Here it is, folks! Coming straight to you from my bathroom as I sit upon my porcelain throne, part five of six is completed in my comprehensive look back at the Silver Surfer: “Herald Ordeal” epic! (Guys, I’m starting to think I have stomach issues…..) Now, on with the story!

Terrax sat upon a large rock on the nearly barren world, seething in hatred. He had been exiled here not so long ago by his hated enemy, the Silver Surfer. He’d lost track of how long he’d been trapped here alone. But as he saw it, the longer his time here, the sweeter his revenge would be. As he was lost in thought, a familiar voice called out to him from behind. Turning, he saw the very person he was just imagining ripping limb from limb, the Surfer himself! And he wasn’t alone. He had three other ex-Heralds of Galactus with him! (Why am I not overly confident that Terrax will join up without a fight? This is a comic book though. Characters throw down, destroying whole city blocks, over lesser things like being shorted one McNugget sauce packet.) The Silver Surfer began by asking to make a bargain. But the Surfer barely said another word before Terrax answered with a mighty blow to the cosmic hero’s face!

The Surfer had hoped to bypass all of this. Very well. If Terrax wouldn’t listen of his own free will, he would be forced to. He ordered his companions to encircle and attack! Firelord and Air-Walker struck first, each grabbing one of Terrax’s mighty arms. But he used his superior strength to smash the two into one another, taking them momentarily out of the game! He then grabbed for a weapon. Finding a long stone, he snapped it out of the ground and formed a club. Terrax swung this new weapon at Nova’s beautiful face! But Firelord had regained his strength and blocked this blow with his flaming staff! Firelord threw Terrax to the ground where Air-Walker punched their foe in the face with all of his mechanical might! But this wasn’t enough. Terrax threw Air-Walker into an unsuspecting Firelord, taking the two male beings out of the fight once again! (Well, things seem to be going rather smashingly. That is if you’re talking about Terrax smashing Firelord and Air-Walker together like cymbals! Where’s the Surfer in all of this anyway? One pimp-slap and the dude’s off crying somewhere?)

Terrax then quickly spun around to use his club to block an energy blast that he’d expected from behind from Nova! He beat the ground between them quickly, knocking loose rubble that struck Nova and blinded her! He then stood over her and swung downwards, ready to cave in her firey skull! But instead, he struck the Silver Surfer’s hovering surfboard! A hand then grabbed the monster’s head from behind, spun him around, and the Surfer uppercut him with all of his power, knocking Terrax sailing through the air! (About damn time! I mean, wussy move, but at least it was a move. Man, where’s Wolverine when you need a manly fight to read about? Sigh…..) Terrax rose moments later. He backed towards an enormous drop-off with only crashing waves and stone to break his fall! He would not be imprisoned. He’d take his own life first! The Surfer merely stated that this would only stun Terrax and they’d have words anyway. Sighing, Terrax begrudgingly agreed to listen.

(Damn! Was it me, or did that at all remind you of the alleyway brawl in the cult classic film, “They Live”? Just put on the damn glasses already! Jeez!) It was then that the Silver Surfer told the tale of the newest and most bloodthirsty Herald of Galactus, Morg. Terrax seemed unfazed by this tale. After all, anyone who could frighten his own enemy to this degree was fine by him. What was in it for him to join these do-gooders? What did he care? Perhaps if he was granted his freedom from this accursed rock? The Surfer thought on it and then, against his allies’ wishes, he agreed. But first, Terrax demanded that they find his cosmic axe that was cast into an asteroid field when he was taken here. Again, the Surfer agreed. And so off into deep space the former Heralds journeyed in search of Terrax’s deadly weapon.

When they finally located the large asteroid in which the Surfer thought he had thrown the axe not so long ago, the Heralds all split up in search of the item. It was Air-Walker that located it with his superior sensors. Terrax took his mighty axe in his hands and smiled a fiendish smile. Nova and the Silver Surfer walked a bit away from the others, discussing strategy. As they did, Terrax slowly advanced behind them, bladed weapon raised to strike! Nova suddenly saw this and cried out to the hero to duck! But the Surfer calmly turned instead, questioning if Terrax was quite done. Terrax scoffed and replied that yes, he was done finding the balance to his long-lost cosmic axe. Now they could all leave this place and bring the fight to Morg! Hell had better make room for a new arrival, because this particular madman’s days were officially numbered now!

To be concluded…..