Okay, so we’ve gone over only a small fraction of this cosmic tale so far. And there’s plenty more to come, Unspokenites! So, Shall we just skip my mad ramblings this time and jump right into part 3 of the “Herald Ordeal”? Yes? Awesome! This story was originally printed in “Silver Surfer” #72 for those interested. Now, without further ado, on with the show…..(Don’t want to hear my fascinating musings…..mumble…..grumble…..my mommy thinks I’m cool…..)
The Silver Surfer and Firelord’s search for Nova takes them to a filthy, crime-ridden world known as Calculex. As the duo land, they are immediately approached by a feline female that offers her services as a tour guide…..plus much more. (That means she’s a hooker for those of you not picking up on the subtle clues.) The Surfer stammers shyly that they will not be in need of her services. Firelord on the other hand uses this opportunity for info. He explains that his friend is merely shy but he is looking for a particular girl. The female creature nods after Firelord gives a brief description of Nova. She points to a nearby building. They both quickly leave while their “guide” shouts in the background about how she was not paid for her services. The two seem to be oblivious to this and their surroundings in general as they both walk directly into the muscled frame of an angered brute!
It seems that this mountain of an alien has heard of the infamous Silver Surfer and wants a duel with him in order to grow his own reputation. A confused Surfer politely declines. Confused beyond words, the alien stands there baffled. He exclaims that, now that the gauntlet has been thrown, the duel must commence. Firelord looks up into the beast’s face and roars for the creature to leave. The Surfer has refused. Story over. They then leave the behemoth scratching his head is disbelief as they continue their search for Nova. (Remember the moral here kids, Bullies, though they’re often much bigger than you, often have brains no larger than your average rabbit’s poop pellets. Join me here again for more interesting facts.) As the two former Heralds continue towards their destination, they realize what this establishment is, an intergalactic strip joint!
Entering the sleazy building, they are met with beaded curtains and loud music. Moving the beads aside, it takes no time to locate her. Nova is on stage, dancing sensually around a pole as other female dancers follow suit. (Bet you didn’t see that coming! Kind of takes the piss out of it though since Nova’s always technically naked anyway. Sigh.) The two cosmic beings stand there, transfixed. They mention he name loudly but there’s no recognition in her eyes to her own name or of the Silver Surfer or Firelord. The Surfer ponders that perhaps her being dismissed from Galactus’ service has broken her mind. Tired of this scene, the Surfer walks up on stage and seizes Nova, picking her up to carry her away from this place. As Nova protests, he and Firelord are stopped from their retreat by the same titan from earlier! And boy, oh boy, does he look angry!
Elsewhere, Morg finishes his transmission with Galactus and looks about the bloodstained scene around him. Stepping over corpses, he approaches one of the world’s denizens that’s still breathing. Morg demands to know what’s in the cave that his comrades died to protect. The creature will not speak, so Morg throws him aside and kills him. He then enters the cave and spies an old one, meditating. Once again, he demands to know the purpose of this place. This ancient being will not reveal anything either, until Morg promises that he will allow he and the remaining group of his people to live in exchange for information. The alien elder agrees. He tells of the Well of Life, a sacred pool in which his people used to drink from or bathe within to evolve from neanderthals and ultimately create the peaceful utopia that was spread throughout this planet. Morg seemed intrigued. So it was power. He throws the old man aside and slowly walked into the pool until he disappeared within. (Don’t worry, folks. I bet Morg just wants the knowledge to build a theme park for this planet’s kiddies. I can just see it now: “Uncle Morg’s Well World, the deadliest place for kids since Chuck E. Cheese!”)
Back at the strip club, the gigantic alien thug reaches for the Silver Surfer, not to be denied his duel this time around. But a table smashes to pieces over his head as a bar fight has broken out around him. Firelord and the Surfer use this distraction to carry the protesting Nova towards the door. But before reaching the exit, and the freedom beyond, Silver Surfer is stopped once more by the titanic alien creature. He demands that the two of them fight right now. Tired of this annoyance, the Surfer agrees. Both beings power up their fists with energy. But the Surfer seems to be just slow enough on the draw that he’s hit directly in the chest by the other’s attack! Smoke rises from the wound as he lies limply on the floor! Nova’s memory is sparked by her friend’s life being in mortal danger! She cries out his name in horror, but the Silver Surfer is unresponsive…..(Now she remembers him?! Ugh! Women!)
To be continued…..