guardians to clean up Avengers Mansion might be the greatest moment in the history of the Marvel Universe.  Fight me if you disagree.  Or better yet, fight my evil doppelganger.  The one with the teeth.

Hope everyone enjoyed this look back at Infinity War!  It’s definitely a fun part of the larger crossover, although it could have used a bit of Thanos or Warlock to really spruce things up and make it feel more like a part of the larger crossover.  It would have been nice, but it wasn’t really needed.  Other than that minor oversight, this is a great example of how a larger crossover should spill into a book.  No one who just read this felt ripped off because some of the events wrap up elsewhere.  If you were a regular reader of Guardians of the Galaxy, it developed characters further (some of which aren’t mentioned in this write-up.  Go read the book, people!)  These three issues also did a great job displaying the Guardians to a non-regular reader.  All in all, for all the flak that 90’s crossovers get (some of which is deserved), this shows you how that 90’s mega-epic could work in a spin-off crossover if done right!

Everyone, enjoy the movie.  It’s amazing that we’re gonna get to see this, right?  Just try and remember being a teenager in 1992, eyes wide open over Thanos’s shenanigans in the Marvel Universe then, and try and think about that young person would feel if they knew what they were gonna see.  We’ve got our tickets for Saturday!  I can’t wait!