Nope. Your eyes doth not deceive you. This series did in fact originally contain five parts. That was until I started writing this article today and realized that I’d left part two out of the storyline completely! In my defense, it was a special #0 issue, and I have been dealing with a titanic amount of stress in my personal life as of late. Awww, hell! Just go ahead and spank me! I deserve your wrath! Just really go at it! Anyway, now on to the new part three…..(Thanks for the fierce spanking by the way. I love you guys. Totes.)

The arrow sailed through the air towards it’s intended victim, Princess Diana, also known as Wonder Woman! But then, strangely enough, Artemis sprang from the shadows and snatched it right before it made contact! Recovering from the shock quickly, Diana helped Artemis to her feet. (Does anyone else think they should kiss here? No? Just me?) One of Diana’s other teammates pointed to where the shot had to have been fired from. Nothing now. The assassin had wisely fled. Later, Princess Diana’s team was announced as the winners by Queen Hippolyta. The other teams cheered their victory. This baffled Artemis. Why cheer those that had beaten you. Diana merely smiled at this. Because they were genuinely happy for their sisters and had enjoyed competing. Diana then walked off towards the others, leaving Artemis to ponder her strange words. Moments later, Artemis snuck off towards a heavily wooden area. There, she was greeted by one of her friends, Patrice. Artemis ignored the greeting and slammed Patrice into a nearby tree. Getting face to face, she spoke through gritted teeth that she had recognized Patrice’s arrow. Patrice replied with frightened words that she only meant to help Artemis win the Contest. Artemis replied that that wasn’t possible. Hippolyta would never allow her daughter to lose. It was more important to prove their worth to the others. Diana, hidden completely nearby, smiled as she took in these new events.

A short time later, within Queen Hippolyta’s tent, General Phillipus remarked to her queen that the coming race would take all of her sisters’ might to traverse. But what were the red marks on the map? Hippolyta answered that they were known as “deadfalls”. Areas that she herself had seen ancient and dangerous magics reawakened in. Phillipus looked horrified at this omission! She then spoke to the Queen of her fears. The Amazons could actually die as they tried to prove themselves! Hippolyta roared that her General had forgotten herself and that this was never to be spoken of again. Obeying immediately, General Phillipus went silent. The next morning, Phillipus tried to give a hidden clue as to what dangers lie ahead in the coming race. Diana tried to question her further, but the gong sounded and the race was on! The Amazons first leapt into the deep water and broke into a quick swim towards nearby land. But this was to be no ordinary swim. A titanic whirlpool opened beneath them all, pulling every last female warrior under! (Well that’s just a revolting thought. All of those sexy Amazons, dressed in wet, white togas that stick to their glistening, perfect forms. So gross…..hehehehe.)

As Diana fought for air, another Amazon shot past her, downwards! Unless she could save her, she would be the first casualty of this whirling, wet vortex! Just then, Artemis grabbed the woman by her long hair and pulled her upward to safety! Diana fought against the mighty current herself but, just as she was making some headway, another vision of Herakles struck her like a fist! The demigod was choking the very life out of Hippolyta’s sister, Antiope! She screamed as loud she could for her sister’s aid! But Hippolyta merely hid, whispering that she could not. She loved him. But just before the last speck of life was about to drain from her sister, Hippolyta grabbed a nearby vase and shattered it over Herakles head, knocking him unconscious! Hippolyta helped her sister to her feet. Wasting little time, Antiope took a relic known as the Mask of Proteus and placed it over her own face. To all concerned, her female form magically became the body of Herakles himself! Using this front, she ordered Herakles’ men to stop their brutal attacks upon the Amazonian women at once or they would have to answer to him! They complied immediately. Antiope then handed Hippolyta the mask and ordered her to take it. For women needed to believe her to be the heroine this day if their new society was to succeed. Hippolyta refused at first, but finally relented. Antiope left the next day by boat. Her last words were that she would never trust her sister again. (Damn! Disney left this part out of the “Hercules” animated movie! “Zero to Hero”, my ass! )

Wonder Woman awakens on precious, dry land and is helped to her feet by Artemis. But the red-head has little to say before sprinting off, back to the race. Diana warns another Amazon that that was no ordinary whirlpool, magic was most definitely in play. They had all better watch themselves carefully as the Contest continues. The two turn in just enough time for one to be ensnared by a thrown net! Winged Greek monstrosities, known as Harpies, descend upon their large, bat-like wings! They hiss as they swoop at their caught prey! Diana had rolled free of the net and prepared herself for battle! She wrenched a forked weapon from one and impaled the creature upon it! She knocked another one out with the weapon’s end! But Diana failed to see a second Harpy approaching her from behind! A well-placed arrow caught it through the throat! Diana turned to see her would-be assassin from earlier! Patrice gloated that they were now even! Diana ignored this and freed her sister-in-arms from the net as the other Harpies fled. (Sadly, even with today’s advanced technologies, there is no permanent cure for Harpies.) With hardly another word, Wonder Woman takes the net and pitchfork and speeds off!

She sees a large cliff and uses her new instruments to scale it with ease. But upon reaching the top, what she finds horrifies the Amazonian Princess to her core! Other Amazons…..turned to stone! Medusa! And just as the name hits her, she hears the terrifying snake hiss from behind! But Diana is hardly a fool. She closes her eyes and waits. And just as Medusa begins to coil her large tale around the Princess, Diana uses the pitchfork as a type of lever and catapults both of them off of the cliff top! As an enraged Medusa falls to her certain doom, Diana snags her net from earlier around a close tree limb! She pulls herself to safety and begins to run like she’s never run before! (Run, Forrest! Run!) She passes the others with ease but runs neck with Artemis! But then, tragedy strikes as Diana unexpectedly trips and falls, mere steps before the finish line! That’s it! Artemis is now the new Wonder Woman!

To be concluded…..