Okay, so we’ve gone over only a small fraction of this cosmic tale so far. And there’s plenty more to come, Unspokenites! So, Shall we just skip my mad ramblings this time and jump right into part 3 of the “Herald Ordeal”? Yes? Awesome! This story was originally printed in “Silver Surfer” #72 for those interested. Now, without further ado, on with the show…..(Don’t want to hear my fascinating musings…..mumble…..grumble…..my mommy thinks I’m cool…..)

The Silver Surfer and Firelord’s search for Nova takes them to a filthy, crime-ridden world known as Calculex. As the duo land, they are immediately approached by a feline female that offers her services as a tour guide…..plus much more. (That means she’s a hooker for those of you not picking up on the subtle clues.) The Surfer stammers shyly that they will not be in need of her services. Firelord on the other hand uses this opportunity for info. He explains that his friend is merely shy but he is looking for a particular girl. The female creature nods after Firelord gives a brief description of Nova. She points to a nearby building. They both quickly leave while their “guide” shouts in the background about how she was not paid for her services. The two seem to be oblivious to this and their surroundings in general as they both walk directly into the muscled frame of an angered brute!

It seems that this mountain of an alien has heard of the infamous Silver Surfer and wants a duel with him in order to grow his own reputation. A confused Surfer politely declines. Confused beyond words, the alien stands there baffled. He exclaims that, now that the gauntlet has been thrown, the duel must commence. Firelord looks up into the beast’s face and roars for the creature to leave. The Surfer has refused. Story over. They then leave the behemoth scratching his head is disbelief as they continue their search for Nova. (Remember the moral here kids, Bullies, though they’re often much bigger than you, often have brains no larger than your average rabbit’s poop pellets. Join me here again for more interesting facts.) As the two former Heralds continue towards their destination, they realize what this establishment is, an intergalactic strip joint!

Entering the sleazy building, they are met with beaded curtains and loud music. Moving the beads aside, it takes no time to locate her. Nova is on stage, dancing sensually around a pole as other female dancers follow suit. (Bet you didn’t see that coming! Kind of takes the piss out of it though since Nova’s always technically naked anyway. Sigh.) The two cosmic beings stand there, transfixed. They mention he name loudly but there’s no recognition in her eyes to her own name or of the Silver Surfer or Firelord. The Surfer ponders that perhaps her being dismissed from Galactus’ service has broken her mind. Tired of this scene, the Surfer walks up on stage and seizes Nova, picking her up to carry her away from this place. As Nova protests, he and Firelord are stopped from their retreat by the same titan from earlier! And boy, oh boy, does he look angry!

Elsewhere, Morg finishes his transmission with Galactus and looks about the bloodstained scene around him. Stepping over corpses, he approaches one of the world’s denizens that’s still breathing. Morg demands to know what’s in the cave that his comrades died to protect. The creature will not speak, so Morg throws him aside and kills him. He then enters the cave and spies an old one, meditating. Once again, he demands to know the purpose of this place. This ancient being will not reveal anything either, until Morg promises that he will allow he and the remaining group of his people to live in exchange for information. The alien elder agrees. He tells of the Well of Life, a sacred pool in which his people used to drink from or bathe within to evolve from neanderthals and ultimately create the peaceful utopia that was spread throughout this planet. Morg seemed intrigued. So it was power. He throws the old man aside and slowly walked into the pool until he disappeared within. (Don’t worry, folks. I bet Morg just wants the knowledge to build a theme park for this planet’s kiddies. I can just see it now: “Uncle Morg’s Well World, the deadliest place for kids since Chuck E. Cheese!”)

Back at the strip club, the gigantic alien thug reaches for the Silver Surfer, not to be denied his duel this time around. But a table smashes to pieces over his head as a bar fight has broken out around him. Firelord and the Surfer use this distraction to carry the protesting Nova towards the door. But before reaching the exit, and the freedom beyond, Silver Surfer is stopped once more by the titanic alien creature. He demands that the two of them fight right now. Tired of this annoyance, the Surfer agrees. Both beings power up their fists with energy. But the Surfer seems to be just slow enough on the draw that he’s hit directly in the chest by the other’s attack! Smoke rises from the wound as he lies limply on the floor! Nova’s memory is sparked by her friend’s life being in mortal danger! She cries out his name in horror, but the Silver Surfer is unresponsive…..(Now she remembers him?! Ugh! Women!)

To be continued…..

I write this under the most dire of circumstances, Unspokenites…..I have a toothache. I know. I know. He’s so brave to still write this article for us, the fans. Well now, I’m no saint. (Or am I?) Anyway, enough about my dental woes. On to the next part of my look back at the second part of the “Herald Ordeal” storyline from “Silver Surfer” #’s 70-75. Enjoy as I type through my excruciating pain…..

The Silver Surfer clashes with the monstrous new Herald of Galactus, Morg! But fists are not thrown at this time. Not yet. The scuffle is short and only serves to aid the two cosmic beings as they feel each other out. Morg boasts how he has slain all who have stood before him since he was but a child. The Silver Surfer replies that Morg’s reputation pales in comparison to the atrocities that he himself has been forced to commit in Galactus’ name. The Surfer then uses Morg’s momentum against him to throw the larger creature and follows up the attack with a blast of the Power Cosmic from his hands! (Judo throw! Hiyah! Wow! Everybody was Kung Fu fighting! Come on and sing along, everybody!) Morg recovers quickly and meets the blast with one of his own from his battle axe! Galactus orders Morg to bring the Silver Surfer to him! Morg grabs the Surfer’s hands, pulls one behind his back, and locks it there in a hold as he forcefully takes the hero towards his former master!

The Surfer demands that Morg release him immediately and for the location of Nova. Galactus merely states that he has released her and that she is no longer his concern. (I’d be filing for unemployment if I was her! That was a wrongful firing!) He continues that the Surfer’s interference in his business will no longer be tolerated. His ship will remained cloaked from this moment onward to the cosmic hero’s senses. He then orders Morg to release him and to scout out yet another planet. He hungers. The ancient god takes his leave and the Surfer and Morg are once again at one another’s throats! They battle back and forth for a short time until Morg gets the upper hand, knocking the Silver Surfer unconscious with a mighty blast from his cosmic weapon!

He awakens sometime later, dazed. He has no idea how long he floated incapacitated in open space upon his board. He looks for his enemy but sees nothing but the empty void. Satisfied that he is now alone, the cosmic hero thinks about his situation. Obviously, Morg cannot be allowed to be Galactus’ new Herald. The creature is a bloodthirsty madman, now imbued with nearly unlimited power. No. This will not stand. But to defeat him, the Silver Surfer will need help. For this, he searches for and quickly locates another former Herald, Firelord! (Ooooh! It’s on now! The Silver Surfer’s getting his homies together for a galactic beatdown! Damn, son!) The Firelord is seemingly busy at the moment, as he battles countless armored foes all at the same time! When it appears as though he’s being defeated by their sheer numbers, the Surfer sends a cosmic blast their way, freeing the blazing humanoid!

At first, Firelord seems slightly annoyed that the Surfer would assume that he would require any aid. But when the army he was battling suddenly doubles with the arrival of reinforcements, he decides he wouldn’t mind a little help. As the two ex-Heralds fight side-by-side, Firelord asks the Silver Surfer why he’s come. The Surfer replies simply that he was looking for him. But why? They’ve never exactly been what you would call friends. That’s when Firelord is told the terrifying story of Morg. Firelord asks after Nova. The Surfer explains that her whereabouts are currently unknown. With the small army of armored creatures now defeated, the two powerful beings decide to locate Nova and then the three of them will confront this menace known as Morg! (Can we take a moment to discuss just how badass the name Firelord is? Discussion ended. Thank you for your time.)

Speaking of Morg the Merciless, Galactus calls out to his new Herald. Has he located a suitable world for him to devour? Morg answers that yes, he has. And there will be no resistance from the natives. That’s when Morg’s surroundings are revealed. Smoking ruins and mangled corpses surround him! This may just be the Silver Surfer’s biggest challenge to date. Luckily, it seems he won’t have to face it alone.

To be continued…..