No Such Thing as Monsters (Part 2)

What’s that? Where have I been? Well, there’s an interesting answer to that question. You see…..it’s a boy! No, no. There’s no need for you Unspokenites to send me blue bubblegum cigars or Superman onesies. You see, he’s nearly eighteen years old. Now, before you write in, questioning as to why Mrs. Symbifan and I have adopted a nearly grown man, let me explain. My son from my previous marriage has been living with us part-time while his room at his mother’s house is being remodeled. And since this is the longest length of time I’ve had the opportunity to spend with my only son, I’ve been taking full advantage before he’s too old to want to spend so much time with his “geeky” father. So, cease calling the FBI and lets return to the second part of this fantastic three part epic…..

Waverider sits in silent contemplation at a desk within one of the silent rooms in the place he calls home. But though the home itself appears fairly plain, it is the emptiness that surrounds it that is awe-inspiring. For this dwelling exists in a place that is quite literally out of time itself. It is known as the Vanishing Point. It is here that he considers breaking his one and only rule. A rule to never intervene in the timeline of the universe, no matter how small his involvement or how noble his cause. He studies photographs depicting the death of the hero, Superman, at the hands of the monster Doomsday. And, though the Man of Steel did find a way to return from the dead, it is a process that cannot be repeated. If the kryptonian dies this time, it is forever. Even now, as Waverider weighs his options, Superman faces that same monstrosity once again on the planet Apokolips. (So, he watches events unfold but has vowed to never intervene? Sounds like a certain Marvel character, huh folks? Though Waverider far surpasseses the Watcher in raw sex appeal…..What? A straight man can’t say that? You guys need to grow up! Moving on…..)

A battered Man of Steel stands amidst the rubble and amassed corpses left in Doomsday’s wake. As he attempts to think strategically about his next course of action, his enhanced hearing picks up a stirring behind him. He turns and sees Darkseid himself! But before many words can be exchanged, the evil New God suddenly drops face first next to Superman’s feet! (You ever fall face first after a night of drinking? Man, do I have some teenage years stories to tell! I actually remember holding with all of my might to handfuls of grass, thinking I was going to fall off of the planet! Talk about quick thinking on my part! What was I talking about?) At this time, within Darkseid’s stronghold, the Cyborg Superman amuses himself by throwing Desaad around like a ragdoll. This, however, is interrupted as the dreaded one spies a battalion of Darkseid’s elite Parademons approaching upon a viewing screen. Amused, he transfigures his robotic arm and uses it to hack into the planet’s defense systems. Using this, he amplifies the transmissions they’re using to stay in contact, and literally melts their brains! They fall from the skies like sprayed insects.

Meanwhile, Superman carries Darkseid’s near-lifeless body over his shoulder. He discovers a slab of metal amongst the debris and places the New Gods’ still form upon it. After examining the evil one’s injuries and listening to his slowing heartbeat, Superman realizes that Darkseid will soon die if something is not done quickly. But does he really want to save this monster? Darkseid is responsible for the deaths of countless victims in his long life. A dictator and genocidal madman of the highest order. Superman considers letting him die. But instead, he tears the Motherbox from his arm and places it upon Darkseid’s chest. If there is any hope at all of reviving this villain, the Motherbox is that hope. (You see, this is why it’s a good thing I wasn’t granted superpowers. I’d have let Darkseid die. Let’s say I was Peter Parker, holding my dying Uncle Ben in my arms as he drones on about power and responsibility. I’d agree and swear an oath to him, wait for the old dude to die, and then completely go the opposite way. Kneel before Spider-Man! Um…..I think I went a smidge off topic there…..I am in therapy.) Superman turns to leave the sentient computer to do its work but is surprised by the sudden appearance of Waverider as he descends from the smoke-filled skies!

Superman is usually the voice of reason for more violent heroes, their conscience given form. But in this instance, he’s plainly had enough. When Waverider tries to explain his vow of non-interference, the Man of Steel simply states that if he’s not going to be of any help, he needs to leave now. (Wow! Supes is definitely not the superhero I’d want to make mad at me! Dude may seem like a boyscout, but he has the power to rip off both of your arms before you know what happened, and make you check your own prostate for colon cancer! -Shudder!) Waverider makes up his mind in that instant. He reaches out to Superman, placing a hand on his chest. It’s then that Superman witnesses the origins of Doomsday as if he were there in person!

It began 250,000 years ago, on a distant and barbarous world. An alien to this planet, a gray-skinned creature called Bertron, and a few other human-looking scientists, began an experiment that would one day give birth to Doomsday. They used a newborn baby in these ghastly tests. The child would be shot to the surface of the planet, where the savage and bestial denizens would rip the baby to shreds upon the opening of the capsule! After this carnage, what was left would be brought back and a new child cloned from the remaining tissue. This would go on for ten years until the baby began to change on a genetic level in order to survive! Bertron called this new being “The Ultimate”. (Bertron? What’s his partner’s name, Ernieus? Hahaha! Sorry. A Sesame Street joke was uncalled for.)

Even more time would pass until only Bertron himself was the only original scientist. It had been two years since the child had been seen. In that amount of time, the population of creatures had dwindled to nothing. That was when the Ultimate came home! Using the boney spikes that had grown upon its body and it’s superior strength, this now unkillable monstrosity had returned to pay back those who had hurt him so many times! You see, somehow he remembered! The Ultimate made short work of Bertron and his colleagues and then waited upon this now lifeless planet until he would stow away upon a returning supply ship and leave the place behind forever. It would terrorize many more worlds in the coming years until coming to the planet Calton. Here it would meet defeat at long last! (Damn! And I had assumed he was returning with a Father’s Day card! Hmmm. Live and learn.)

The technologically advanced world of Calton lasted for a mere three years under the creature’s onslaught until only the capitol city remained. It was within the great hall of this city that a plan was put into action. The king and his family concentrated their very lifeforces into concentrated energy! This energy then took the form of a single, powerful entity, the Radiant! The Radiant wasted little time in throwing himself into combat against Doomsday! Doomsday had never before faced a being composed of pure energy and therefore couldn’t evolve his body quick enough! This clash of the titans would still last for a solid week until the Radiant shot Doomsday with a blast so mighty, the monster at last fell! Doomsday’s body was suited and shackled before being fired into the void of space, customary of these people as a sign of no honor. This craft would later crash land to the Earth, where Doomsday would reawaken to cause yet more destruction! (Damn Caltonians and their stupid burial rites! They could have ended the threat of Doomsday right there, while he was technically dead! But at least they covered up the creature’s…..um…..you know. Can you imagine how monstrous Doomsday is “down below”? Talk about scary!)

Just as Superman’s mind returns to present day, there is sudden movement behind he and Waverider. Turning, they see that Darkseid has awoken! At this moment however, the Cyborg Superman has decided that, since he has now eliminated all real threats to his rule of Apokolips, he will now make the common folk here fear him, beg him for his leadership. To do this, he fires warheads at the planet’s food silos! Superman takes flight immediately towards the missiles! But when he arrives, the Man of Steel realizes that he is too late! The warheads are too close to impact and their armor too dense to break! That’s when the unthinkable happens, powerful lazers hit the missiles, destroying them before they can touch down! Superman knows these lazers all to well. They are the signature attack of Darkseid himself, his Omega Beams! The evilest of all of the New Gods has just saved his people from certain starvation! (Awww! That’s sweet. Nevermind the untold deaths and torture that has been perpetrated by this sadistic monarch. This single act of heroism totally redeems him in my eyes. I did mention I was in therapy, right?) Superman doesn’t miss a step. He crashes through Darkseid’s citadel wall, straight toward a certain horrified, half-robotic supervillain!

The Cyborg Superman and the true Man of Steel now begin what’s expected to be a long, titanic battle. But instead, Darkseid fires his Omega Beams once more! Superman quickly snatches the Cyborg up and places him straight in their destructive paths! Cyborg Superman seems to disintegrate completely! But this victory is short-lived. The villainous one reforms his body using the surrounding electronics and attacks! Superman reacts on instinct. He throws the Cyborg through a wall, nearly destroying his body once again! But once more, he reforms! This time he creates a body similar to a spider-like tank! Darkseid has grown tired of these games. He unleashes the full fury of his Omega Beams, annihilating all that remains of the Cyborg Superman! Superman then lands. He spies Desaad not too far away and demands Doomsday’s whereabouts. Cowardly Desaad immediately responds that he teleported the monster to the planet Calton. The people there dealt with the creature once afterall. Waverider proclaims that this was done so long ago that Doomsday has definitely evolved past the point of being harmed by the attack that was used last time. Superman then steps forward with authority. He vows that this ends now. He will stop Doomsday once and for all!

To be concluded…..

This article is dedicated to the newest member of the Symbifan family, Eden Love Miller, my great-niece. May your life be long and full of happiness. And though this family is not kryptonian, know that our power to love one another makes us truly invincible.

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