The time has finally arrived, Unspokenites! It’s the conclusion of my endless prattling about the “Silver Surfer: Herald Ordeal” storyline! Yay! I bet you’re all really jazzed that this amazing journey we’ve been on together is ending at last. You think you are?! I had to write every damn word of it! I tell you, some people only care about themselves. I’m sorry. You know I love you sexy, sexy nerds. Kisses!

The mighty Galactus sends metallic tendrils from his enormous ship to the very core of the nearby planet. It’s through this method that the ancient god feeds. But before the planet crumbles to nothingness, Morg stands there and watches the process with delight. It’s then that current Herald hears his name called out from behind. Turning, he sees the former Heralds hovering and powered up for battle! The Silver Surfer proclaims that this madness ends now. There will be no more senseless killing. Morg will be stopped here and now. (Gives you chills, huh? You wouldn’t believe my nipples right now!) Morg is not amused. He fires an energy blast from his weapon at the powerful quartet, nearly incinerating Terrax! The Surfer pulls Terrax free, saving his life! Terrax thanks his former enemy and says that, due to Morg’s advanced power, they haven’t a chance in a fight! The Surfer will have to convince Galactus himself to relinquish Morgs power! The Silver Surfer is not pleased, but he begrudgingly agrees, leaving the fight!

Air-Walker strikes first, connecting with the monster’s jaw with a powerful punch! Nova then descends and asks Terrax where the Silver Surfer has fled to. Terrax replies that he is off to save them all. In reply, Nova adds to Terrax’s power as they simultaneously blast Morg with the Power Cosmic! Meanwhile, the Surfer roars Galactus’ name, flying into the god’s ship. Galactus barely notices this intrusion, but does reply that the former Herald is no longer welcome here and should leave with haste. Otherwise, Morg will remove him forcefully. The cosmic hero replies that Morg is the subject to which he must be heard. Galactus turns his attention towards the Surfer. As their exchange begins, the battle continues outside with Morg pinning Firelord, his deadly axe raised! But before he can land a lethal blow, Nova fires upon him from behind and Air-Walker prepares for yet another strike at their common foe! (Anyone notice that when it came to the actual slugfest, the Silver Surfer didn’t fight too hard over being convinced to get lost? Cough…..wussy…..cough…..!)

Galactus fires energy from his eyes at the Surfer, but he blocks with energy from his clenched fist! Galactus, it seems, will not be told what to do! Back at the fight, Air-Walker smacks Morg’s axe from his grasp! He follows with another punch towards the face! But Morg easily dodges this time and tears Air-Walker’s arm from his body and strikes the automaton with it! (With his own arm?! That’s friggin’ metal, baby! No pun intended.) Back in the ship, the Silver Surfer blasts Galactus in his titanic eye! This enrages the ancient god! Outside, Morg nearly obliterates Air-Walker, using his own arm as a club! He’s stopped by an attack from both sides by the airborne forms of Firelord and Nova! Inside, Galactus uses his enormous hand to swat the hero again and again into the ship’s wall! Morg casts Nova far away with his power! He then picks up his weapon and advances upon Firelord with a menacing grin! The Surfer falls into Galactus’ outstretched hand. He stands up bravely and defiantly. This act finally gets the god to stop and listen.

Firelord raises his firey staff, ready for an attack. Morg strikes to quickly however! He knocks the staff far away and then follows with a deep wound to Firelord’s chest! In disbelief, he drops! Inside, Galactus speaks of how he has left many ex-Heralds, possessing the Power Cosmic, in his time. A mistake he will rectify right now…..with all of their deaths! Morg raises his axe to finish the job! But he hears Terrax gloat from behind that he shouldn’t concern himself with fodder. Terrax is the only one here worthy of a true fight! Morg appears intrigued. Back within the ship, as Galactus prepares to kill the Silver Surfer, he pleads one final time. If he doesn’t depower Morg, though the Surfer and his allies may fall this day, other heroes are sure to come. Galactus will not know a moments peace as long as his new Herald acts in his stead! Galactus’ eyes stop glowing. He speaks with two simple words, “Very well.” (Did you guys get whiplash from going back and forth from Galactus to Morg? You did? Umm. I’m sure it wasn’t from reading my article. Go sue someone else. Go sue Disney.)

While the two cosmic axes meet with a fierce clash outside, Galactus and the Silver Surfer exit the spacecraft. As they begin their descent toward the ongoing battle, Terrax’s axe suddenly shatters! Terrax is shocked enough that it allows Morg time to follow with a forearm to the face! Terrax falls! Morg prepares to then behead his new enemy! But, as the Surfer yells out in terror, a returning Nova blasts the axe away! (Man, this guy hasn’t decapitated a single person this whole issue. Poor guy. It’s really messed up when people interrupt others when they’re trying to enjoy their hobbies.) The Surfer lands and asks for an update on his comrades’ wellbeing. As Nova does as asked, no-one sees as Morg picks up his fallen weapon! The Surfer cries out once again, but it’s all too late. Nova is cut down! She falls into the Silver Surfer’s arms and perishes there. An enraged Silver Surfer powers up to his max and approaches a happily awaiting Morg! But before this battle can begin, Galactus puts a gigantic hand between the two as he roars for this to stop this very minute! The two Heralds look up to the angered god!

It was Nova’s murder that made up Galactus’ mind. The ancient god told Morg as such as he stripped the madman of the Power Cosmic that he had gifted him. Morg roared in outrage as he was depowered. Galactus then took his leave. The Surfer wasted no time. He attacked Morg with an energy blast before he could do the same! However, Morg still had enough might to triumph. He blocked the attack! But before he could retaliate, Terrax hammered him in the back of his skull with his fist! Not to be undone yet, Morg throws Terrax into the Surfer! That’s when a one-armed Air-Walker grabbed hold of the monster and held him while a recovered Firelord and Terrax shot him with powerful blasts again and again! The Surfer soon joins them with his own power! Terrax waits for Morg to fall before he picks up his axe. He raises Morg’s own weapon to finish him off! The Surfer tries to stop him from ending the villain’s wretched life, but too late! As the blade sinks into hardened flesh, there’s a gigantic explosion! (Finally, someone hits with an axe blow! Am I right, folks? Damn!)

Not too long after, Morg’s smoking skeleton lies with the axe still wedged where his heart once was! Terrax removes it for himself. Galactus, momentarily interested, turns to finally leave. But he’s stopped by Firelord. If Galactus will reform his old friend, Air-Walker, they will both serve as Heralds, locating unpopulated world’s for the god to feast upon. Galactus agrees after a short moment of contemplation. Galactus leaves as the remaining Heralds place Nova’s corpse upon the Silver Surfer’s board. They send her off into a nearby sun. Firelord and Air-Walker say their farewells and then leave with the ever-hungry ancient one. Terrax and the Surfer make an uneasy pact to leave one another to their own business. Terrax then flies off himself. This leaves only the Silver Surfer on the barren world. Alone, he mourns the true hero here today. The one who gave her very life. Nova.

End.

Why has there never been an ongoing comic series spotlighting the many Heralds of Galactus on awesome, cosmic adventures? There have been a few specials here and there, sure. But never an ongoing series. I mean, Marvel will release comics about every single Spider-Person in the known multiverse, but this can’t be a thing? Fools. What a missed opportunity. Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes. Now that I’m done with my rant, I really should exit my bathroom …..

Our cosmic epic continues with the mighty Silver Surfer lying on the ground with zero body movement. Smoke rises from where he was recently fired upon by a nameless brute! Can he truly be dead? (I hope not! I’ve still got two more parts to write after this one, and I can’t imagine them being very exciting with the main character being dead! Wait! You ever seen the movie, “Weekend at Bernie’s”? Now, hear me out…..) Nova morns the Surfer, hands caressing his wound and tears flowing down her energized face. Suddenly, the Silver Surfer turns his face to look at her and asks if the large creature is gone yet! She confirms that he is gone as she stammers her reply in shock. He stands then, completely unharmed in the slightest! When questioned, he merely states that it was the quickest way to force the nuisance to leave him and the others alone without hurting him!

Firelord seems unphazed with this scene, but Nova remains beside herself in shock for a moment longer. Finally, she proclaims how sorry she is for the Silver Surfer and Firelord to have to go so far out of their way just to find her. She’s not sure where her memory went after leaving Galactus’ side, but the thought of the Surfer’s murder seems to have shocked her back into reality. (What an ass move on the Surfer’s part. Who pretends to be dead just to avoid other people? So childish. I just pass gas, personally. It seems to do the trick.) The three former Heralds then fly free of the planet’s atmosphere and the Surfer asks Nova for her aid against this new, psychotic Herald, Morg. She quickly agrees. But will they truly be enough? The male beings in her company seem confident. But first, how to locate Galactus’ cloaked ship? Firelord speaks up. He knows someone that can find it for them easily. Unfortunately, he’s dead and buried!

A short time later, the trio stands, looking downward at the rocky ground around them. Firelord knew this man. He was once a Herald of Galactus as well. His name was Gabriel Lan, but he was better known as Air-Walker. Firelord had buried him here because this asteroid belt was close to where the home world they both had shared once was, before its destruction. Air-Walker died soon afterwards. Firelord had heard that his friend’s consciousness had later been transferred into an android body, but this form had perished too, this time at the hands of the Asgardian, Thor. As Firelord told this tale to the others, he was continually digging. Soon, he had the robotic corpse uncovered. (Why the hell would you bury a robot? What’s the point? That’s like having a funeral and burial for a broken toaster. Ah, Toasty. How I miss your delicious toast. Sob.) Firelord lifted the android from its resting place and opened a hatch on the back. He began to remove parts from within its broken shell.

Soon, Firelord stood and produced three objects in his right hand. He had removed them from Air-Walker’s back cavity. He explained that they were cosmic cells. They were what powered the robot. Perhaps, if the three of the concentrated a portion of their cosmic energies into them and they were replaced, Air-Walker would live again! It was worth a shot. They needed all of the help they could get. Each taking a cell in their hands, the three did this. And when the three components were sufficiently charged, Firelord returned them and waited. Nothing happened at first. Then, a hand began to tremble! Then, the robotic body of Air-Walker sat up and lept to his feet! But before anything could be said to him, the former Herald attacked with empowered fists, speaking in broken sentences as he did so! Apparently, his mind had been damaged, and now he had a portion of all three ex-Heralds’ powers! This was going from bad to much, much worse very quickly! (Does it ever tick you off that they’re really aren’t prizes inside cereal or Crackerjack boxes anymore? Not sure why I’m writing this in the middle of a Silver Surfer article, but I say we fight back, America! Give us back our cheap, crappy toys!)

The Silver Surfer and Nova attacked from the front, but were easily dispatched by Air-Walker’s blasts! Though it saddened Firelord, he fired a shot from his fire staff at full power! But from the flames and debris, Air-Walker still approached his prey! His armor and flesh had been burned away, leaving only his robotic form beneath! He stammered once again, though a bit more clearly this time. He would kill them all! (Insert “Terminator” music here with Sarah Conner describing the scene in a monotone voice.) Meanwhile, across the Universe, Morg burst from the mystical waters of the world he had doomed to Galactus’ unending hunger. He was even more powerful than when he had originally entered the well. He could feel it in every fiber of his powerful frame as he flew off to meet his master. When he reached Galactus’ ship, the god knew his minion had been altered. He could sense how much more powerful he had become. This made him question his Herald’s loyalties. Morg assured him that his loyalty was absolute. Satisfied, Galactus ordered Morg to find him another suitable world to devour.

Meanwhile, the battle with Air-Walker continued upon the asteroid. Though the Surfer and Nova took their shots, they were blasted away from the fight! This gave the robot time to concentrate on Firelord! But as the mechanical monstrosity was choking the life from him, he suddenly stopped. He then spoke Firelord’s true name, Pyreus Kril! He remembered his friend at last! Obviously upset for what he had done, Air-Walker pleaded for forgiveness and help in regaining his memory. Firelord lay a comforting hand on his shoulder and swore he would see to it. But, if he could first help them in locating Galactus’ cloaked ship? Right away, the android knew where it was located! Firelord was ready to take the fight to Morg right this very moment. The Silver Surfer, however, was more calm and calculating. They would need one final bit of help if they were to succeed against Morg. They would need the aid of, until now, Galactus’ most feared Herald, Terrax!

To be continued…..